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    just what to talk

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    #2
    just what to talk

    Hi youkons,
    Am sorry to hear that you`re so upset.
    Wonderful to know that you all love him enough to want to help him.

    There is a board called Family Members Affected By Drinking, where you will get good advice from others on living with an alcoholic.

    I hope you can work your way through this as a family.

    Much love,

    Starlight Impress

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      #3
      just what to talk

      Hi youkons. It sounds like you had to do what you had to do. Although painful it is the best thing you can do is give the person a swift kick in the pants and say 'enough is enough'. Most times this will give the person with a problem what they need to get themselves some help. This may be the best gift you give him. It might not seem to be that way right now.

      It is hard for us problem drinkers to get real help when we have something/someone to fall back onto. It really does takes for us to hit 'rock bottom' before one realizes there is nothing left but to get help. I hope he realizes what is being lost and does get help. There are support programs for Family Members affected by Drinking as Starlight Impress has mentioned. You need just as much support as the person who is ill. Take care of you and yours. Keep posting and talking. You are not alone.

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        #4
        just what to talk

        Hi Youkons...

        I agree with Starlight Impress. Similar to alcohol dependent souls sometimes needing birds of a feather to talk to and understand; the family and friends of one can benefit from talking to others with their types of experiences.

        That's all I'll allow myself to say because I've been wrestling with drinking excessively for a very, very long time.

        Sincerely,

        William

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          #5
          just what to talk

          Hey Youkons, I'm so sorry to read your story, it sounds like you all are having a really hard time. Post here as often as you need to and we will try to support you. He does need help and you are right to take a stand.
          Take care and Welcome:welcome:
          Amelia

          Sober since 30/06/10

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            #6
            just what to talk

            Hi Youkons, I am so sorry - I can relate, my mam (78) is an alcoholic and its ruined my family. Gradually she drove everyone away from the family home including my Dad who had to move out when he was 84.

            Get yourself on the Family Members Affected by Drinking, are your boys grownup now???

            I really wish you well. Janicexxxx
            AF since 9 May 2012
            Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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              #7
              just what to talk

              thanks for listening. when i wrote this morning and for the last 15 years I have always thought we would beat this thing together. Son and I were taking movies over to him thinking this would help him because we were feeling sorry for him knowning how lonly he must have been. But now hes done the one thing I really dont know how to forgive. Not only was he drunk but he had a woman with him. Just feeling really sorry for myself and dont know how to wrap my head around this.

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                #8
                just what to talk

                Hey Youkons.....Just wanted to take time out from my grappling with my problem to wish you well and to be strong.Do something special for yourself and family you sound like you deserve a break.

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                  #9
                  just what to talk

                  Alcohol makes one do some very stupid things! Sometimes we do things without remembering or knowing why in the first place. What your husband has done is not right and I'm not making excuses but he obviously needs help.

                  My advice, look after yourself and your kids first, addiction is a lonely place and one needs to decide for oneself. Your hubby needs to want to stop and HE needs to take the necessary steps.

                  Yes, as Starlight says, check out the Families Affected by Alcohol site.

                  I wish you strength and calm.
                  Full is not nearly as heavy as empty, my love...
                  Not nearly. -Fiona Apple-

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                    #10
                    just what to talk

                    Yikes Youkon, that situation doesn't sound good at all!! Look after yourself and your kids first. I agree with Delight, your hubby won't do anything about his drinking until he really wants to. If he has another woman with him, it may only be because she is 'OK' with his drinking,.....who knows. Can you get some counselling for partners of alcoholics, just to give yourself some extra support??
                    I really feel for you and can completely understand how difficult this must be to get your head around. Look after yourself, get yourself help and then see what, if anything you can do for your hubby.
                    Take care
                    xx
                    Amelia

                    Sober since 30/06/10

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