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    #1

    Big box of booze!

    Yesterday was weird. My partner printed my book for me and then forgot it at work. Instead arrives home with a big box of booze! Now, this wasn't on purpose and I don't think she even thought about it as deeply as i obviously did! It felt like some kind of sick joke, expecting a book on dealing with drinking and then seeing a big box of alcohol! Someone at work is moving and so gave her his booze. Thankfully not too much I'm interested in but still. I WAS NOT IMPRESSED! I took it as a challenge and fought the urge to go and look if there was anything I would like. God knows I was hanging for a drink!

    WELL DONE ME! I resisted. We gave most of it away to our old housemate and kept a few things that my partner likes.

    I still worry about our relationship and drinking, she drinks everyday but seems to have control of her life, goes to work, gets it done.

    Day 1 done and hoping for 5 (small steps- we don't want to scare ourselves now!)

    Hey guys. Still wonder if I'm in the right place. Most people on this site seem to be "secret drinkers" who keep their jobs and lives "seemingly under control". Most people I know know that I have a problem and I certainly don't hide my drinking away. Any thoughts on this? I just really can't do AA.
    Full is not nearly as heavy as empty, my love...
    Not nearly. -Fiona Apple-
    Tags: None
    #2
    Big box of booze!

    Hi,

    My husband knew I was a drinker ++, but other people didn't. I functioned when drinking, so it doesn't mean your girlsfriend doesn't have a problem. Even if her problem is 'not thinking' about how you would feel, seeing all that booze when she knows you're trying to give up. Does she want you to give up? Maybe she likes you drinking 'cos it makes her drinking ok too?

    i hope you manage 5 days, i did it in small stages too, it is better that way, I joined 30 day thread 2 months ago forsupport, but tried to achieve day by day.

    Good luck in going af.

    Diamond x
    I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
    I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

    Marilyn Monroe

    Comment

      #3
      Big box of booze!

      Hi Deilight
      :welcome:
      Well done for resisting the Big Box of Booze!! It does seem unhelpful that it should have existed in the first place, though, maybe there's still some talking to do as to what level of support your partner could offer you, it shouldn't be too much of a hardship for a drinker to abstain for just a week or two in sympathy? If it is, maybe they have a problem too?

      I've just got through 7 days of the program and have had one botle of wine in total rather than one (at least) a night, proof that this can work- nothing else has done for me...Frustrated that I'm itching allover at the moment either to alc. withdrawal or topa but at least i'm not boozing...

      My partner complained about my drinking, (although it was ok for him to do it) but ironically when I got sober (and pregnant), he left me for someone else!! I began drinking again when my baby was a few Months old but now she's crawling and i's time for me to be a proper Mum.

      Don't let other drinkers sabotage your efforts, wittingly or unwittingly. My Mother complained that I had consumed too much wine at at a family meal even though she kept topping up my glass and wouldn't take no for an answer. When I explained recently that I was cutting back on my drinking she helpfully insisted that I take a bottle of home-made wine back with me!

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        #4
        Big box of booze!

        Hi Deilight,
        I think it`s really difficult to have alcohol around when trying to abstain. It`s a whole lot easier when you can keep booze out of the house........unfortunately not everyone has that option due to family composition. However, if a partner really loves you, then I think the least they can do by way of support is to only bring home a type of alcohol they know you don`t like and would never touch.

        It`s a tough one, but one which shall remain with us always, as even when we get our drinking under control, or even completely out of our lives, we find as we go about our daily business, that alcohol is all around.............

        Miss C..............good for you in getting sober for your little one.................as for your ex.!!!, well, let`s just say you were too good for him..........you`re well rid of such a tosser!!!

        Much love,

        Starlight Impress

        Comment

          #5
          Big box of booze!

          Hi Deilight. Congratulations on making the choices you WANTED to make, despite the arrival of the Box O' Booze. One step at a time!

          I personally don't think the "right place" to get support for stopping the madness is determined by whether our problems are "secret" or not. LOL - for me, I'm sure my problem was not quite as "secret" as I had hoped anyway. I think it's about acknowledging a problem, and wanting to solve it. And checking out this program to see if you think it's a good fit for YOU.

          LOL - of the handful of people in my regular life that I have told I quit drinking, not ONE of them has said "geez, you don't drink that much, do you??" And I doubt anyone that I care enough about (as in friendship) to tell will say that. So much for sekwets!

          Congratulations on Day 1 AF, and I hope you have a totally ROCKIN' AF day today.

          DG
          Day 14 AF - WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

          One day at a time.

          Comment

            #6
            Big box of booze!

            Dear Deilight: I was a secret drinker who functioned fine to the outside world. Within myself, I was wracked w/guilt & didn't feel well most of the time. As DoggieGirl said, probably most people sensed a problem in us "secret" drinkers. I'm just beginning day 15, but for quite a while, I didn't want to reveal any kind of a "count." I took my abstinence one day at a time (& still do). Temptations & triggers are all around us. I think they'll lose their power over time. I do not keep alcohol in the house (I'd drink it even if I didn't like it...except beer...that's not for me). I don't have a problem w/people refilling my glass or saying, "come on, just have a few." I usually say that I feel a headache or hot flash coming on. Do what you have to do & say what you have to say. Good luck, Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

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              #7
              Big box of booze!

              Hot flash? LOL Mary, great excuse.

              Don't think it will work for all of us though..

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                #8
                Big box of booze!

                Mary, How Funny!!

                We think alike!!

                I did the same thing last week in St. Louis.

                A guy at the bar tried to buy me a drink. I had had my one glass of vino and was happily drinking my iced tea and eating my dinner. He sat down and very gallantly (I might add) offered to buy me a glass of wine.

                I picked up the menu, fanned myself, and said "No thank you, just can't handle it!!" Killed two birds with one stone, if you know what I mean. :H

                Cindi
                AF April 9, 2016

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                  #9
                  Big box of booze!

                  Cindi: I do know what you mean you foxy lady! Good for you. Mary
                  Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                  October 3, 2012

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Big box of booze!

                    Hee hee - good thinkin Cindi!

                    DG
                    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                    One day at a time.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Big box of booze!

                      I would be mad if I asked Joe to bring home something to help me stop drinking and he brought home a box of booze AND NOT the book! I wonder if your gf feels threatened by the thought of you quitting booze and her not having a fellow drinker around?

                      Anyway what to go on resisting!:goodjob:

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                        #12
                        Big box of booze!

                        Congratulations to you... Does your other half like/ not like you drinking???
                        Good job!:goodjob:

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