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The guilt is unbelievable...

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    The guilt is unbelievable...

    While I was on my last tare, I cheated on my hubby twice in only 2 weeks (and don't even remember most of those things). I now feel depressed and terribly guilty. I have never cheated on him before in our 8 years together. What should I do now? Tell him or leave it be?
    During that binge I was also very mean to him. I love only him and can't believe I did this!

    #2
    The guilt is unbelievable...

    Sorry to hear that. In my opionion I think you should not tell him and make a commitment to yourself to not binge because that brings this on. I do know how your feeling, though. My last binge I was talking with a man that I had no business speaking with. I did not follow through with anything but had major gilt. That will not happen again! Hope you feel better, but don't risk the marriage. It sounds like you truly love him.

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      #3
      The guilt is unbelievable...

      I agree. I wouldn't tell him ONLY because it will not help you get sober right now. I have never been in this situation, so my opinion could very well mean nothing. I do not condone adultery by any means but I think you need to focus on getting your drinking under control. When you have a clear/sober mind tell him if you feel the need to. I can't imagine what you are feeling, but I do empathize. Quitting drinking will take most of your energy so focus on that first. Deal with what you have done later.

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        #4
        The guilt is unbelievable...

        NO, NO, NO, don't tell him. It would only hurt him and probably destroy your relationship. I sometimes am not myself when I drink and could see myself easily doing something like that. It isn't the same as if you were in love with someone else; it obviously meant nothing. Forgive yourself girl. The past is done - you can't go back and change it - only learn from it.

        Love & Light - GG

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          #5
          The guilt is unbelievable...

          Don't tell him. And make a committment to make it up to him in your own way by getting healthy and showing him the love you feel.

          I know I wouldn't want to know. If you are never going to do it again, the only thing that would come from it is hurt.

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            #6
            The guilt is unbelievable...

            I just re-read my post, and it came off as judgemental, which I didn't mean it to.

            I have done so many things I am ashamed of when drinking, and several that I don't remember.

            :l :l

            Guilt goes away with time. Use it as a learning experience.

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              #7
              The guilt is unbelievable...

              It's better to foget ! Becuse this will only cause problems. hopefully later on in your life with your hubby you can prove that your worthy. Prove yourself threw the years that your worthy of his trust ! When my father was in Korea (durning the war) he played around....my mother never Knew the difference...they lived happily ever after. Men & sex does'nt aiways mean that much. IAD
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

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                #8
                The guilt is unbelievable...

                Iwantout.........be very careful.
                So, you cheated on your hubby when you were out of your face in drink.......O.K., not a particularly nice thing to do, BUT!!!.........what is done is done, and can`t be undone.

                By all means tell him, if you want to wave `bye `bye to your marriage, or even worse..........for him to stay, only to make you pay for your `mistakes` `til the end of your days, because he won`t accept you being drunk as an `excuse`.

                I understand how lowly you must feel. You also feel guilty and are struggling to deal with the guilt, so want to `confess`, but you do so at your peril.

                If you are truly happy in the marriage and wish to remain with your hubby, you would do best not to breathe a word about this to him, dry your tears and learn from this experience so as never to get yourself into such a drunken state again that you make such grave errors of judgement.

                Forgive yourself and concentrate on making your hubby happy from this moment onwards.

                Love,

                Starlight Impress x

                Comment


                  #9
                  The guilt is unbelievable...

                  I quess I've always been one to forgive.. & start again. It's my way. Maybe it's to a fault' IAD
                  ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                  those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                  Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The guilt is unbelievable...

                    You must have a very big heart IAD.

                    Starlight Impress x

                    Comment


                      #11
                      The guilt is unbelievable...

                      And IAD..........the world would be a far better place, if more of us were like you.

                      Starlight Impress x

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                        #12
                        The guilt is unbelievable...

                        Thank you guys. I have decided not to ever tell him but to definitely go to confession at my church and to also have a long talk with our priest (the one who actually married us). I hope to be able to forgive myself because I know God will...But one of the men I had an affair with is also married---to my best friend. I've known him for 17 years...The other man was only 20 years old. It's crazy.
                        I'm so scared to get off the drink completely and having to face my ugly drinking past while sober. I really think this all is punishment enough already, LOL.

                        Quick question: Is it safe to take Advil PM as a heavy drinker?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          The guilt is unbelievable...

                          The hardest part of me quitting drinking was having to deal with everything I had done while drunk...now being sober...those things make me ill, it is hard, but passes with time,
                          It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                          James Gordon, M.D.

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