How do you feel good about not going out?

[IAD]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Ben,
Your in the right place. Most of us have tried everything,,,,AA, private counciling, etc. What ever works for you, but I've found that this place along with reading the book MWO, taking the supps. and listening to the cd's has been the best bet for me. IAD:welcome:

[Benjammin]

How do you feel good about not going out?

IAD;173931 wrote: Ben,
Your in the right place. Most of us have tried everything,,,,AA, private counciling, etc. What ever works for you, but I've found that this place along with reading the book MWO, taking the supps. and listening to the cd's has been the best bet for me. IAD:welcome:

Thanks! A personal question, are you using Topo as well. The side effects make me want to keep that part out of the loop. Anything that is doing that to your nervous system seems a bit frightening to me.

[Deilight]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Well Done Pink Lady on AF 5. Is it 6 now?

I am SO with you, I put a post on General asking kinda the same thing. Really struggling with the social aspect of not drinking! I'm not strong enough right now to go to a bar and be moderate or AF, which I have proven in the past week.

Stay posting and let us know what you do to beat the boredom, maybe we could start a suggestion thread for ex-happy hour hapless ones!

Good Luck and well done!

[Deilight]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Welcome Benjaminn! Cool Avatar!

[IAD]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Ben,
No Topo, I take enough meds., don't need an extra one. I'm taking Zoloft as it is for Depression. This is what Supps I'm taking: Kudzu 900mgs, Evening Primrose 3,000mgs., Milk Thistle 475mgs., & L-Glutamine 1500mgs. (All in one day). They seem to do the trick. Of course that's my batch of herbs; thier's other combo's on this site that you can try.IAD.

[Benjammin]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Deilight;173992 wrote: Welcome Benjaminn! Cool Avatar!

I could say the same though I'm not sure that "Cool" is the first thought that comes to mind...

:welcome:

[PinkLady]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Delight, Thanks for the post! Yes, I am on Day 6 right now! I can't believe I have made it this far!!! You guys are just awesome!!

I like your idea about an ex-happy hour thread. I hope to be able to go and not drink someday, and then moderate after that --- you know, a couple of drinks, s-l-o-w-l-y! --- then home without any desire to keep the buzz going! Until then, I need to feel like I am not missing out. We can stick together on those Thursdays or Fridays!!

Happy Saturday! I woke up and felt great on a weekend morning!! First time in years!!!!

Hi Benjammin! )

[adagirl]

How do you feel good about not going out?

PinkLady;173740 wrote: When I do get invited to ANY event, I feel like I am missing something if I don't go. Do any of you have that same feeling? I think I would feel almost as sad if I got invited to a movie with a group of people and couldn't make it. Now, that I am cutting out a major piece of my social life for awhile, I just wanted to know if anyone else had problem with it...

Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. :thanks:

I have the exact same sort of feelings. I have always been one who does not want to 'miss out' on anything. Even if my week is way overbooked as it is and it would add stress to put anything else on the calendar, I will still accept another invitation to do something just because I don't want to 'miss out'. When I was a child, I remember that I could not fall asleep until everyone else in the house was asleep because I did not want to 'miss out' on anything. I wonder if this is some sort of mental disorder?!?! LOL

Well, I am still struggling w/this. I am MODing so what I do now is plan one night out per week and ABS the rest of the week. I am taking Naltrexone, supps/vitamins, and do hypno - all of which I credit with making it POSSIBLE for me to MOD at all. Without these tools, I don't think I could successfully MOD. One of the reasons I decided to MOD rather than ABS is that I felt like I would get too 'wound up' if I did not allow myself to have a few drinks out once in awhile (once/week seems just right for me). Even though I don't want to get drunk anymore, I don't want to give up the social context of going out w/my friends for a great dinner, drinks, and dancing.

I don't know if I am helping much by sharing my story, though, because I know you want to ABS (at least for now). I guess one thing I could tell you is that people don't notice or care nearly as much as you think they would when you decide not to drink for a night. You can even hide it by going to the bar and ordering a non-alcoholic drink. I order club soda w/lime and everyone just assumes I am drinking a double g&t because that's what I used to drink all the time. I've actually had my drunk friends fight w/me saying that I needed someone else to drive me home because I was sooooo drunk (when I had been drinking club soda for the past three hours LOL). I also will 'lose' drinks on purpose now. If someone buys me a drink that I don't want, I'll just put it on a table or leave it at the bar when nobody is looking. So, there are ways to still hang out in the bar scene if you want to even if you aren't drinking. Its a little awkward at first, but it can be done. Like I said, though, I'm not sure I could do it without all the tools and I'm not sure which tools you are using. I mean its one thing to have a plan to drink club soda and 'lose' any drinks that people buy for you, but you have to be realistic about whether or not you can be strong enough to carry out that plan. For me, that strength does not exist within me without the Naltrexone and hypno (at least for now).

[Change]

How do you feel good about not going out?

AMELIA;173573 wrote: Believe you me, if after I have said that, any of them try to pressure me to drink, I wont be tempted, I will be pissed off.

Well, a so called 'friend' of mine did try to make me drink, numerous times, and surprisingly, it did turn me off even more.

To Pink Lady,

I work in hospitality and in the old days, i was the life of the party. In fact, i WAS the party! When i decided to give up certain things and go home instead of staying for after-work drinks, it took some getting used to. Especially when i would come home to an empty house and knew everybody was partying until 5am or so.

But, then i would wake up with no hangover and feel better for it. While the feelings of loneliness persisted for a while, now i cherish the time i have on my own in some ways, and really enjoy coming home and not waking up with a hangover. You learn to enjoy your own company more.

Like everything else, making this change in your life is about learning new habits. One day you will realise that you don't miss after-work drinks anymore, as you will have developed new habits (eg, like reading the Saturday paper, or NOT waking up with a hangover!).

[retteacher]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Pink Lady: I have gotten together w/friends in social situations & have not had a drink. It isn't easy, but I'm starting to get used to it. I order a soft drink. What I've found is that I have a good time wo/the paranoia of wondering whether I'm making sense or slurring my words. I don't tend to stay as long when I stay sober, but I can socialize wo/drinking. On Wed. we've been invited for cocktails before a play we'll all be seeing. I'll make a plan to not drink. I'll stick to the plan. Once I'm at the party for a little while, I don't notice other people drinking. Afterwards, I know I'll be grateful I didn't drink. I would have been obsessing all night about getting my next drink. I feel freer to socialize when I don't drink. Hope this helps, Mary

[PinkLady]

How do you feel good about not going out?

Adagirl, Change, Mary --- All great words of advice! Thank you soooooo much. It is greatly appreciated!! You are all right --- there are ways around this and I will feel better in the end. I will be proud of myself, I will be healthier than I have been in quite some time and I will learn to do other things also. The beginning is always the hardest. Right now, I don't feel strong enough to sit with them and not drink. Since I am trying for abs as long as possible, I don't have the option to MOD now. But, if I can successfully MOD 1 day per week, I will use some of Adagirl's tactics. (Good thinking!) Anyway, thanks for everything! You guys are wonderful!!!

Day 7 AF ---- I wouldn't have ever believed I could do it as of last Sunday morning --- waking up feeling like you-know-what!!!!

Enjoy!!!