Newbies in need - Day 22

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: Hope all is well. I'm doing better w/each passing day. I know (way back when) I started drinking in order to have more fun & feel more sociable, but that went out the window when I started drinking alone. I can't help asking myself (now that the alcoholic fog is clearing): "Why?" I know I must guard my sobriety w/all that I have. I know that I could go back to where I was at a moment's notice. Thank you all for being here. Mary

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Yep Mary that's the very scary part isn't it. It can creep back so fast and we have to guard against it almost every minute, at least I do. Some days I don't think about it at all. Then other days it's like where did that come from?
I decided to keep myself a little busier so I enrolled in a tax class for the fall and will probably do some tax work during this next tax season. It's been years since I've done this. It will help things out by making me think I contribute more to the household and by just taking up some of my time. I'm always more productive when I'm busy.

Mary, thanks for starting the thread. Janice and Garden Girl and Kitty, hope to hear from you soon. Bluesky, I hope you are well.

Melissa

I hope everyone has a great day.

[Chief]

Newbies in need - Day 22

I know what you mean, Mary. I'm on Day 12 and sometimes it seems all new to me and other times it seems like it's been months. I know this is something I will battle for the rest of my life and that can be a little depressing but hey, you have to play the hand you're dealt. I'm hoping when I have a few months under my belt the daily battle won't be the #1 thing on my mind. But I do know there is NO WAY I want to go back to where I was and start this whole deal over from Day 1! Have a good day all..Don

[Riker]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Good Day everyone,

It comes and goes.. sometimes it's almost all consuming..the fighting within one's self, other times, it's not even a thought.

I was listening to some music last night, as I do every night, and came accross some lyrics that seemed appropriate to me. If you don't mind, I will share some of it here:

This is an excerpt from the song titled: Somewhere I belong, by Linkin Park

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

Take care everyone, Riker

[Marshy]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Don, It's still on my mind all the time too and I'm hoping that will change sooner rather than later! (When I was drinking I never thought about booze when I just woke up - except maybe because it was the reason I felt so lousy - but I do now). I'm on Day 17 today and sometimes think "it would be really nice to have a drink tonight" but then I remember that I don't want to go back to where I was, and I especially don't want to go through the first week of sleepless nights when quitting again.
Have a good day everyone

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 22

hi all,

i havent posted for a while but have been reading everyday wishing i could contribute.

for some reason, i cannot get one day af. i have done it before, but this time .......

i have cut down but i'm not happy because i have used kudzu and l-glut to the max and evening primrose, b vits etc, only to cut down but not stop. Marshy and Chief, i wake up thinking about drink. i dont want to drink in the morning, but i am almost obsessing about it. i tell myself i wont drink today ....... and then do. back to usual levels.

Riker, i know that song and how strongly it is sung. its how i feel.

hi rottrod hope youre doing well!

and hi retteacher, you keep me focussed with your achievement of sobriety aka normal life.

roxane

[Riker]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Hi Roxanne,

Just by being here you are contributing in one way or another. My sugestion is start posting more often, when you feel like you are about to give in, post, post, post, people will respond to you and help you get through the difficult moment. I find that by helping someone I am helping myself. It keeps me focused and occupied on helping those who post while re-iterating the thoughts that I tell myself so it's a very positive thing to do !.

You have all the tools, ie: Kudzu, supps, vit etc.. just post more often and that will help you get over the tough parts. My 2 cents..

Oh, and yes that song is very powerful, when I listen to it at a good volume, ie: loud, I get emotionaly involved in it, which is all good. :-)

Don't give up, we are all here for you and for each other.

Riker

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Riker, thanks for responding.

i havent given up but i am finding it hard. i am also aware of how many 'I's' there are in these posts of mine. as in me me me. sorry about that. this site is where i vent and think of myself (alot it seems) as home is not a happy house and i am the last person i think of here (at home).

you'll be helping yourself alot if you keep responding to me ATM lol. you are right that i should post more, it feels that i'm out of the loop though. but i will do it.

thanks riker.

roxane

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Roxane: I agree w/Riker. Come to MWO & post. Nobody will think you are self-centered. There were many times that "drinking feeling" dissipated when I came here & read & posted. Keep coming. Mary

PS: I think those temptation thoughts will diminish. They did for me. In the beginning, I reviewed all the negatives of drinking & positives on not whenever I got a craving. Now, I don't have to do that as much. Day 44 sober.

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 22

Roxane,
Please post, we love you here, and those of us who know you and your situation want you to be well and as happy as you can possibly be.
When it starts feeling out of control for you just log on here and try to find someone.

Melissa

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 22

thank you hottrod/melissa and retteacher/mary (dont know what to call you!) its nice to know you remember me.

can i just say i am roxane not roxanne. i say this not because it bothers me (mine is a silly spelling for a reason), but there is a roxanne -hi- that has just responded on *that* thread. it is not me.

roxane

[hart]

Newbies in need - Day 22

I did so well I feel like boop boop de boop