Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

[Sweet Cheeks]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi everyone

Cindi - I'm with you all the way - I really understand where you're coming from and like you, I feel that this disease is consuming me too. Sorry to hear you're sounding so low. Hope you have a better day today.

My GP said that I couldn't do it alone and I think she's right. I'm going to give myself a week on the supps and if I'm still spiralling I'll call the organisation she has told me about. Like most people on this site, we all know what we SHOULD be doing, but our brains don't seem to register.

I hope you don't mind me joining this thread but I've been trying to read it several times with interest from the start of your journeys and I'm glad to read that apart from the usual ups and downs, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

I agree with you Amelia when you say about how your drinking is affecting relationships. When I drink I clearly adopt the "couldn't care less attitude", which really isn't a good place to be. Most of the time I can't remember what I've said anyway which has landed me in quite a bit of hot water of late. It will be so nice to actually remember what was on TV before you went to bed and wake up feeling refreshed rather than hung over. I hope that just the thought of that will give me the kick I need to turn the corner.

Wakupmom - I've been taking Kudzu and started detox liver and GI tablets a month or so ago (I took them for 2 weeks) and my urine went a weird shade of green. I was told by my a friend who is into herbal alternatives that this is normal. If you let me know exactly what you took I can certainly find out for you if you'd like me to.

Keep up the good work
Sweet

[prose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello everyone,

was just reading with interest the last 2 posts, this weekend i came to the conclusion that moderation may be a goal in the future but what i need to really be doing is to stop all together, so here goes day one(again). hope you are all well! p
ps-welcome to db2fromala and Sweet Cheeks! I look forward to hearing more about your journey

[SK8RGRL]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

hi! Max here!! I am sorry I disapeared into the abyss but i havent been doing so well. didnt think i could still post on this site cus I not been AF. I did my 6 days, hell upto an including day 5 and then what did I do on day 6?? yeah, I drank again. back to my usual bottle red every night. stupid stupid stupid. now I think that every time I try , it gets harder to do. I keep wakin up in the mornin full of determination an then by 5 oclock i think Damn it! I want it so i'll have it. DB2, yr post was very emotional and honest. thanx for postin it. you said what alot of us feel. Amelia, I love you hun. should we start a new thread Day 1 again?? Love to everyone else too, you are all special xxx :h

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello All, hope everyone is doing ok.....rushing off to work and will check in later
xx

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi All from Spain
Just had chance to check in. I?ve been so far successful in moderating! I actually feel so relaxed now (apart from when the kids get gripey) that I feel like one less. I have had a glass or two most nights, but not got hideously drunk, and even the kids remarked that I haven?t had my usual ??gazillion?? glasses!!! It took a long time to wind down though, at first I was so tightly wound up. I just know I won`t cope with them all the next day....
Wakeupmom, glad you brought up the toilet subject, only taking milk thistle and vits and my wee is bright yellow! So it must be the herbs! Have not had chance to read everyone story but hope all is well with you all and speak soon! Love LR

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hey Lily Rose, so nice to see a message from you,...from Spain,...wish I was there!
Glad to hear that you are having a fab time and moderating very well by the sounds of it.
Well done to you!!! Looking forward to catching up.

Hey Maxine, I didn't think you had disapeared!! I have been reading your messages elsewhere on the site. It sounds like you are making progress!! I think the most important thing is for everyone to keep themselves on the boards and posting for the support!
You sound like you are really taking on board everything that you have come across on this site. Well done.

Prose, like you say, looking back and wondering what life could have been like without alcohol is very provocative. But I have done that many times and most of the time I end up beating myself about how I could have done things better. Now, if I allow myself a daydream (apart from looking back and learning), I imagine the things (good things) that I want for myself,....and imagine doing them

Sweet Cheeks, so nice to see you posting here!! OMG!!! I know exactly what you mean about adopting the "couldn't care less attitude", I do that all the time.....I actually find myself in situations that I feel uncomfortable in and hear myself saying "I dont care" in my head.....how shit is that??

Dear db2fromala. When I am drinking and not AF, alcohol consumes most of my waking moments, my sleeping moments, my unconsciousness and my entire existence. It also consumes each and every single piece of my being. I totally know what you mean. I do AF time and don't really think about drinking - the occasional thought, but once I pick up again, OMG, I am off at full flight.

Wakeupmom!! Sorry it's been such a long time between you posting and my reply.
A day sailing and cycling with your son sounds amazing!!
Yeah, I am with you about the All One powder,.....not nice at all. Some mornings I feel like chucking it back up.
Haven't seen a post from you on this thread for over a week, so really hope all is going well for you,...

Planet Janet, Poppy and Tahlula, hope everything is going well for you too!!

I am off on holiday for a week will be back on the 26th!! Best wishes for you all!!

xxxx

[wakupmom]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello Prose,Pinklady,Max,Amelia,Lilly rose,and all,
I have only got back to normal-if there is such a thing,after holidays,the back to work,ect that follows.I understand that a few of us have been away.It takes such a lot of time to catch up.I am still here though and i hope you are all too.Please send a line so i know you are ok
Love and Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

BACK FROM SPAIN

Hi!
I'm back! Where is everyone???? No posts here since 20th? Are you all ok?
Me, well, lost that compulsion to drink when away. Still can't explain it. I realised a lot of it came from my hubby who wanted to drink and I would just 'keep him company'. I was so sensible (apart from one night but didn't go overboard like usual). Since coming home, I've got that feeling back again. I didn't even take the supps in Spain. Now (and I have PMT) I want to drink to excess again. Not sure why I didn;t when I was away!
Let me know your new everyone. Hope you all ok.
Love LR xxxx

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hey Lily Rose, yep I am still here!!! I have literall6y just got back from Heathrow (a week in Zermatt - Swiss Alps) and I agree with you,......where is everyone??

Well done on your holiday mods!! PMT time usually equates with me wanting to drink more too, I think it's just something to do with hormones and emotions etc.

I had a fabulous time on holiday. Zermatt is outrageously beautiful. It is a town in surrounded by Alpine snow-covered peaks with an amazing view of the Matterhorn. We did lots of mountain trekking, relaxing, eating gorgeous food etc etc.
It was spectacular. I did drink, but like you felt none of the usual compulsion that I have when home here in the UK with the stresses and strains of my life.

I will have to re-assess where I am with all that now and see how I want to deal with it.

Hello everyone else,......where are you all and like Lily Rose, I would love to hear your news.

xxx

[wakupmom]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi guys!So glad to see you had posted.I missed you.
Amelia,Your holiday sounded fantastic,i have been to Zermatt too and can agree on how beautifull it is.Did you go to the top of Matterhorn?I did and the effect from the altitude was strange.Well done on your moderation whilst you were away.It certainly makes you feel different when the day to day stresses are removed.Welcome back and keep posting.xx
Lilly rose,welcome home too.so pleased you had a relaxing time and the progress you made.Hope the pmt passes and you don't suffer too much from the post holiday blues.I didn't go away for a long spell, but i know the weekend before returning to work i felt low.Back to normal for me now.Keep up the good work xx
I am ok, could be better.Stringing some A/F days together then not.
I don't know where everyone went either.Hols maybe?Just hope all is well.Any way please stay close xx

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hey Wakeupmom!! Great to see a post from you too!! Yes Zermatt is amazing. We didn't climb the Matterhorn itself, but we did take the cable cars up to Matterhorn Klein (a viewing platform almost opposite the Matterhorn!) it was way below zero and just being up there for half an hour or so, we felt frozen. It was a clear blue day and it still felt like a snow blizzard up there!
We caught the cable car back down to Trockener Steg and trekked back from there through the steep snow covered mountains. Gorgeous!! We saw Ibex (the long horn mountain goats) and Marmots (those giant squirrel like burrowing animals).
We also went up to most of the other ski stations - Gornergrat and Sunnega Paradise.
Didn't ski, but may go back in January and give it a go (after copious amounts of lessons:H ) Food was great too,...the most succulent lamb with traditional Rosti,.....arrrgggh, get me back there now!!

Great to hear that you are stringing some AF days in between mods days!! I have not been doing that but would really like to.
You sound slightly disappointed about where you are with that?? Are you still wanting to be AF full stop? Keep us posted.

Again, hello to everyone else, Prose, Poppy, Tahlula, Sweet Cheeks, Lily Rose (as I said above), Maxine, Planet Janet, db2fromala and all others - let us know how you are

xx

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi Amelia and Wakeupmom
Wow Amelia, your holiday sounds amazing. I've never experienced that part of the world. When the younger two are older, I would love to take them and go skiing (another thing I have never done).

Glad you got away too Wakeup, I now realise how much I need an annual (if not more!) break.

I am back on day 1 tomorrow. At least I know my downfalls now. Yes, the PMT got the better of me. I drank a lot last night, we had friends for BBQ but I had to carry on after they were gone. First time I fell asleep and had memory loss for over 3 weeks. I feel really pissed off with myself, and spent the day getting nothing done and feeling guilty. I say to myself 'WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF' - I feel like shit, I'm bloated, putting on weight fast, my personality changes when I drink, I feel like being drunk represents an abandonment of my motherly responsibilities (well, I know I'm only human, but what if the kids got ill, and I was drunk???!!!) The thing I hate most, is that I'm just not consistent. One day my resolve is soooo strong, and nothing could nudge me into drinking, and I feel positive, and the other I'm drinking too get drunk. I think that IS what I do, I don't just drink to taste, I want that feeling of release, and my tolerance is going up so I am knocking it back. God, it's a hard place to be, especially when you know it's all self inflicted and there are people battling with terminal illnesses. When I don't drink I am so much more sensible, everything seems to fall into place. I'm better with money, more organised with the kids etc. Does anyone else seem to overspend and overeat on a hangover day???

Well, the ramblings of a truely mad woman eh? But I'm going to sign off and get some shut eye now, got an early start and it's a whole new day and future for me tomorrow. Forget trying to mod - even if I do it for 3 weeks, then fall off, it's not going to work for me is it!?

BTW, did it take ages to get ALLONE powder? I ordered mine 3 weeks ago and it's still not come.....

Night night and hope you all ok out there - prose, sante etc. I miss you guys!!! LRx

[planetjanet]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Uh Oh Fell Off The Wagon

Hi Guys & Gals,

It's been about 14 days since I last signed on and well we all can take a guess of what the reason is...... Yep, yep, I DRANK and boy oh boy was it hell, being as I am WAY too embarrassed of sharing the "sloppy" details for awhile and might not. Too embarrassing and humiliating. What's important is I KNOW the story and that's why I decided that it needed to be STOPPED!!!!

However, some good did come out of it and they are the following:

1) I came back to MWO and will be posting my AF Day Count and messages.

2) I am TRYING to really not allow myself to feel bad for the events that occurred while I was drinking because we all know where that leads to. That's not to say that I don't feel bad, it's just not like at a higher level as before, which would spiral me down to continue to drink.

and.......

3) My boyfriend(who also has an issue with drink) decided to join with me in being AF, this is actually the least of reasons but still it is nice to have you and your partner support each other

I could use some words of support and if anyone would like to join me for a AF Count, that would be great. Going to bed and will post tomorrow.

Thanks,
Janet
AF Day Count 1

P.S. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK :h

P.S.S. I figured that I would post this message in all forums, being as it will be nice to get support from as many people as possible.

[wakupmom]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi Chaps,
So glad you are still with us.
Lillyrose,Planet i can so relate.Where does it come from,the nature of the BEAST i suppose.However i still thnk we are making progress.Its just a matter of regaining that mind set.I do think its better to have a few people on board to spur each other on.I know i can not moderate,but just seem to find myself at the same point after a few days A/F.Yes i am ok, i don't have a problem.I am normal.Like you i struggle with the whats wrong with me.There are people out there dying,tryng so hard to live everday to its optimum, and i am throwing it away.Maybe we have a disease larger than life.On a positive note we are still here.Difficult sometimes when we feel so inadequate-but we are still here, and here we shall stay.We need each other regardless of our failings.So come on lets get back on that horse and clock up some A/F days together.Sending big hugs xxxxx
Hi Amelia,Hows you doing ?Good i hope
Also to all the others.Sweet,db,Prose,Pink, Poppy, Tahula,newbes welcome and oldies too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi All
Day 2 today. Still feel like shit. Hope you are all ok

LRx