Newbies in Need - Day 15

[Janice]

Morning newbies!! Its good to be back for a couple of days before I set off for a week in the north-east. I hope you are all doing okay - Paula and Star, what an inspiration you both are to all of us - you sound so disciplined and motivated, keep it going; Evergreen - do keep posting, its a lifeline; Riker - You're doing great but I would move those beers, too much of a temptation!! and Don, great stuff day 4!! Joesgal, we both caved on day 14!! Physically I felt terrible all day yesterday and even though it was champagne I am so conscious of the fact of where it might lead. I am determined not to end up in that dark place again. I do know how you felt about not posting though. All the way home I kept thinking to myself "how will I tell everyone?"

Anyway good luck and have a great day! ps Have we heard from Garden Girl??



Janicexxx

[paula]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Morning Janice and all to come, try not to feel to bad about your slip, just say I made
a mistake and try to let it go, there's nothing like guilt to get you in the drinking cycle
again. I'm going to East Yorks on saturday, for a week, hope it stops raining.! My family
all live in that area, so it will be nice to see them. I have a day off work today,so I'm
going to get my hair done, then out for lunch with a friend.
Haven't heard recently from GG. have a lovely sober day everyone.
Love Paula. xx

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hi everyone im still here not been posting because I felt so fed up with myself, but after reading yesterdays thread decided it would be a positive move to post. I have been away for a few days and still cant get beyond day 3. I went to see this counsellor again yesterday and had a really good session but then last night I drank over a bottle of wine really quick and got drunk again. I have got to accept that for now I really do need to completely abstain because as soon as I start to drink I just cant stop.We are going on holiday on Friday for a week, Friday will be the dreaded day 3 and this time I am determined to beat it as we will be arriving at our holiday cottage. I have spoken to hubby and the girls and I am going to be honest with them if I start to crave and I really think that just by being honest about it it will give that edge to not give in to the demon. I know once I get past this day 3 it will be easier, I would really like to come home and have stayed ofit for the whole holiday. Glad to see everyone is doing well. Janice do not beat yourself up it is ok to give in now and then because you know the next day you will be back on track I know you will not go to that dark place again and I really feel that I wont either because I dont want too. Just out of interest how much and how often is/was everybody drinking? The reason I ask is because I get very anxious about quantity but most people tell me that although I drink too much its not that bad. I normally drink twice a week but then drink about 11 units at once ? catch you all later

[Chief]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

GG, So nice to hear from you. I know exactly what you mean about Day 3. If you read my posts the last 2 days you will see that on my day 3 I was having a very hard time and was ready to cave to the crave but somehow I had sense enough to get on here and scream for help. The people here came to my rescue and I made it. Today is Day 5 for me and I feel great. Can you get on MWO at the cottage? Does hubby drink? If he and the girls can understand how important this is to you it would make a big difference. Could you tell them ahead of time that you don't want to drink at all so everyone knows the goal? We are all here for you, all you have to do is post.
I'm not sure the amount you drink determines "how bad you have it". I drank considerably more than you, 12-15 beers a day , but I don't think that means it should be any easier or harder for you to quit. I think it's about individual bodies, tolerences,etc. You say that people say you drink too much but it's not that bad. What the hell is that suppose to mean? You either drink too much or you don't, right? Only you can answer that. Just think about what YOU want to do. We are here for you. Please don't disappear. Don

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Thanks Don, Hubby and children totally understand and I am very honest and frank about everything, They want me to stop just as much as I want to stop Its just that I havent been able to achieve it so far, However that is about to change as my life needs changing. I have a job offer which I want to accept and that is in September 4th so I want to have a lot of af days between now and then and no drunk days at all. That is my goal and I am determined this time to achieve it. I am not able to get on line at the cottage but I will come on here as soon as I get back as well as over the next few days. thankyou for advice speak later.GGXX

[Janice]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Garden Girl, its good to hear from you - you are trying so hard. Hopefully arriving at your holiday cottage on day 3 will break that pattern. It really does help if you can be open and honest with your husband. At "that" time of the day if he is around and I'm struggling, I tell mine or I should say, I "snap" at him "I NEED a drink, help!" My hubby is very supportive and it just helps so much sharing with him how I'm feeling.

Before finding MWO at the end of April I was drinking every night - no day, cause I would start early to mid afternoon. I was building up to a bottle and a half of wine each day, maybe more. There wasn't many days when I didn't drink. By the time my hubby came in from work I had had my "fill" for the day and would have had time to recover enough so that he wouldn't know exactly how much I had drunk. I was very clever. If my kids were around, I would hide the glass behind teapots, in cupboards, anywhere so that I could keep having my secret fix. The scary thing was I wouldn't get that drunk. If I was out and busy and didn't start drinking until evening then I would still probably have almost a bottle but I'd suffer more and get up the next morning not remembering how I got to bed or what happened - I just blacked out. I never want to go back to those days although just after losing dad, I think I was on my way. To be honest, I don't think this whole "problem drinking" thing is about quantity - its more about the desire, the need, the wanting to drink - the way its on your mind all of the time, the planning of when and where that next drink will be.

I hope your holiday goes okay, try and relax and enjoy time with your family and remember no matter how you are feeling, it is so very important not to stop posting. Janicexxx

[evergreen]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hi all,

Janice I agree I think that the answer to how much is too much is different for everyone. Maybe it is not how much volume but how much obsession. How much energy and time is alcohol sucking away from us. I never quite drank every day but I see where I am going. My amounts are creeping up. I am hiding it and making bad decisions. It becomes the focal point of my social life. When I start I don't stop until the bottle is empty. Garden Girl stick around. You are in good company. Day 3 is always (like I have done it much lol) my worst day because my guard is down!!! Day 3 here I come!

Evergreen

PS Janice, I am always so impressed that you keep up with everyone on these posts!! Chief, you go bud!!

[Riker]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Morning everyone.

This is the begining of the dreaded Day 3 for me as well. But I feel strong, at least at the moment..since I just had breakfast I don't feel like a beer LOL .

For me, I take the Kudzu just before biking home, when I get home, the Kudzu has kicked in and it's a matter of just self dicipline because the craving is not super strong.

I feel better already, less bloated from the 25 beers I would have in the last 2 days. I sleep relatively well, but wake up tired as I always did, but NO hangover, woo hoo !

We all have our motivations, for me, my need to get in shape is the strongest reason right now and that's what is keeping me going. A year ago I was in really good physical shape, I still drank but a lot less because I could not do both, ie: drink a lot and work out like a mad man.. so the more I worked out , the less I drank.. But that was over a year ago and the pendulum swings both ways.. up and your up but all the way down when your off track. When I feel like having a drink, I just look down at my belly and go .. NO WAY MAN.. Once I get my body back the way I want it, and once I have had a few months of AF I would like to try and mod..but I'm not there yet. One thing at a time. And for now, that means DAY 3 !!

Evergreen, I'm right there with you all the way today !!.. Chief, keep on trucking !.

[nancy]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Garden Girl
i am not sure what 11 units equates to, but I suppose a bottle of wine? don't forget metabolism and body size. for me, a bottle of wine is manageable. I don't get drunk. Sounds like you do, as you said you wound up sitting outside somewhere one night right?
And as theothers said, the obsessive nature counts too.
This 3 day thing has become a self-fulfilling prophecy for you. I don't think it is a real barrier, just one you created. and by thinking you can't get past it you are allowing yourself to get drunk twice a week. if you turn around yourmental attitude you can definitely do it. I guess I could see the three day breakdown if you had more booze, but this sounds a bit different, like psychologically this is what you have told yourself about your own behavior.

Riker
I also find that health/physical well-being is a big motivating factor.

[evergreen]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

I am with Nancy - what is a unit? The folks across the pond keep mentioning it. What does it equate to for us Yanks? Nancy, I found that at times I didn't feel much after a whole bottle of wine and that developing tolerance actually caught my attention!

Fitness is a great motivator and I think the exercise is a key part of this program. I ran the dog 2 miles today (not quite the mad man status) but it was so much easier not being sluggy from the vino!

Garden Girl - for me day 3 is when I talk myself out of my issues. I know where you are. It will help me today as the "bewitching hour" approaches to think that Riker and others are here with me and I don't want to cave to it even more!!! Hang in there!!!

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hi everyone thanks for all the advice etc.I am always on day one and two never drink two days in a row but this week will be different. The fact that we are going on holiday will be a good thing because it is different to the normal routine so I will not think of friday as day 3 just as friday and holiday begins that should do it. Janice thankyou again I am going to show my hubby your post as sometimes I really need that kind of support but dont talk to him as he seems to struggle so much with my drinking that I dont feel I should expect that from him but just lately I find I could really do with it. He has sent me a text today to say he will help me as much as possible so I will hold him to it. I feel like c--p today very bad anxiety. A unit evergreen is like one unit of alcohol which equates to a 125ml glass of wine, even though ive had a drink problem for 5 years I always tend to count how many units I drink. speak later GGXX

[paula]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hi Garden Girl, hope your feeling better, your husband sounds lovely and supportive
just like mine, but it's so difficult for them to understand. My husband likes a drink
but has no problem with it, that's why I come to mwo because everyone understands
just how it is. Have a great holiday.
Love Paula.x

[Riker]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hey Gang,

In the middle of day 3 right now.. and for some reason I am feeling VERY dizzy and have a headache. It's like "buzzing" on both sides of my head..

I used to have that diziness about 3 years ago, and it lasted almost one year.. went to multiple doctors.. no one could figure it out.. they just told me to stop drinking for 2 months and then come back if I was still dizzy.. well I never stopped for two months and eventually it sort of went away.. or maybe it was masked by the booze..don't know.. but it's back.. and it's damm scary.. I really don't want to go through that crap again where I have to hang onto the side wall of the office to walk to the washroom for fear of falling on my face.

Maybe it's just temporary withdrawals ? I was feeling absolutely fine up until an hour ago..

Anyways, I'm going home now.. I'll check in with you guys later this afternoon.. I just hope I don't fall off my bycicle !! LOL>. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm on my bike with the wind in my face etc..

See you all later..

Riker

[paula]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Hi Riker, sorry your not feeling good, have you got a high temperature ?
or any other symptoms, it could be withdrawal or maybe a simple infection.
If it gets no better see your doc. I'm surprised they didn't investigate it earlier
but unfortunately once you tell a doctor you have a booze problem, they blame
everything on that.
Best wishes. Paula.

[Chief]

Newbies in Need - Day 15

Riker, Check in with us when you get home safe. That almost sounds like an ear infection.. I don't know if I've ever heard of withdrawl making you dizzy. Don't drink,man, that will not help... Keep driving... Don