Newbies in Need day 18

[garden girl]

HI everyone to those who remember me and hi to those who dont. Ive had a few bad weeks and totally lost the way forward. The more determined ive been to stop drinking the more ive seem to drink, the more I drink the more I upset my husband and daughters, the more I upset them the more guilty I feel, the more guilty I feel the more I drink etc etc get the picture? Well enough is enough I am going to break this viciuos circle and get back on here and try for as many af days as possible. I am going to try and ditch the guilt and the last five years and just move forward day by day. So I will exercise today, I will eat well, I will go for the interview that Ive got tomorrow and I will try to remain positive and log onto newbies everyday. Talking of which where is everybody, does anyone know how Bluesky is? Janice Im sorry you have been down, I lost my dad 5 years ago and I know how hard it is. Hope everyone has a good day and Iwill get in touch later.:heart:

[Reenie]

Newbies in Need day 18

You go Gardengirl! You have a great plan and an optimistic outlook! Wishing you the best!

[Janice]

Newbies in Need day 18

Hello everyone - Garden Girl, good to hear from you and thank you for thinking of me. I'm sorry you've had a tough time too. My husband is away till Friday and has set me a challenge, to have an AF day today, swim tomorrow then I can have a drink tomorrow evening! I can't believe that one day AF can be so hard when I achieved so many not so long ago. You hit the nail on the head with your words "totally lost the way forward" - thats exactly how I feel too. Anyway, having a day gardening which is helping me work through things emotionally - I brought lots of dad's annuals back home with me, got them all in tubs and they're looking lovely. You sound really positive and ready to move forward again - I think thats what I'm worried about, I don't seem to have that motivation. All the supplements, cds etc are just sitting there gathering dust but I know I need to work through things and I will get there, I suppose its all part of the process of grieving. Anyway, just wanted to say a big thank you for being there and good luck today everyone with your goals. Janicexx

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need day 18

Good Morning Newbies in Need!

Hi Garden Girl. Man - that viscious cycle sounds all too familiar. For some reason as I was reading your post, I thought of an ex boss of mine - one of the BEST bosses I've ever had - and a presentation he gave. Boss was the Sr. VP of Sales and I was a sales manager in the department and there were a total of about 300 sales people in the department at the time. Everyone was so bummed because we had quotas to meet, and the economy was down, the competition was getting tougher, and there was turmoil inside the company too. He described our environment as "The Downward Spiral." The Downward Spiral doesn't lead anywhere good, but it's so hard to get off of it. Digging deep to find the positve motivation was the "way out" according to my boss, and I sure can't think up a better way!!

He told a story of 2 brothers who recently moved to a farm with their family. The farm was kind of a mess - lots of work to do cleaning it up. The father sent the two brothers out to the barn to clean up a massive pile of old poop. One of if the brothers complained ad nauseum. It was hot, there were flies, and the pile of poop seemed endless. The other brother was enthusiastically shoveling his behind off and whistling a happy tune. He was going at the stinky, unpleasant task like the energizer bunny. The miserable brother asked the happy brother just what the heck he was so dang happy about. The happy brother replied "with all this poop, there must be a pony in here somewhere!"

We were all handed little toy ponies to keep on our desks as a reminder. Some people thought it was stupid and just rolled their eyes. For others, it was a positive reminder of the way out of the downward spiral. The folks who managed to get positive made more commissions than the ones who didn't - especially during that rough economic time. I have not forgotten that story even though it's been......wow over 15 years since Fred originally told it to us.

Anyway, here is a virtual pony for anyone who needs to keep one at their desk or in their purse or somewhere close at hand. Garden Girl, I'm sending positive vibes your way cuz I got extra ones today. May not have 'em tomorrow, but for today my extras are yours. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Hi Reenie!!!

Janice it is wonderful to see you. Planting your Dad's flowers sounds beautiful. I'm sure it is sad too...I hope it is also healing in a way. My thoughts are with you and here is another big hug ((((((Janice)))))). I hope you have a good day gardening and find some comfort in the beauty of your daddy's flowers.

I am happy to be on Day 8. Finishing week 1 felt SO awesome and almost surreal. Starting week 2 is exciting. Just a couple more days until two digits!!! I took that melatonin last night. Today I am slappin' myself up side the head saying "I coulda had a V-8"!! I'm grateful the suggestion here of taking some - I bet I got 7 hours of sleep last night - what a relief!!!

Wishing a beautiful and successful day to all, whatever your goals may be.

DG
Day 8 ********(gold stars)

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need day 18

Hi GG, Janice, & Reenie: I've been doing well but must stay vigilant & not take anything for granted. GGirl, thank you for coming back. We need each other. I found out that I cannot get sober alone. I tried for years & years.

Yesterday, I think I discovered the difference between a craving & a trigger. For me, a craving is a thought ("I want a drink") that passes through me when I don't like a feeling I'm having or a situation I'm in. I want to escape. A trigger is something more visual: an empty space in front of my favorite liquor store, the wine aisle in the supermarket, people having cocktails in movies or on TV, etc. The trigger then turns into a craving. I've been reading "How to Quit Drinking WO/AA" & learned that cravings (urges) only last 10 - 15 mins. If I can distract myself & wait it out, the feeling passes. As a person builds up more & more sober days, the cravings diminish in number.

In addition to distraction & procrastination in dealing w/the urges, I also review how rotten I feel when I drink & remember some of my more embarrassing moments while drunk.

I hope you all are doing OK. Janice, I'm so sorry about Dad. My husband & I are the parents of grown kids, & we tend to think that they'd be perfectly OK if anything happened to us. I know there would be sadness, but I guess I didn't realize that even grown kids need their mom & dad sometimes. Dad's probably w/you right now & very proud of the person you have become. Take care of yourself as best you can. Love, Mary

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need day 18

Hi DoggieGirl: You must have been writing your post when I was writing mine. I didn't want you to feel left out in my greeting. I loved your pony poop story. It's all about attitude. Have a great day. Mary

[Guest]

Newbies in Need day 18

Hi garden girl,
Glad to see you back and determined to start again.........of course you can do this.

I haven`t been on the boards much the last couple of days as my teenage daughter has been ill and I have been extremely worried about her. Thankfully she was examined by an eye specialist yesterday and it looks as if her frightening symptoms are likely to be caused by migraine. I just kind of `disappeared` from M.W.O. for a few days due to the worry.

Well, have really just popped in to say my official Goodbye to my daily posting in the Newbies In Need thread, and to wish each and every one of you all the love and luck in the world. I also wish to thank all you all for your unwavering support of me as I attempted to get my drinking under control. I have moved on in my journey, and feel that alcohol is no longer such a big deal in my life..............I feel that I am able to enjoy a drink or two now without it controlling me. I truly believe that asking God to help me has led me to my current state of mind, where I can drink moderately for no other reason than that moderately is how I wish to drink. I will never lose sight of how easily it is to slip back........I just know within myself that I am never going there again.

I thank you all for helping me through some of my darkest moments.

Mary, I am so deeply proud of you.........I must have wanted that AF week for you as much as you wanted it for yourself. I think taking a more analytical look at our lives can pay remarkable dividends........as this has caused you to make magnificent headway.........I just know you will get well Mary...........you so deserve to. I have enormous respect for you.

Louise, am really pleased that you got your much-desired camper van. Great to hear you enjoyed your visit to see your grandniece.........so you didn`t get many AF days in, but am sure you shall now that you are back on terra firma.

Kitty.........30 days makes you a true Star.......am whooping for you.

Lilaclover, thanks for all your loving support.......I wish you well.

Cindi, great to hear you`re so upbeat and joining us all in Monthly Mods.

Doggygirl, am pleased for you with your 7 AF days....keep it up.

Good luck to all the new `faces` here also.

To all I`ve gotten to know well here..............look forward to seeing you around the boards.

NEWBIES IN NEED ROCKS!!!!!

All my love,

Starlight Impress

[Guest]

Newbies in Need day 18

Especially for Janice...........

Janice, I send you special love and pray you find life just a little easier as each day passes.
You`ll get on top of your drinking again.........you`ve got guts.

Starlight Impress

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need day 18

Starlight, I am so happy for you that you now have a diagnosis for your daughter, and hopefully the migraines can be brought under control and the frightening symptoms will disappear. You must be relieved to at least know what's wrong. Not knowing is brutal.

Congratulations on reaching a point where you truly know that your life is changed, that you just know in your heart you will never go back, and you can just concentrate on your bright future. I have loved reading your posts and have taken inspiration from so many of them. I will look forward to your future posts, even though they might not be as frequent, and will surely reflect this new place where you are.

Thank you and best wishes to you in all things, and also your daughter!

DG
Day 8 AF********

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need day 18

HI MARY!!!

Once again I just love the way you share your self discovery process. I have the book you mentioned, but have not cracked it open yet. LOL - shoulda bought some Amazon stock right before my "searching" began. I definitely contributed to their Q2 profits!! Sounds very interesting. The tip that you mentioned - triggers v. cravings, and how to deal with cravings by understanding how long they last and waiting them out - is a quit smoking technique as well. I'm amazed by how many techniques truly do apply to the giving up of both vices.

You sound like you are doing great and I love your posts!!! Have a wonderful day Mary. I'm gonna move that book up higher on my "to read" list.

DG
Day 8 AF********

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need day 18

Starlight: You are the light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck in all that you do! Many thanks for your kind words about me. I am trying so hard & really seeing the pay-off. Thank you very much, Mary

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need day 18

Hi all,

Nice to see you back GG. And Janice I think it is really lovely planting your dad's flower's.

Hope you all have a good day.

Kitty

[AJAH]

Newbies in Need day 18

Know what? Being new to a thread...when I opened up the thread I saw Garden Girls' photo and I almost spit out my coffee laughing. The visual just made me crack up. I don't know where folks find some of their photos but darn it they are too funny! Me, I'm such a boring chicky I don't even know where to find one! Please also forgive me as my head is spinning with new people coming and other people going... I'm not the best with names and faces when I meet people in person that gosh darn it I'm worse on cyber sites. Please never get offended if I forget to mention your name. I think everyone that takes time to post is important and shares invaluable information. I have limited time to post so I just flicker in and out but that doesn't mean that I don't think what you say or share is any less important and I don't want to express my feelings to you individually. I guess I wanted to get that off my chest because I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings.

But going back to you Garden Girl since you started today's thread...I can relate...I too have girls and a husband that I have come to dissapoint that has lead me to be here. My girls are 13 and 11, old enough to now know what mom does and what it is called. We are in the same boat only the ocean seperates us.