Newbies in Need Day 24

[garden girl]

Forgive me for starting this thread this morning but I am so low. I have been avoiding this forum because all you guys seem to be doing so well and I just cannot seem to get to grips with stopping drinking. The day after ive drunk I am so determined and then after 2 days af I just give in. I also have got alot worse this past two months because I really want to stop but dont seem able too. I havent read the book or got any supps so I know I have to start there. However I am so frightened of how anxious I will become when I stop as I had a Breakdown a couple of years ago and I am so frigtened of falling apart again. I just want to feel normal and in control of this drinking and I dont want to have to wait a few months for that. I am falling apart inside and trying to hold it all together for the family. My head feels all over the place. I jst got a job offer in a school to start in september and if I dont get this sorted I will have to say no to the job. My daughters especially the eldest are becoming more affected and last night and friday night my daughter actually poured the bottle of wine or what was left of it down the sink. I drink at lest two or three times a week, normally a bottle and a half of wine at atime. Idrink really quick on an empty stomach I drink quick because I am so ashamed of myself. I cannot take any medication because my body is super sensitive and I have really bad reactions in the past. I just want to know how badly people ahve been affected by stopping especially if they have underlying anxiety. I just want to come on this thread and say YES 7 DAYS AF and then I will feel so much more positive. So here is day one and Iwill log in tomrrow or later.Well done reteacher and Roxanne good to see you still around Hello to everyone else and thanks for listening.:h

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need Day 24

Hi Garden Girl. You sound down and frightened, and I hope we can help you take a positive step. I really encourage you to download and read the book. I think that could be a step towards reducing the "fear of the unkown."

Hey - it sounds like you are able to get a couple of AF days going in between drinking days. That's something I struggled to do, and just wasn't able to do for whatever reason until I started the MWO program. I can relate to those feelings of waking up, promising myself I wouldn't drink today, and that promise flying out the window by "Noon Somewhere."

Maybe it will work, and maybe it won't. But for me, the key is in a multiple part approach which (for me) includes the full regimen of supplements, the CD's, now some exercise, and of course this wonderul discussion community. I really do think years of drinking take their toll on our bodies, and that putting back the nutrients we've been missing, or depleting with booze really helps. For me, the hypnosis CD's have become a very important part of my ability to say "no" to thoughts of drinking, and very importantly, to stay as positive as possible.

Hope this helps. I hope reading the book gives you some comfort that you CAN solve this problem.

Hugs,
DG
Day 14 AF which is un.frickin.believeable! WE CAN DO THIS!

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need Day 24

Dear GG: We must have started the "newbie in need" thread at the same time...sorry. Anyhow, I joined MWO in April, & just like you could barely put 2 - 3 AF days together. Suddenly on July 10th, I decided "That's it!" I stopped, & it's been 14 whole days. If you look at my "newbies in need" thread you'll see my & others' benefits of not drinking. That may help. In the beginning, I took it one day at a time. I didn't set any kind of a long-term goal. It just seemed too impossible. Good luck, Mary

[Cinders]

Newbies in Need Day 24

Little Steps

GG,

I agree with Mary. Some people jump right in and do 30 days AF right off the bat and kudos to them.

Some of us have to take little tiny baby steps before we make any progress. That is me. It took over a month before I felt any progress was being made.

However, here I am, weeks off of being drunk once, still moderating (hoping for AF someday but heck doin' great!) and feeling wonderful!! No waking up wondering what I did, no feeling down on myself and no regrets.

Take it one day at a time and best of luck.

Cindi

[nancy]

Newbies in Need Day 24

Hi Garden Girl

Don't feel that just because others are doing well that you should stay away. I think the whole point is that we support each other at the different stages we are in.

i think you should come often and try to write down your feelings. I think the community here is wonderful,but I also think that by writing down goals and thoughts about why we are having problems does some good. It's like journaling in public.

Why can't you take medication? Does this mean you cannot take any medication? so do you mean to say you can't take medication for underlying anxiety either? you may be worried anxiety will come back but the drinking is probably exacerbating the anxiety, not helping it.

you say your body is super sensitive that you can't takemeds. So your body can handle all that booze but not meds? I think you need to talk to a doctor about this.

The hypno CDs are good for relaxation. Also, talking to yourself reassuringly is good for anxiety. Decide here and now that you are on your own side. You have a problem, an illness, and you want to do something about it. be your own personal nurse!

Also, have you looked at your whole diet to see if it is optimized for moods? Alcoholics are often depleted of nutrients needed for good brain functioning. Even if you are continuing to drink you should take good nutritional supplements, eat healthy foods and drink a lot of water.

Furthermore, you could look into programs in your area. If you don't like AA, are there any harm reduction programs? Have you heard of SMART recovery? that looks interesting. Do some searching on the internet to see what options you have.

It seems hopeless but it isn't. 1 1/2 bottles is very unhealthy for a woman but it could be a lot worse. you need to get this under control for yourself and your kids. You have a new job to look forward to. that's great. Remember, don't look into the future and see gloom, see things that have not happened yet. That's very negative thinking and self-defeatest. There is every reason to believe you won't have another breakdown if you start taking care of yourself today.

also, GG, I am wondering, do you have any support from family members? parents etc?

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need Day 24

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, Iwrote the thread assoon as I got up feeling oh so guilty but I feel alot better now. My biggest hurdle is actually the guilt I feel for being in this position and hurting my family.Nancy thankyou for your imput, I didnt explain too well this morning about medication. Over the past couple of years my doctor has tried various drugs to help me with my anxiety but I always react very badly to them with side effects and I just cannot tolerate them. Iam very wary about taking any medication as since I was a child I have always seemed to react to medications if there are side effects I always get them but yes I agree alcohol is a drug itsself and yes I am sure I have reactions to it,but I am determined I will manage to stop it for as long as necessary to get it in control. My husband is supportive and just wants me to get well.I am doing loads of self help such as deep meditation everyday, exercise everyday, watch what I eat and lots of positive thinking. Its just that when I fail I get so low that I appear totally at rock bottom but I can get myself going again and Im doing that now. Thankyou everyone I will try and remain focussed and get those af days rolling.

:h