Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

[42cat]

I know I should 'fess up at home and admit I need help to cut down and/or stop drinking, but I really want to try this on my own first.

My husband goes away for work from time to time, usually for a week every few months...... When he's home, I have more control over my drinking. (Still have a couple in the afternoon after work and then, of course, the evening...which, in fact, isn't a whole lot of control, is it.) ....

... Anyway, when he's away, I will have a couple in the morning before work, and I will drink more steadily after work and into the evening. Last time, I got the shakes afterward - for the very first time -- scared me to death. (But not enough to stop.)

Long story short... I didn't realize you could order just the Kudzu Rescue from this site (can't afford the whole kit). So in my panic after finding out my husband will be gone for a week, I found Kudzu Recovery on e-bay last Friday (and am hoping it'll be similarly effective) and ordered it. I hope it will arrive by the end of the week, but I'm in Canada and it's coming from the States, so it could be 5 days.. could be 30.

....... My question, then, is about coping strategies. Has anyone been in this situation (husband goes away, or you're generally alone, etc.) and you've successfully fought off (even for a few hours) - or outsmarted - or at least diminished - your urge to drink.. without Kudzu or tapes, etc.? What did you do? What worked?

Thanks so much in advance. I'm 42 and have been drinking since teenagehood... and it's gotten worse, especially this year.... and I want/need to stop now more than ever. I found this site last week and am in love with it. Totally. What a wonderful, helpful, accepting, non-judgmental place this is. ((hugs)) to all of you.

~Catt

[Beaches]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Welcome Catt.
Yes I always find when I am home alone without responsibilities I drink more than I should. Glad to see that you ordered the Kudzu. It really works.

I just try to stay very busy. Get a project lined up. Maybe something you have been meaning to do and never got around to completeing? That could help pass the time.

Good luck you've found a great place.

[lushy]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Staying busy is the key for me as well. If you drink wine, make it into a spritzer so you are not drinking as much. Being home alone can be a big trigger.

[Guest]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Hi 42 cat and welcome.
I began to address my drink problem (am moderating) almost 5 wks. ago now. I was doing pretty well, but this past wk. I seem to be slipping back somewhat.

The first 4 wks. weren`t really all that bad, although as my friends here know, I did experience the odd night when I was crying out for a drink. All in all though, the first 4 wks. were fine. The occasional night of enormous cravings led to me considering the kudzu and I said here several times that I was going to get some, yet never got around to it. Like I said, I`m slipping back considerably this week.............

I do still think that it`s perfectly possible (though attainable for only the very few) to beat the booze without any meds. or supps., but you really need to have an iron will and nerves of steel. I say this as in the remote past, I managed to get myself off the drink with the aid of my willpower alone for a period of 10 yrs. I really can`t envisage myself being truly successful this time around without involving some sort of tangible help. People here swear by the kudzu. I think we should embrace such a tool.

I wish you well.

Starlight Impress

[42cat]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Thanks lushy and beaches and starlight... for those quick replies.

A project is definitely something I should think about. I think it would have to be an out-of-house project to keep me away from the fridge (rum and diet coke are my drugs of choice).

I know there's no way I will "not" drink next week.. I wish I could say I wouldn't, but I know I will ... but if I could cut down to, say, 2-3 before bed ONLY ... rather than 2-3 before work, 3 after work in the afternoon, 3 more in the evening, couple before bed - which is usually before 10:00 ... well, you get the picture .....

(Sounds like a lot of alcohol maybe? I don't know really - and not that this makes it much better or justifies it - I drink from a big glass and mix rather weakly for the most part, in my opinion anyway (about 1/5 alcohol to 4/5 cola), except for the couple before bed which are usually stronger, for the required pass-out factor.. something else I have to get my head around - going to sleep without the drinks.. but hopefully that'll come in time. Yep, I need help.)

Again, thanks so much for your replies. Just being here makes me feel like a change will (not might) happen for me. I feel hope... lots of it.

And, yes, I'm sooooooo looking forward to the Kudzu!

............. LOL - I've edited the heck out of this post .... my original "thank you" has turned into a novel. Thanks for listening, you guys. Much appreciated.

~Catt

[Doggygirl]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Hi Catt. It sounds like we have something in common in the *way* we drink. If I understand what you are saying, I too "stretch out" my drinking into pretty much an all day/evening event. I water it down....sort of "manage" (laugh) my "buzz" for MANY hours throughout the day. I still end up drunk at the end of it all. And I KNOW that people "know" what's going on (or strongly suspect it) which really embarrasses me, even though very few people actually say anything about it.

I'm a Vodka girl myself.

Anyway. I hope the Kudzu comes soon for you, and that it helps. I am starting with the MWO (sans Topa or other meds just yet) tomorrow. I will report how it's going, and I hope you will too. Many people have quit this habit without support tools.

I just want to have MORE of my days for ME - FREE.

DG

[42cat]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Thanks Doggy! Yes, I am definitely a drink-stretcher, up until just before bedtime .. and then pass out for bed by around 10 (up at 5:30/6:00 for work). Like you, I'm sure my husband and two teenaged daughters know I drink too much, but don't say it.

I actually drink Vodka too. I hadn't mentioned it because I didn't think to --- because it's my hidden stuff and I keep that in denial most of the time.... Figure you can't smell it as much as rum, and if I have a vodka here and there - and everywhere - between rums (which my husband has, but only 1 or 2, sometimes none), the rum bottle in the fridge doesn't seem to go down as much ......... Jeez, am I a piece of work or what... I've never actually admitted that "out loud". Somehow, it seems OK to do so here. I hope I am on my last hidden bottle.

Good luck to you... and everyone. Thanks again for posting!

[beatle]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

yeah, cat and doggy girl, your drinking habits sound a lot like mine (except I am now abs for three--count 'em three-- days, today being the first I could get out of bed for more than the absolute necessities, if you know what I mean).

If you gals have been at this for a long time, as in years, at this rate, I warn you not to stop cold turkey without help. If you can cut down first, it is easier to quit, but I think you will need help (just speaking from experience).

Meanwhile, use whatever tools you can get. If you don't feel comfortable with the meds, at least do the supps, they will help your willpower and your body in this transition. Many of the vitamins reduce cravings (even as they help your body heal), so maybe that is the best place to start. It's a win-win proposition.

Ok, I've said my same old bit so I'll shut up now.

[42cat]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Three days, beatle? Wow, and congrats to you! Amazing job. And here's to the coming Day 4! I can barely remember my last full 24 hours sober. I think it was last year some time. I probably had 4 or 5 days/evenings where I went without (this over a 12 month period ... every couple months, I'd go a day without, probably because we ran out and I didn't want to suggest a fresh bottle on a weeknight... unfortunately I found my way around that "problem" this year with the hidden vodka. A big step in the WRONG direction that was)...... I am hoping to report much better success in the coming weeks!!

Thanks for posting and for the input!

~Catt

[beatle]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

One thing I forgot to mention is that if you've been drinking a lot, your body doesn't absorb vitamins as well, so you need mega-doses or even more.

My doctor told me to take 6 B-complexes a day, spread out, instead of the 1 recommended.

Seven Weeks to Sobriety goes even further, recommending so much that I can't fit them all in my stomach (nor can I afford them!). She especially pushes vitamin C, which she says we can't get enough of and it is supposed to make it easier to cut down on alcohol.

Anyway, do your own research, but I just want to emphasise how great it is that all these vitamins are so good for us AND they help us cut down (most theories these days link heavy alcohol consumption to nutritional deficiencies). So have some fun with the vites.

[sujul]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

I would just like to add to these fine posts that I have also found it essential to have LOTS of interesting non-alcoholic things to drink....then you can say to yourself: "okay, I'm CHOOSING to have one of these (whatevers) before having wine later on...." Make it very conscious, very intentional--remind yourself that YOU are in charge...

Water is helpful, and also some good food that you enjoy....

And, the very best coping mechanism? Keep coming here and posting what's going on with you!! There have been times when I was more stressed and I've literally spent HOURS here reading and posting....
Thinking of you! With a little planning, you'll be okay...
:l :l

[zenvalentine]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Hi Catt,

I am trying for an AF night tonight and think the project approach is good for me. Also eating dinner early to fill some of the void. Plus now I have scheduled early morning exercise with friends on the days after my attempts at non-drinking nights. These gals will make me go even if I am hung over (they don't know I am hung over, or at least I don't think they do) so that's another incentive to avoid the bottle. Good luck!
Zen

[gracie29]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Just a note on the success of the cold turkey, can do it attitude. Supposedly AA has a 12% recovery rate which really stinks and says that it's much better to get help. It just re-enforces RJ's whole philosophy - its a combination of everything that makes it work. I've got the cd's, ordered supplements and am under the doc's care for withdrawel syptoms. I'm supposed to be weaning myself which I guess in my own way I am. Since March I've gone from 2 quarts of tequilla per week and probably 30 pack of beer to 10 to 14 drinks per night. Currently I'm down to 5 glasses of wine - 8 oz per night and even have a sober night here and there. Drinking is a demon that grabs on without you even knowing that it grabs on until you wonder how the hell did I get here?

Based on the research I've done it's a process that takes months to figure out what's going to work for you and it doesn't happen as soon as we'd like it to happen, once you figure it out what will work. Life goes on.

[out]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

I haven't as of yet...

had super sucess with the kudzu. i bought a reputable brand, but not the one on this site and have been winging it as of dosage..i just got the book today..others on this site swear by it and i think it works if it is a good brand and the dosage is correct. busy is good i have had too much time on my hands and have wound up drinking a little too much tonight, but not crazy...i donknow, but maybe just lose the rum in the fridge while hubby is gone..perhaps that will help..also be kind to yourself..we here are just figuring this out. I am right now just trying to be aware of my drinking rather than actively cutting down or judging it...each has our own process. i have to keep reminding myself that i still love myself regardless. it seems like you have love in your life. i get scared about the brain and other damage i may be doing, but the fear just makes it worse, for me. it isn't an incentive but an anxiety trigger. lonliness is a real trigger for me too as i am single. maybe focusing on hubby coming home is good, or maybe it's just that hubby is gone and you want to go a little wild. like i said, i donknow, but chatting here is a good distraction. I stopped my forth big drink tonight to come up here and chat.take care.

[42cat]

Husband away next week, Kudzu ordered.. A coping question...

Just wanted to say another thank you to everyone who posted here. Thank you!