ok, I'm not new to the boards, but I feel like I"m just starting out (again). I started strong in late winter/early spring, then faltered... swore I'd get back on track, then didn't. I'm writing this very hung over and annoyed with myself. I WANT to change, I'm just not doing it... So that's why I'm starting over (third time's the charm, right?)
Since I found MWO, I've always thought of it as a safety net... like someplace I can go if things get really bad. But the thing is, things ARE bad... I can rationlize all I want but I keep saying I'll stop drinking and don't. Maybe I'm lazy? I know it takes will-power, and in all other aspects of my life I am just chock full of will-power... but fermented anything in a glass (or bottle... I'm not picky) totally kicks my ass every time we meet.
So - here I am. Again. As always, I swear I will use these boards to help myself, but I know I will probably use them just long enough to put a band-aid over the problem and leave when I feel I have control over the stupid drinking thing (not that I WILL have control, but I'll THINK I do).
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (Einstein, I think). I keep posting without actually engaging anyone...that's obviously not working. So I have two questions for everyone...
First, WILL YOU ALL PLEASE HELP ME?
I'm not talking about needing to be baby-sat or anything (not that there's anything wrong with that). I know I'll log in to the drink tracker every day, but if you see that I'm not posting, call me on it! Harass me, be annoyed, be funny, be stressed out and need to talk to someone, whatever - I'm not picky. Lurking is definitely not helping me, so I think I need to start actually talking to people. If you all get annoyed that I start threads (if I actually start threads), I"m ok with that... let me know. (I think you get the idea)
Second, has anyone here just looked around, taken in their drinking habits, seen people living normal, non alcohol controlled lives and wanted to stand up and scream:
"seriously - what the F@#$!!!!? I"m an otherwise normal, intelligent person, so what the H*ll am I missing?"
Honest - I just don't get it... I read all the "chemical imbalance" and "some people are just different" articles and I understand and appreciate them... then I go right back to being someone who "drinks" without knowing why.
Wow - this rant went on WAY too long... I'll stop for now (and get to my actual work for the day). I REALLY want to make this work, so let's see what happens, shall we?
:h
Noella
Since I found MWO, I've always thought of it as a safety net... like someplace I can go if things get really bad. But the thing is, things ARE bad... I can rationlize all I want but I keep saying I'll stop drinking and don't. Maybe I'm lazy? I know it takes will-power, and in all other aspects of my life I am just chock full of will-power... but fermented anything in a glass (or bottle... I'm not picky) totally kicks my ass every time we meet.
So - here I am. Again. As always, I swear I will use these boards to help myself, but I know I will probably use them just long enough to put a band-aid over the problem and leave when I feel I have control over the stupid drinking thing (not that I WILL have control, but I'll THINK I do).
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (Einstein, I think). I keep posting without actually engaging anyone...that's obviously not working. So I have two questions for everyone...
First, WILL YOU ALL PLEASE HELP ME?
I'm not talking about needing to be baby-sat or anything (not that there's anything wrong with that). I know I'll log in to the drink tracker every day, but if you see that I'm not posting, call me on it! Harass me, be annoyed, be funny, be stressed out and need to talk to someone, whatever - I'm not picky. Lurking is definitely not helping me, so I think I need to start actually talking to people. If you all get annoyed that I start threads (if I actually start threads), I"m ok with that... let me know. (I think you get the idea)Second, has anyone here just looked around, taken in their drinking habits, seen people living normal, non alcohol controlled lives and wanted to stand up and scream:
"seriously - what the F@#$!!!!? I"m an otherwise normal, intelligent person, so what the H*ll am I missing?"
Honest - I just don't get it... I read all the "chemical imbalance" and "some people are just different" articles and I understand and appreciate them... then I go right back to being someone who "drinks" without knowing why.
Wow - this rant went on WAY too long... I'll stop for now (and get to my actual work for the day). I REALLY want to make this work, so let's see what happens, shall we?
:h Noella
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