Twitching toes

[Finkle]

OK, I had planned my evening to go to Yoga and fulfill my night with exercise and breathing, then I picked up the phone numerous times to cancel but didnt...so strong! THEN my friend rings to tell me that we cant go til Wednesday now... SO MY FIRST THOUGHTS ARE: YIPPPPEEEEEE, we can drink beer. The other half is away and will never know. Even tho I think he knows when I am telling tall tales anyway. I have spent the whole day anxious about it all and now I am like a kid at Christmas because I know I will go home and drink. I already have told myself thats what we are going to do, so we will start tomorrow, but tomorrow never seems to come!

So I have failed before I have even began - woe is me.:upset:

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

good intentions hey! u could always do yoga at home an not drink beer but it sounds to me like u have already decided 2nites plan, im really not judging in no position to judge, it s hard to re programe your brain isant it, as soon as the seed is planted thats it let the rollar coaster begin, i ve had a horrible weekend of not speaking to my partner, 3 nights on sofa an still not looking good, i think im slowly sliding down to rock bottom, hell i thought i was there already but obviously not,

i hope tommorow does come for u, dont drink 2 much if u r gonna, keep in mind the plans u have made for yourself xxx

[Finkle]

Twitching toes

Remorseful

Hey there,

Your weekend must have been awful.

Tis true, when your mind is made up thats it...

Thanks for the encouragement, as your name states I am trying ever so hard :-)

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

it s gonna b a great day im sure, 3rd can an its 9,26 am so im logging off soon b4 i get in the shit, i got to go cleaning in a bit for a mad lady, who can talk me under table, yes weekend has been awful, an forcast 4 this week not good either, take care an try as hard as u can, hopefully i will stop at this ,1 go work an not buy any more, im gonna try calling councillor again, i ve left about 10 messages, damm even the councilor dont want to talk to me, lol, maybe she knows she will need councillor after she s spoke to me, lol ! take care ,xxx

[Butterflybe]

Twitching toes

Hi Finkle and TryingsoHard,
I know what you mean about the 'mindset'. I too am often in that position of oh goodie, plans cancelled; which were put in place to distract me in the first instance; now I can have a few drinks and not worry. So, what I intend to try to do now is immediately make another plan to occupy that empty time and I figure that if I have to go out to do something I will not start drinking (until later) as I have to drive! Worth a thought?
Sorry you have had such a tough weekend (TSH) and that the forecast not good for the week ahead. Try not to drown the sorrows, perhaps just dampen them if required. Thinking of you.
Butterfly

[Deilight]

Twitching toes

Hey Finkle and All!

Today is the day I had decided to stop. So far so good. My hangover from my birthday party is quite the bad one so it's not easy. Right now I think the only thing that would make me feel better is a drink but have not given in so we'll hang in there.

Rachel, I have been following your threads and you sound like someone I could relate to. There just a few things about your posts that I really understood. You seem to be very hard on yourself, which I do too and it may feel warranted but it doesn't do one any good. You know what they say about guilt? It seeks punishment!

Finkle, you taking your dog for a walk today? Try make plans that don't involve drink! (as I see Butterflybe said!)

Hang in there girls and we'll see tomorrow if I got through my first day without alcohol!

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

delight, hope the hangover is not 2 bad an hope u got more determination than me, im gettin more each day,worked hard 2day ex hour an then i sorted out my poor dying tomato plants an my potatoes, i did walk shop 4 beer took half hr to carry beer up hill so i delayed drinking time by hrs 2nite so im not drunk wahoo, just shattered, im workin on the times an triggers an tryin to change them, then when i see councellor will b much easier to stop morning drinks as they r the bad but nessacary 1s, in my head an in my body,, i hope u do well, xx

[Finkle]

Twitching toes

Thanks guys for tips...

I only had six beers in fridge and was determined not to buy more! But I did, so any way, back to square 1.

Tonight I plan to pamper myself :-)

I have been follwoing Rachels threads too, and you are indeed very hard on yourself. I also love reading Rachels threads, you are a very vibrant person..

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

morning, i got 2 b hard on myself finkle, i been making bullshit excuses all my life so it s about time i got realistic an give my ass a good kicking,

bf actually didnt drink last nite, was horrible, i could see him watching everycan i drunk, which was 6, not counting the morning 1s, they never count, or the afternoon 2,! thats the morning medicine,

how sad is that drinking beer from a mug at 7am hugh,

not 4 much longer, belive me i ve tried not 2 but i cant work pouring with sweat an shaking like a giant vibrator! especially when im waitressing,

i have 2 go to the best bus stop in the world 2day after work, its on the doorstep of the pub, everyweek i say im not going in, we will c today?

i dont know if u read my story, it s under rachel28, i had a name change,

anyway have a goog relaxing night,

[Deilight]

Twitching toes

I read your story Rachel28. Soon, I should have the guts to spill mine. You have had some hectic stuff happen to you in your life. We all have different things and different ways of dealing!

Not going to the pub...yes, my dilemna which now has fixed itself in quite a negative way- I'm too embaressed to show my face. It's good not to be going as often (now hopefully not at all) but I feel disconnected from the world now. I got so trashed at my party that I don't think I actually had one meaningful conversation! Go figure. Alcohol has separated me from everything good in my life so it's now time to separate myself from alcohol.

You'll be so proud of yourself if you just get on the bus. Have you read Mags' post today? Just one small step. It's good, we make it out to be so big before we even get there, decide before we even get to point of decision!

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

it s hard trying to find where it all goe s wrong an fit it all in, to a story,reading it bk theres so many things i missed but i cant put it all in, i will finish this post in a min, got to make sanwhiches 4 my kids pack lunch xx

[Deilight]

Twitching toes

I'll come back to read. Have to take my first step of the day and get up and start the chores. This is literally how it is, like I said in reply to Mags post, getting out of bed is a challenge at the moment. I left my job without thinking of the consequences and now feel guilty and am punishing myself with hopelessness! Round and round we go. I think alcohol has driven me into depression. Have to find a job and have no enthusiasm to do so.

[Finkle]

Twitching toes

Tryingsohard & Delight

Rach - you make me laugh out loud hehehehe... I have a good (not rude) shaking vibrator story for you, I iwll PM to you hahahaha, oh thinking about it is making my eyes water.

Anyhooo, I read your story and as del. said you have had a "rough trot". Do you do any meditation/ relaxation exercises. My BF also monitors ALL my drinking, it is so frustrating, but necessary I geuss. My on going argument is that he prefers to lay on the couch staring at the idiot box and I am happy to sit outdoors (even when its 2deg) reading and drinking... So he doesnt meet me half way! Thats my excuse hehehehe...

As for never showing my face in the pub again, that is a TERRIBLE feeling, hence the reason why I stay home...:H

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

hi delight, r u doing your chores !!! i just posted on mags thread, it sounds so easy said like that, BUT i was saying to myself no no no , have a coffe but opened a beer, i feel i need it cant go out to work without it not yet, im going to remember an re read that post when i ve seen councillor an make it work, when i seen councillor i think the dr will set out detox programme, i just got 2 be brave enough to b honest, thats hard , the shame of telling some 1 , how much i drink, i dont think i ve been honest wiv myself, i tend to forget about sneaky 1s, i need 2 b honest to get sorted i know that, any way delight, be good an get cleaning, im off in a while 2 do cleaning for a lady, an i wont go pub, i ll b bk 2 c how u got on, ok ,, finkle, y is your name finkle? makes me chuckle evertime i type it !! hope u have a chilled af free nite , b good ! xxxx yoga an breathing right xx

[tryingsohard]

Twitching toes

posted same time there! i cant wait 4 this story , do tell, my bf an idiot box same, he detests the computer, cant an wont turn it on, he gets annoyed at me on it, he flicked the switch of in a row other nite, he d rather me sit an watch crap wiv him, then he just moans theres nothing on, i like 2 read but have not done so 4 ages, i forget what happened unless i read it all in 1 night,!!! an i dont get chance, im gonna make time, my mate read a boy called it, sounds very emotional i think i d cry, xx