my partner

[diamond]

my partner

Nattie,
after reading all these posts and what you have replied, it does sound like he has been able to lean and learn from you until he is now free to stand on his own two feet.

Now you need to lean on him he is backtracking and becoming offended by your drinking, whereas he was happy for you to drink when he was leaning on you.

Maybe he was trying to help by speaking to a neighbour, but it would have been better if he had made telephone enquiries anonymously from the telephone directory or yellow pages. Your neighbour as a counsellor should maintain your privacy so don't worry.

The first thing I would do is start looking for accommodation back nearer your family and preparing for help nearer to them.
Obviously I cannot know what your situation is, but you are describing typically what I have heard many time before and it 99% always ends the same way.

Start planning for your life and how you are going to get well.

Best of Luck
Diamond xx

[out]

my partner

you don't always see it when you're in it

Nattie, be kind to you, if you can move closer to your support systems and don't let anyone convince you to leave them again. Yes, I understand the feeling dupped part. I think we have all been there at one time or another...you are already hurting over the relationship and then wind up feeling stupid about being convinced of doing certain things when we were in it. He did not go and seek a counselor for himself or for the two of your...he asked your neighbor about a counselor for YOU. Unless you were suicidal and he was really worried about you he shouldn't be trying to seek a counselor for YOU and even then it shouldn't be a nieghbor. I know you know this and don't want to bring it up with him. It does not sound like he is interested in communicating and...yes verbal meanness is just as bad if not worse than hitting...only want to tell you how horrible you have been. If people for years have been telling you he is childish, he probably is. People for years have probably been telling him that you drink too much, only one of you is admitting a problem though. I obviously can't know enough to tell you what to do and I wouldn't anyway. From the little I know he sounds very much like someone I was with for many years, so this hits a spot for me and while I know you will suffer regardless, I am wishing I could save you some of that by asking you to continuously and vigilantly focus on yourself right now. You have to decide which will be more painful in the long run for you. So sorry, your situation just plain out sucks, no doubt.