Rock Bottom

[Janice]

I don't know how many times I've tried to post over the last few days. I'm struggling big time at the moment. This site saved me when I found it at the end of April and helped me to get 42 Af days under my belt. What a difference a few weeks makes. I've lost dad nearly 3 weeks ago, my mam's an alcoholic who's been slowly killing herself for the last 5 years and couldn't care less about anything or anyone and here I am, back to square one - and following in her footsteps. I was prepared to lose mam, built myself up really, thats what she wanted, but not my dad, I miss him so much. I'm just not functioning without a glass in my hand. My husband is so lovely and supportive yet I won't let him anywhere near me. Newbies in need was my lifeline and now I just feel I don't belong there anymore, don't know if I belong on this site really. Its my son's 21st tomorrow and I'm trying to put him first and make it a great day but its such an effort. I'm sorry for this, for this ramble.

[ducky]

Rock Bottom

Janice, so sorry to hear you are struggling. I remember all of your posts back in April/May and you made such progress. You can do it again! I hope you will stay on the MWO site and keep posting. You have had a terrible loss and have lots of stress, but you will get back on track, if a little at a time.

Lots of folks have been wondering about you. Please keep us in the loop and please come back!!!

(((((()))))))

[betty boop]

Rock Bottom

Janice, lovely to see you back, so sorry for your loss .....

Sending hugs BB cyberhugs your way to help you through this :l :l :l :l

[Guest]

Rock Bottom

Janice, of course you belong here............you need us just as we need you.

I can`t offer words of wisdom, as I`ve grown up only knowing one parent, my mum..........we are best friends and I can`t bear to think that one day I will lose her..........I can`t begin to imagine the depth of your pain. I do think that you`ll ache for your dad for a long time to come, but with each passing day you will begin to heal.

You need time to grieve.........yes, you have a drink problem and you were doing so well AF, but life has dealt you a cruel blow...........please don`t give yourself a hard time about drinking...........if it helps to have a little, then have a little, but don`t overdo it.........your dad loved you and wouldn`t want for you to steep yourself in booze to overcome your sadness, for only time will do that.

In your heart you can dedicate your boy`s 21st to your dad..........give them both a day to remember.

Am sending you all my love and prayers honey.
We love you.

Starlight Impress

[Kitty]

Rock Bottom

Hi Janice,

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. You are going through a dificult time so please come here whenever you want if you need to talk. Of course you belong here, here at MWO and especially at "Newbies" even yesterday your were talked of because we care about you and miss you.

We're all here to help support you. I have 29 days af under my belt and that is because I was inspired by you and Blue. You can do it Janice, I have faith in you.

Kitty

[retteacher]

Rock Bottom

Janice: You were such an inspiration. Please keep coming here. I'm finding the "just for today" and "one day at a time" approach is working out for me. Don't cut yourself off from MWO. You had 42 days...you can do it again. Mary

[Bella]

Rock Bottom

Janice, YOU DO BELONG HERE. You just need a helping hand. Youve got it. Post more, let it all out and don't feel alone. We are here for you. Bella xxx

[Flip]

Rock Bottom

I do not condone your drinking, but don't beat yourself up about drinking right now. Just get through the grief and your son's 21st and when you are coping with life better, then focus on your drinking. In the mean time, just think about how much you are drinking and remember why you want to stop. You WILL get through this.

[Doggygirl]

Rock Bottom

((((Janice)))) Even for someone brand new here like me, it is easy to see that you are loved and cared about by your friends here. As Starlight said, I can't even imagine the depth of your grief as I haven't been there yet. (dreading it) It may not be the right time to worry about your drinking. It definitely doesn't seem like a good time to walk away for one of your support systems, and I hope you don't do that.

More (((((Janice)))))

DG

[Popeye]

Rock Bottom

Oh Janice I'm so sorry about your dad.
I lost my mum a few years ago.
It's hard to keep focussed when something like that happens.
You're suffering and it'll take time.

I hope things get better for you.

[Accountable for Me]

Rock Bottom

Janice, as everyone else has said, you do belong here. You have suffered a HUGE loss. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. My father is my everything and I can't imagine life without him here.

You are grieving, and yes, you are drinking.... but if I were in your shoes, I probably would be too. Don't beat yourself up about it. Remember you ultimately want to be well, and you will get there in time. Try to be extra kind to yourself. You cannot control what your mom is doing either. You focus on you and your immediate family right now. Come here when you need a shoulder to cry on. We will be here for you.

[Janice]

Rock Bottom

thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and support. Think I'm going to get my son's birthday over with tomorrow then if I'm still feeling as bad even though I know its early days and these feelings are normal, I'm going to get myself to the Drs as I'm worried about how down I am feeling and consequently how bad my drinking will get.

Popeye, did you get to Robin Hoods Bay?

Love to you all, Janicexx

[Popeye]

Rock Bottom

Yes Janice, I got there.
I'm really touched that you asked.
Thank you.

[wakupmom]

Rock Bottom

Just wanted to say

Hi Janice,I am new here and i just wanted to add my condolancies too.Its clear from the messages that you have been a strenghth to others,let your friends here hold you up now!Stay close.Best wishes to you and your boy tomorrow.A hug from me too xx

[tryingsohard]

Rock Bottom

im sorry 4 your loss truly,must b very hard,coping wiv your mum, 2morrow b proud u have been a mum 4 21 years, an give your boy a good b day,

take onboard how u despair of your mum, an keep that in mind, as parents we got 2 think how r kids will feel about us,

IM NOT TRYING TO JUDGE im really not in position 2, just your post made me think, what will my boy think of me,he s only 10 but realising mum drinks 2 much.

keep posting an i hope with all my heart u find your way out , an u can have a good life,

again im so sorry 4 yor loss, i have a funeral fri, bf s uncle, he dramk like a fish all his life,

love to u, xxx