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**joesgal** · August 4, 2007, 03:38 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Janice, well I too got through my 1st friday night af which is great for me given my past history! I have had those dreams and woken up feeling as if I had a hangover too during this last week. I don't know why it is either. I too drink diet coke, sometimes way too much so perhaps that's anoher issue I need to think about. Anyways we did it!! It's so kind of you to post each morning, your words are so encouraging. Good luck with the bbq tonight, love, joesgal,xx

**paula** · August 4, 2007, 05:12 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Janice and Joesgal,
It's perfectly normal what you are experiencing, and it will get better once your body starts to adjust. I also have bad dreams where I think I've been drinking and wake up feeling relieved that I am just dreaming. I should be going to a bbq this afternoon but I'm working,
which is a reliefe. Hope you all have a good weekend.
Love Paula. xx

**bird** · August 4, 2007, 06:04 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Janice Joes Paula and all to come,
I get those dreams too. I have a real problem with diet Pepsi. I want to quit it. I've read some awful things about the sweetner they use aspartame or something like that. I have tried to get off it before and it was alot like quitting booze with the headaches and cravings. Never could get more than 5 days in. I am taking my kids to a back to school expo this morning where they give away free school supplies and lunch.I really didnt want to go but I'm broke and need the stuff. There will be such a crowd though. Then we are going to the library and maybe to the city pool if it doesnt rain. Good Saturday to everyone. bird

**garden girl** · August 4, 2007, 06:46 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi everyone, well I said I would post wether the news is bad or good and its bad.After my ridiculous last post yesterday I drank over a bottle of wine, I drank it so quick I was very drunk and fell over in the kitchen in front of my two children and their friends.This is just getting stupid and I cannot get my head round why I can resist wine for a couple of days in a row no problem, but on the third day all the voices in my head turn off and I go and get the wine. I then feel so guilty after the first one I drink it really quick. I am only kidding myself by saying I can moderate, I definately need to completely abstain for a while as my body seems to have no control over the drink. As soon as I have swallowed one gulp I begin to feel different, I never used to get drunk so quick, I dont know if its just because Im in such a turmoil because I want to stop, now ,this month as I cannot take the job in september unless I do.So back to day one af I will try to put some activities in place for monday pm so that I am not in a position to drink and I am sure if I make it to Tuesday then I will feel soooo much better. My husband hardly drinks now so that makes it harder in a way. At the moment my girls are seeing me drunk twice a week and thats two times too much it has to stop.My husband always reminds me that it has been 2/3 times a week for the past 5 years, since my dad died and somehow I cannot get over the guilt that that statement makes me feel how do you forgive yourself???:upset: :upset: :upset:

**Guest** · August 4, 2007, 06:50 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Good morning Janice, joesgal and Paula and Bird.

I now firmly believe in adopting Rotrod`s perspective........that we should think of a Fr./Sat. night just as we would a week night.

Have also just taken to thinking............O.K., if I go ahead and buy a btl./Char, is it really going to DO ANYTHING for me, as in paint the house or pay the bills??...........is it heck as like, so may as well leave it where it belongs..........on the supermarket shelf!!!!

Beautiful day here in Glasgow.........feeling just grand and planning on notching up my 6th AF night.

Love and luck to you all, and those yet to come.

Starlight Impress x

**Guest** · August 4, 2007, 07:00 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi garden girl.........we were posting at the same time.
You forgive yourself because you`re worth forgiving..........none of us wants to be in a lover of alcohol ...........unfortunately, it`s just how we are.

I think you`re setting yourself up to fail, simply by continually beating yourself up for not managing to get a 3rd AF day in............it`s becoming like a kind of mental block with you, much the same as many of us feel as if the weekend isn`t a weekend without a wee drink.

Am treating the weekend nights just as if it were mid-week so as not to cave. It may well sound stupid, but try something different...........instead of Day 1, 2, 3............call them Day A, B, C and see if that makes a difference.

Just keep trying your best...........I have faith in you, because you know you really want this.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

**Cinders** · August 4, 2007, 07:00 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

GG,

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. It seems like I can flow along moderating nicely for a while and then suddenly WHAM, I just go bezerk and really tie one on.

I guess that is what makes us what we are, huh?

ABs is the only way for me to go, too, but unlike Mary, Starlight Impress, DG and so many others, I haven't yet been able to get my arms around it and like you I totally understand how disappointed and frustrated you are with yourself.

There are days when I am so down on myself!!

I am considering in house rehab for this reason. But is scares me. I don't want to go into rehab and get "sober" just to come out and start the whole mess again. What a waste that would be. It would be so much better to quit on my own and I would actually feel much better about myself in the end.

Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel and there is another person out there just like you. I am typically not so long winded.

The up side is, there are others, like Mary and Starlight who have been where we are now who have gotten past this place and that gives me great hope.

There are people like Paula and Gabby and Bear and so many others who have made it long term and this also gives me great hope.

So, I continue to read, continue to take my supps and do this thing one day at a time.

Chin up girl, we can do this!!

Love,
Cindi

**Guest** · August 4, 2007, 07:02 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Gg............Cindi is so right...........WE CAN IF WE THINK WE CAN!!!!

Hi Cindi !!!

Starlight Impress x

**garden girl** · August 4, 2007, 07:17 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

thankyou both so much for your quick responses. I just cannot get my head round why on wednesday, and thursday I found it so easy not to have a drink and why on friday even though I had had a lovely day and been really motivated that I still went out and got the wine and then got drunk infront of my girls and their friends. The guilt is really kicking in now and I feel overwhelmed with it. I think the problem is half of me just doesnt want to completely stop and I keep trying to believe that I can have a couple of glasses of wine and then stop at that. I just had a conversation with hubby about the fact that if I didnt feel so guilty when I drank to the point that I hide my glass in the cupboard and take a drink from it when nobody is looking, that maybe thats why I get drunk Oh I dont know anything anymore.

**Guest** · August 4, 2007, 07:36 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Gg, I tried mods for about 6 wks. and couldn`t maintain it.
Had been drinking a btl/wine again every night for a fortnight solid, when on Mon. of this week, I decided it had to stop.

Am not going to lie to you............Mon night for me was like how you must feel on your 3rd AF day when you cave..............Mon night for me was Hell.........unimaginable torture, but I came on here and found so many people online who stayed with me to help me through the night.

Yes, it was ghastly and I was hysterical, BUT!!!!.........I got through it, and as you know, this will be my 6th AF night, and I already KNOW that I will not buy any wine for tonight.

Please garden girl............force yourself to get through a Day 3/ C........for you, your family, me, and every one of your friends here.

Believe me............I thought I couldn`t do it, but I have........just as you can!!!

Go on!!!!...........we`ll be here for you night and day.

All my love,

Starlight Impress x

**Cinders** · August 4, 2007, 07:40 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Starlight,

I wanted to add I am so happy for you. I have watched you posts your ups and downs and to see you get through a hurdle like you have is wonderful!!

Have to log off and do some real work before heading into office but want to send great vibes yours and eveyone else's way!!

Have a wonderful weekend all!!

Cindi

**Guest** · August 4, 2007, 07:47 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Thanks Cindi..........catch you later. x

**retteacher** · August 4, 2007, 08:02 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi GG: On Thurs. Aug. 9th, I will have completed the 30 days that I set for myself as a goal. I never, ever thought I could say that. On July 9th, I had my last drink. I always thought that I would stop after some terrible happening, but that didn't happen. I just decided that I would stop for 1 day, July 10th. Then the next day, I decided to stop for one day, etc. etc. I didn't start counting the days until 7 whole days had passed. I needed to play the one day at a time mind game w/myself. Yes, the first 3 - 5 days were awful. I thought about drinking constantly, even putting bottles in my grocery cart & then putting them back. I used all the strategies I could think of in those first few days, & I came to MWO several times a day & read & posted. Now, I have 25 plus days & feel better than I've felt in years. That, in itself, is a motivator for me. Shortly after I came to MWO, I realized that I need to be abs. I cannot moderate. The notion that I can have 3, 4, even 5 drinks is not something I can do. I'm not by any means complacent. I know that I could slip even w/the sobriety I've accumulated. I watch myself all the time & plan social events carefully...we have a cocktail party on Wed. I'm planning on walking in w/a bottle of AF drink in my hand. I thank God for my sobriety & review my strategies daily:
-put off drinking.
-review cons of drinking & pros of not drinking.
-do something else.
-have a plan for social events.
-have no alcohol in the house.
I hope this helps. It sounds like you really want to stop. Love, Mary

**Janice** · August 4, 2007, 08:24 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Joesgirl, Paula, Bird, Garden Girl, Star and Cindi.

Garden Girl, This drinking thing really puts us all to the test - if it were easy none of us would be here so please don't be too down on yourself. I agree with Star, that third day is becoming a mental block with you - its a cycle that you've got to break if you want to make changes.

The only times I can get started with this abstinence thing is when I totally commit to it. I can only totally commit to it when "something" happens that opens my eyes and makes me realise what I am doing. Its as if something in my brain "switches to on". Both times - and I say "both" the beginning of May and this week, because they are the only two times I have been really serious about kicking this habit - I have shocked or scared myself into doing it so badly. All the other times I know I haven't wanted abstinence enough. Staying abstinent is another matter!!!

Garden Girl - I can't stress enough how much the vitamins would help you on that third day. PLEASE get some kudzo and L-glutamine. Then even if you decide to moderate, it will help you not to drink as much. I don't know if you read much but to get me going/ motivated/in the right frame of mind/feeling positive - whatever you want to call it - I read a couple of books which REALLY helped -

Obviously the MWO one;
The Effective Way to Stop Drinking - Beauchamp Colclough
Drinking - a love story - Caroline Knapp
Dry - Augusten Burroughs
How to stop drinking - Allen Carr

You say your husband reminds you how much you're drinking and for how long - is he supportive? Does he know how you're feeling?? Maybe he could do a little more to help you on that third day??? Thinking of you. Keep your chin up, keep trying and keep posting, we're here for you. Janicexxx

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