Newbies in need - Day 29

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I find that I'm still very hyper-aware of people drinking. Yesterday, we were at our daughter's & son-in-law's home. It was hot & my son-in-law had been doing chores all day. He came inside w/us all & sat down in his comfy chair w/a frosty mug full of his favorite beer. I could see him just savoring it (he really loves his beer). I've had that same feeling taking my first sip of a nice chilled white. I felt my eyes on him from time to time. I hope there comes a time when I won't even notice what & how much people are drinking.

I'm doing fine. I still have the stray thought: "Maybe I'll drink again." However, I know that's not what I can do anymore. I think eventually, the sober lifestyle will become natural to me.

August is filled w/social events that will include drinking. I'm going to make a plan for each one & stick to my plan. I don't know what I'd do wo/MWO. It's been a lifeline.

Take care everyone. Have a wonderful Sunday. Love, Mary

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Good Morning Mary and All to Come,

I didn't post much yesterday. I was so angry (and hungover) with myself that I didn't want to talk much.

I can't seem to grapple with the get off the merry-go-round of staying away from the bottle. I am sick of myself!!

I did stay AF yesterday and am NOT going out today. Just staying home and continuing to work on the remodeling with hubby. That should keep me out of trouble for today at least!!

I invited my parents up to St. Louis with me for the week while I work. I told them I have a drinking problem and need their company. (It was difficult, I really didn't want to worry mom but figured truth is always the best policy.) They are great and loving people and I am hoping their company in the evenings will help keep me away from the hotel bar!!

Mary, you are still doing wonderfully!!

Bashley - Hope you join this thread, too, you have a lot to add here!!

Take care all and be well.

Cindi

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Cindi: One day at a time. You can do it. Today starts my 20th day sober. I feel stronger w/each passing day. The first 3 -5 days were really the most difficult. I thought about drinking all the time. Now it's the occasional thought that flashes across my brain.

I know I can't get complacent. There are probably people here at MWO that slipped after many multiple AF days. I'm an older woman & my body feels so much different w/no poison in it. I'm sure yours would too...especially w/the gastric bypass that you had (which must complicate matters).

You are so brave to share w/your parents your struggle. I know you will succeed. Good luck next week. Mary

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Good Morning Mary and Cindi and everyone to follow.

We are having a good weekend here in Texas. The rain is without end. to build an ark or not...that is the question......
I stayed up until 4 AM watching movies. I never could do that when I was drinking that's for sure. DH thinks he has met a new woman!

Mary, I know what you mean about being hyper aware of others drinking. Yesterday DH and I were watching Food Network and he said "have you noticed that at the end of every show they make a different drink?" and I answered that yes I had noticed, and that a few months before that I would have been trying most of them. Alcohol has truly permeated out society, and I'm not about to become one of those self-righteous ex-drinkers who says it's wrong for everyone but I know it's not right for me anymore. I also have to remind myself that many of the people I look at in a restaurant who hare having wine with dinner are just like I used to be. I can't envy them and say "why can't I be like that and just have one glass with dinner?" Many of them aren't stopping with one or two either.

Fortunately my DH has given up his therapeutic one glass of Red every night for heart and prostate benefits so we don't have it in the house anymore. It has made a huge difference for me to have this support from him.

Cindi the remodeling sounds fun, I love doing that kind of stuff. You should tell us more about it. Stop feeling bad until you think about taking a drink and then feel really bad and don't do it. If you drink beer get some AF beer, same with wine. Funny, but I wont drink the AF stuff because of the calories.....go figure. It's that odd way drinkers' brains are wired. Take some Kudzu and L-glutemine before your normal drinking time and then get busy doing something else. come here and post. You can do this.

Well I'm full of it today. You have a great Sunday.

[Iam]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Cindi,
Don't beat yourself up. You can do it!!!

I don't have the guts to share with anyone live. I am going to have to depend on y'all. The shame goes too deep for me. Maybe when I have a couple months under my belt. I've failed to many times to disappoint others and myself again. At least if I fall off I only have myself to face........... and you guys.

Anyway, I'm fine as long as I have company. It's when they leave that I am going to find it difficult. It's so nice to sit and watch the ships go by with a glass of wine. Only problem is it becomes a whole bottle and sometimes I don't remember climbing the stairs to get into bed. I'm getting too old for this crap.

Mary, I too am getting up there. I just turned 55 and I don't want to be feeling like shit in the am anymore.

IAM...............worthy!

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 29

IAM U R WORTHY

U know,
We need to quit relating ourselves to this addiction, like it "defines" ourselves.

We are much more than this.

My bedroom is being remodeled. Over weekends because that is when I am here. How funny IAM. HEH.

We replaced carpeting with laminate flooring that "looks" like dark "rock" floor. I did it because my hubby has massive chronic allergies and I figure carpeting/cats/dogs don't go together. Well, I won't get rid of the cats or dogs, but I will get rid of the carpets. LOL. So, after the carpets, if that doesn't work, I will get rid of the the husband. Heh. I've only had him for 32 years. Sh*t. I guess I could get rid of the cats.... MAN... LOL


Anyway. I digress.

We are more than this disease. We ARE MUCH MORE THAN THIS DISEASE OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.

We are moms, husbands, wives, moms, dads, grannies, granddads, whatevers. This is a SMALL piece of our lives and yet it CONSUMES us because it AFFECTS ALL ASPECTS of us.

I hope we can all find some better place to go than where we are.

Love to ALL,
Cindi

[bird]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hi all,
1 week for me. I am still thinking about beer almost all the time.I did find my hypno-tape that has been lost for months.Been working around the house some and getting things ready for the kids to start school soon. Sharpened about 200 pencils, got the the desk cleaned up,got their bookbags cleaned out. Been getting kinda weepy about stuff like TV commercials,stuff in books,music.My kids have graduated from taking baths together to seperate showers over the summer. Time goes by so fast.Love to all. bird

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Great job on the 1 week Bird.
Wow you sound melancholy. I wish I could help. If I lived close I'd come get you and we'd go have a fun girl's day out.
Can you drink Odoul's, the non alcohol stuff? does it help?
Are you taking the Kudzu and the L-Glut? I know it's such a struggle. Keep posting.

I'll be thinking of you. You can do this. Please don't give in to the beer, it will only make you feel worse. Stay in touch.

Melissa

[lilaclover]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hi Everyone, As I started reading this thread today I was thinking what a wonderful group of people this is (and this was before I read Cindi's post "We are much more than this." Bird you are doing well. Must be fortuitous that you found that hypnotic CD today. Just another tool to keep you going. Melissa, Mary and Cindi you have come so far since I have joined this site. It is so good and inspirational to see. Thanks for the heads up about Kitty Melissa. I have her in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there IAM, you sound like you are in a lovely spot if you can see ships sailing by. Try baby steps...one at a time. Have a good Monday.