Another newcomer

[BeanoC]

:new: Hi everyone...

It's my first time here so I thought a new thread would be my best way to get started.

At this point I am just hoping for new friends to talk to for support.

My story probably isn't much different from many others here. I have hit rock bottom and don't feel I can recover without help. Yesterday, I had the most vicious hangover imaginable. I couldn't move. I couldn't eat. My head was pounding, but my stomach was so upset that I couldn't keep down aspirin. So, I spent the day in total misery, unable to relax or sleep. I remember thinking to myself "this is the worst hangover I have ever had". Then, I remember thinking "I said that a week ago too!". The scary part is, I think I was right. They are getting worse every time, because I am drinking harder and harder.
My family is worried about me and upset that I have not taken any steps to slow down, much less stop. And I worry that, since the hangovers and consumption do seem to be escalating, I might be flirting with disaster here, like acute alcohol poisoning. One of these times, my wife is going to have to call 9-1-1 to save my sorry butt. So I can't live like this anymore.

I've been drinking beer pretty heavily for a few years now. Close to 10 I'd say. But it has escalated greatly over the past 2 or 3 years, and Saturday night was possibly the most I have ever drank in one day. I opened that first, 'ice cold, delicious beer' about 12:30 Saturday afternoon, and finally stopped drinking about 3:30 A.M. Sunday morning, only stopping for dinner around 6:00 Saturday night. I ate a pretty big meal, which sobered my up somewhat for a while, but I went right back to the beer afterward. Altogether, I had drank 26 beers when I finally stopped to go to sleep. I woke up about 3 hours later feeling like I was on death's door.

I own my own business, and have a great many responsibilities both personally and professionally. I can't continue to let alcohol jeopardize my future or my family's security.
But I know that by mid week, I'll be hitting it again if I don't have some help and support to stop me.

I'd like to think that I can get to a point of moderation, but that might not be realistic. Once I have had 2 or 3 beers, all I want is MORE. If I could learn to control my drinking, it would be nice to still enjoy an occasional one or two. But if not, I need to find the strength to quit entirely. Maybe I am just afraid of the stigma of "the recovering alcoholic". But, it is what it is.

Anyway, that's my story. I could sure use a little support right about now!

Sorry this was so long! Thanks for listening...

[wakupmom]

Another newcomer

Hi BeanoC,Welcome and well done for reaching out.Iam only just trying to find my way out of this mess too,so i am no expert.However like many here have realised that probly i knew i had an alcohol problem for many years constanly on my mind then denial.For me it got progressivly worse.Thats the nature of the beast it eventually takes all,you either let it or you fight.You have come to a good place,and i know you will get some great greetings with lots of non-judgemental advice.Chin up and look forward to seeing you around!!

[i'lltrythis]

Another newcomer

I'm new here too...

:new: I'm glad that you started this thread BeanoC. I'll be without a drink two weeks this Thursday and found myself here due to curiosity about usefull supports.

I've been drinking off and on heavily for twenty years.

I'm going to read around the group's site here during the course of the day.

Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible,

i'lltrythis

[SK8RGRL]

Another newcomer

Welcome Beano! Glad you found this place. I too dont have an off switch and start thinking I will have just 1 or 2, but by then its too late and ive drank everythin in the house that there is to drink. whilst being here ive only ever managed 2 days AF but with perserverance i have actually managed a week! It takes time and many attemps but if you keep coming here it gradually hits your subconciousness and it starts to have an effect. Anyway a BIG WELCOLME BEANO xxx

[BeanoC]

Another newcomer

maxineann1 wrote: Anyway a BIG WELCOLME BEANO

Thanks for that. Now let's see how long I can keep on track... this is day 2.

A few months ago, I went 9 days without a drink and felt really great, but when I fell off again, I fell hard! So my immediate goal at this point is simply to go longer than that. But in the long run, I have to do alot more because as I said, when I fall I fall hard. I don't ever want another hangover like the one I had yesterday!! That was pure hell. Worse than any flu I've ever had I think. And that's why I come here for support - y'all understand!
My wife just says "you dummy, you knew how it was gonna make you feel. You should know better." She doesn't seem to understand that it's an addiction. It's not like I think to myself "Well, I am gonna feel like crap tomorrow, but I think I'll get smashed anyway". We just drink because we have an alcohol addiction. Anyway, I don't want to start rambling again!

Thanks for all the kind words... keep 'em coming! :thanks:

[Popeye]

Another newcomer

Hi BeanoC and i'lltrythis.:welcome:
This is a great place.
Lots of support and helpful advice.
I love it here.

[AMELIA]

Another newcomer

Hey BeanoC:welcome:

Great to see you that you have already had 1AF day and are looking down the barrel of day 2!!

Sounds like you might be stressed out or something and using the booze to chill and then you end up getting carried away?? You own your own business, and have a great many responsibilities both personally and professionally,........perhaps everything has gradually got a little too much or you can't find other ways to let off steam,...or the pressure of the whole situation is too much?

I don't know, but I work for myself and I have had to start dealing with these sorts of issues in order to gain some control over my drinking.

Anyway, whether that relates to you Bean or not, who knows,....food for thought though!!

There is a thread in Starting Out with half a dozen or so people beginning 30days AF, ( Need some Buddies - Day 1 24th July) feel free to join in if you want, AF days are ranging from 1 to 7 so there isn't much difference between us! (and we could do with some male input!!).

Take care Beano and looking forward to seeing you around.

[Doggygirl]

Another newcomer

Hi Beano and I'lltry. Welcome!! This is a great place for support. The MWO program + this discussion forum have put me on a much more optimistic track in my life. I am now on day 20 alcohol free, and trust me - I hadn't had 2 days in a row for many years before this. I encourage you to download the book and give it a read if you haven't already done so. I'm not taking the prescription medication recommended (Topomax or other) but I AM taking the full supplements program and doing the CD based hypnosis program (THAT was a tough sell to a skeptic!). I'm not saying this is easy as pie, but for me anyway, addressing the nutritional deficiencies and taking the things that calm the nerves and cravings, plus the hypnosis has made a HUGE difference.

Best wishes and hope to get to know you both better!!

DG
Day 20 AF

[BeanoC]

Another newcomer

Thanks Amelia, I will definitely join that thread.

I think you are very, very close to the mark with how it is for me. The drinking is my "escape" from the pressures of work, and the depressing nature of it. And, there is a lot of history of alcoholism in my family, so I am predisposed to addictive behavior. So, I have to come to terms with the fact that I probably can't drink socially or responsibly like some others can. God forgot to install an 'off' switch in me! So, for now at least, I have to go 'cold turkey' for awhile just to get my head on straight. It's not like my work situation is going to change, but I'll have to find different ways to cope with it.

[hart]

Another newcomer

(((Beano, I'll try this)))

:welcome: to you both. I too am a beer drinker so I know what you mean about the first 3 going down sooo easily. I am on Campral and I went 33 days AF without a lot of trouble. Then I fell off the wagon and starting today AF. You can do. A lot of my problem is habit. So I'm drinking LOTS of water instead. You'll like this place, it's supportive and fun!:l

[BeanoC]

Another newcomer

Thanks hart. I am sure I'll have to come here every day to help me stay on track.

Aside from the stress of my job, there are lots of other outside pressures and triggers that I have to be careful of. My circle of friends are mostly drinkers, some of them every bit as much as me or more. And some of them are the type to 'tease' anybody who says they don't want a drink. "Ah, come on, what's wrong with you?! Don't be such a wuss!!" That kind of stuff. So, I will have to change not only the way I think about drinking myself, but remove myself from the situations that are negative like that. I consider some of these people my dearest friends, but yet if they are truly my friends, they should never give me a hard time about trying to help myself. So it's kinda scary, facing so many changes in the lifestyle you've gotten used to over so many years... but I may not have too many more years if I don't!

[i'lltrythis]

Another newcomer

Thank you for the welcome!

Thanks again for starting the thread BeanoC. :goodjob: Laugh.

And thanks to the other discussion post members for the welcome, stories, and words of advice. :thumbs:

i'lltrythis

[Beaches]

Another newcomer

Welcome BeanoC and thanks so much for opening up and sharing your story. Triggers are a huge part of figuring out what's going on. I am not sure if it's been mentioned above but I know that L Glut, Kudzu and Topamax all have worked wonders for me and really turned my life around. I wish you only success.

[Hannah]

Another newcomer

Welcome, BeanoC, Welcome I'lltrythis

You have come to a good place. I think that you will find that once you lick the drinking problem, you will find that the problems you have in your daily life, such as work, etc., will seem less of a problem than they are right now - we are guilty (and I am speaking for myself too) of thinking that having a drink will relax us and make our problems go away, but in fact they just magnify them. I find that when I am sober I can take the stress of life much better - being sober doesn't make your problems go away, but it sure helps you deal with them.

I can't speak much about supplements because I have never taken any, but I have found the thing that works the best for me is exactly what you are doing - log on, and read and post, and read some more - There is tons of support here, and no judging, we have all been in those dark places at one time or other.

Welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. Good luck. :welcome:

[i'lltrythis]

Another newcomer

Hi Hannah,

Thank you for the warm welcome and your words. :thanks:

Well, day 12 for me over here. This looks like a good place to try and keep myself heading in a proper direction. :exclaim:

William

Hannah;171999 wrote: You have come to a good place. I think that you will find that once you lick the drinking problem, you will find that the problems you have in your daily life, such as work, etc., will seem less of a problem than they are right now - we are guilty (and I am speaking for myself too) of thinking that having a drink will relax us and make our problems go away, but in fact they just magnify them. I find that when I am sober I can take the stress of life much better - being sober doesn't make your problems go away, but it sure helps you deal with them.

I can't speak much about supplements because I have never taken any, but I have found the thing that works the best for me is exactly what you are doing - log on, and read and post, and read some more - There is tons of support here, and no judging, we have all been in those dark places at one time or other.

Welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. Good luck. :welcome: