Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi Amelia

Thanks for replying. So how were they bad before? My liver function was normal but my iron and white blood count was low. I also seem to have too much phosphorus for my last 2 tests. It's really reassuring to know you can see results of looking after your health. How did your test reveal low Vit B? (assuming the test is the same as mine in UK....). Hope you don't think i'm being too nosey, but I am paranoid about it at the moment....

[prose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello Lily Rose,
I like the idea about a list, I don't know if i can bring myself to do it right now, the guilt and shame sets in and is almost unbearable, and i feel like so much of my past has been a waste, in fact sometimes it seems if i keep going along this path it somehow justifies the past, in other words if i stop then i have to view the past as such a huge waste, I know it doesn't make sense but that is my reasoning sometimes,
any tips out there for getting over the guilt and moving on? i seem to be stuck there, even if i do have a couple of af days it makes the a-full ones seem even more horrible,
p

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Prose, I know exactly what you mean, but I think writing down those bad things would be a massive step in facing your (and mine) demons. Rather than burying them deep so we can't reach them, and therefore cannot fathom our motivations or our thinking. What we are doing by continuing to drink because we've feel we have failed is called 'giving up'. We need to understand that we are only human, not just a mother or wife or friend or work colleague but HUMAN with different pasts and different feelings. You have the rest of your life out there in front of you which could be a vastly different life to the one you have lived. You can learn from your experiences and of course the guilt and shame won't just disappear but in time it will lessen and we will learn to like or dare I say even love ourselves again. Please believe me that you are worth it. Living on regret is more of the poison than the alcohol at times. Really dig deep. Write yourself some letters or even start a blog or diary and start to write about your feelings so that you can read over them and things may slowly start to take shape. I'm good at giving advice, if only I could take it!
Love and best wishes to you.....LR:h

[poppy]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

My hubby is outside having drink - so no chance of us resolving anything tonight. I think I might tell him what Im doing after all, cos although tonight I dont fancy a drink I know that maybe tomorrow I will and I need his support. Its a dilemma really because at the same time getting a couple of weeks AF first woud be nice so that I can feel strong in myself that I can really follow it through. He's not the greatest encourager in the world , pretty critical in nature actually and I dont want to feel under pressure

LilyRose and Prose - how did you get the blood tests organised - through your GP ? It would be nice to be able to actually see a physical improvement - I know my liver aches a lot of the time...

:h

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Poppy, don't take any criticism! You've got enough to deal with. I organised them by going to the doctors for dizziness. I knew they would order the tests and I also knew why I felt dizzy......

[BeanoC]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi everyone. Amelia suggested I come here and post, so here I am!

I am merely on day 2 AF, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!:thumbsup

I haven't read this entire thread, so I apologize that I don't know everyone's story, but I'm sure I'll get caught up. You can read my thread as well if you like.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...mer-13277.html

Amelia mentioned I might have some helpful input here from "the male point of view", and I'd be happy to do whatever I can.

'Beano'

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hey Beano, good to see you here! There are a couple of girls from the states, one from Australia, a couple from the UK including me (although I am originally from New Zealand), so we have all sorts of time zones going on etc which is kinda fun.
Its nearly 10pm for me now so I have survived another day AF. Hope your day is going smoothly!! Good to have you posting here.

[prose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

thanks Lily Rose
i have read twice through what you wrote, i really appreciate your wisdom, I spend so much time looking back and know i need to look forward, or even just at now, because that is really all we have.
i have to head out here soon, sante and wakeupmom, i will check in later tonight and see how we all did, best of luck to everyone, thanks again Lily Rose!!!!!!
p

[wakupmom]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Evening all you lovely people.Amelia,Sante,Poppy,Prose,Bean,Lilyrose,and anyone else i might have forgotten.
I too need to come to terms with the wasted life.Theres a point where it all changes and feels different -like theres no engoyment from drinking.That innocent glass of wine becomes a bottle then more and it just feels sinister.You know it shouldn't happen,but you have no control.It becomes an anaesthetic,something to blot out the pain/guilt/shame and the lack of selfworth.Evertime we do it apart from completely messing up our bodies chemistry we reinforce the habbit.On you go a VICIOUSE circle.I am of mind at the moment that maybe you need to get that low to really want to change.Its Bl....y hard a lesson and it takes a lot to get there but get there we will.
I can't bring myself to go to my GP though so i commend you all for that.It terrifies me what a mess i must be in inside.The longer you abuse alcohol the worse it makes you feel..So lets try to regain equilibrium.Get to a place when we can deal with life naturaly.Face stress,dissapointment,hurt,insults,celebrations,ac hievements without a drink in hand then move on.Some of the guys on here sound like the most intuitive,compassionate,caring i 've known.I spoke to a lady from AA today and she was lovely,and so are you. Must get to bed .Time just runs away on here!Sleep tight cu tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxx

[BeanoC]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Amelia wrote: Hope your day is going smoothly!! Good to have you posting here.

Thanks. Today was a nice, busy day at work.When I keep busy, I'm not as likely to think about drinking. Of course, it's only day 2 AF for me, which isn't all that unusual... the true test for me will be to get as far as 8, 9 days. Then I'll feel like I've accomplished something! The goal I have in mind for myself right now is to go the month of August without a drink. That's gonna be tough. If I can do that, then I will have proven something to myself and maybe there's hope for a moderation lifestyle for me. However, if I go the entire month and don't drink, and then reward myself with a cold beer, if I end up getting smashed and drinking way too many, then it's back to square one, and the reality that I have to quit PERMANENTLY. Wish me luck...

[LilyRose]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

HI all and welcome Beano. Hope we all get through one day at a time. Day 3 for me tomorrow. I feel different somehow. Like Wakeupmom said, maybe we have hit that low to want to make the change. Good luck for tmrw and I'll check in around my witching hour. Good night and god bless......

[PinkLady]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hi new friends!

I am on Day 1 today, and hopeful that I can make it through this week since I have my liver bloodwork on Saturday. I was scared to go to my GP, but finally realized that I might need a kick in the pants to get well. So, I scheduled the appointment to finally KNOW if I have royally screwed up my liver or not. (Yes, I used to try to convince myself that what I didn't know couldn't hurt me ---what an idiot!)

I would love to say that I am committed to make a full 30 days right now, but basically, I really want to control my drinking so that when I visit my father's vineyard in Napa next week, I can handle the fact that I have to stop at 1 or 2 glasses. I was feeling so nervous about it and found myself plotting and planning to sneak it! Wow! What an addict!

So, here's to Day 1! If I only have a couple of drinks a few times on vacation, do I really have to start all over at Day 1??? :H No matter what, I am determined to make excessive drinking a thing of the past for the entire month!

Have a great evening!

[BeanoC]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

PinkLady - Wow, your dad has a vineyard in Napa? That has to be a strong temptation!

So I guess you're out in my neck of the woods sometimes huh?

I am trying not to get too hung up on the "starting over" thing, should we give in and have a drink or 2 only, because I don't want to beat myself up over it and feel like I failed after 10, 20, 30 days or whatever. I mean, if I DO drink, but have only 1 or 2 beers and no more, then I really haven't failed!

Hang in there. We can do this together.

[Tahlula]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello Lovelees!! Welcome to all our newbies, I am so glad I started this thread - one week today!! OMG Day 8 Already & I am feeling great!

Have to dash, will get back later, you are all probably still sleeping!!

Love Tah xxxxx

[AMELIA]

Need some buddies - Day 1 today 24th July

Hello Ladies and Beano!! (yes we have a man on the thread!!)
I am having to dash out to work but will check in later when I get back.
Hope you all have a great day.
x