In need of options

[Kyna]

:new:

I've arrived here tonight after several weeks of trying to get on the SMART recovery forum, and getting no reply. I'm all out of options. For the past five years or so have been in and out of recovery, from alcohol. Prior to this I had a twenty year history of dope and alcohol. I tried AA and although there are things I can appreciate about it, it's very much like 'support with pressure' for me. I have been in detox three times - the most recent of which was Feb. this year, after a severe depression. Was doing ok but the drinking is creeping back in again, and I need to find a new way to live - for mine, my husband, and my children's sakes ...

[roxane]

In need of options

welcome Kyna
you will find lots of support here that is not of the AA kind. it can work, but is not for everyone as you have found out.

good that you are aware of the drinking getting worse and wanting to do something about it.

roxane

[Kyna]

In need of options

Thanks Roxane ...
amazing to get such a quick response.
Yes, support is what I need. I've realised I can't do this on my own. Can you or anyone else give me info on the chatrooms here? I've never used one before.

Kyna

[nancy]

In need of options

Welcome!

Hi Kyna

Yes, you will get a lot of support here without pressure (unless you specifically ask for a kick in the a**, and some members do). You should get the book, download it here or get it from Amazon. My Way Out. This website offers TONS of tips for working on drinking problems.

Also, realize that a lot of alcoholics are nutritionally deficient and that can contribute to depression. Try to eat well, take a multivitamin with lots of B vitamins and get exercise to help with the depression.

It's important that you develop a good relationship with yourself and support yourself even though may be things you have done you are not proud of. Self esteem will help you heal, but alcohol often destroys self esteem.

In terms of SMART recovery, that looks like a very interesting program. Can you go to one of the meetings? I don't know if they are operating in your area. People on this website have reported problems with the website.

Do you have any interest in medications? A variety are available and you can read about them on this website. Topamax is the drug used for cravings in the book but has a lot of side effects. Campral and naltrexone look promising.

a number of members report that two supplements, kudzu and glutamine, can help curb cravings. i had mixed results with kudzu myself so I had to wonder if the good times were result of placebo effect or chance (but I continue to take it on social occasions). the glutamine powder on the tongue trick did not work for me but I am going to try to take it in a higher dose on social occasions.

Books can help, like How to Quit drinking without AA (see What we are reading section for more information).

I think there is also a program called Women for Sobriety...

hang in there and have hope!

[beatle]

In need of options

Kyna, you are very welcome here. Sounds like you are really ready to take the bull by the horns. Most of us here share sentiments about the AA approach, finding it too dogmatic, too inflexible, etc.

But mostly we share a desire to take control of our lives and to be an active participant in deciding how we do it. Studies show that this approach is the most successful.

You will get much support here-- I hope it is what you need.

beatle

p.s. We have fun sometimes, too ;-)

[Riker]

In need of options

:welcome: Kyna !

This is an amazing place to be part of. It is really the sum of it's parts that make it so good.

Welcome, we are all here to help you.

Riker

[beatle]

In need of options

One more p.s.:
ALWAYS listen to nancy. She knows everything and she is an excellent communicator. That's why I let her do all the work. I am completely serious.

[nancy]

In need of options

Thanks for that Beatle!!!

I forgot one important thing. I think it might be something Betty Boop emphasizes (Correct me if I am wrong Betty) and something I saw when I first joined.

Baby Steps!

Take baby steps if you need to. Every small improvement counts. You will be amazed at how they all add up and get you to a happier place ultimately.

[Kyna]

In need of options

I am blown out to hear back from people so quickly ... Thanks for the welcomes.

To answer, Nancy - yes, SMART is operating in my area. I called the D & A service I've been having counselling with today, and they have a meeting on Monday, with a facilitator I know (I sat in on group meetings for a couple of years, incl. a relapse-prevention course). Part of the problem is that I feel that I've tried so much and I keep ending up back here with addiction ... I started drinking again mid-June (after a 3 mth break) and I am starting to want to drink again more often, which is causing fights btwn my husb and I. Am starting to do it secretly again, and this is a big worry.

Must say however I'm pretty enthused by what I've seen here tonight. Have looked around the site heaps, read lots of posts. I'll try and download the book. I'm interested in trying the CD's but money is a big issue so can't right now ... Do they work? And the kudzo - I have TL epilepsy in my history so not sure if this will be a go?

Thanks also for the tips about the vitamins etc. I've been on lots of supps since my crash in Feb, as well as conceding to an anti-depressant for the bi-polar 2.

I think mainly I need a community of people who know what addiction is like.

Kyna

[nancy]

In need of options

Well, it might be very helpful to get the communication lines open. You can write about your experiences and see what has worked.

You probably should talk to a doctor and see which if any anti-alcohol or anti-craving meds you could try. Read through the whole meds section before you go to the doctor.

About the CDS, I really love them. I think that they probably are effective as part of a more comprehensive program for reducing alcohol intake. I think you can benefit by getting one CD, I believe it is hypnotic, but the four cd program is considered optimal.

If you can't afford that, try your local library for relaxation/guided visualization and meditation materials to help keep you calmer and positive. The CDs have these elements plus the alcohol messages.



Wishing you well,

nancy

[Guest]

In need of options

Welcome Kyna.

Am hoping that M.W.O. shall be the answer to your prayers.

Love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[amethyst]

In need of options

Welcome Kyna! MWO is an amazing place! Read as much as you can and keep posting! looking forward to hearing more from you.

[Michaela]

In need of options

Welcome KYNA! You will see a lot of us as parents of children whom we want to be better exapmples for. We don't judge. We are human, we slip, but we get back up. It's nice to know we are not alone.

Good luck!

Michaela

[Kyna]

In need of options

roxane, beatle, nancy, dingdong, riker, starlight, amethyst and michaela ... You have no idea how supported I feel by all your comments and feedback ...This is truly a godsend. Thank you.

I stayed up late last night looking round the site, reading posts ... I had a look at the women for Sobriety site also, but didn't find it all that useful (apart from the 13 precepts) ... I think I'll stick with you guys for now. I have a good feeling about this, and definitely feel inspired to make some positive changes.

Having said that, I think there is a fair bit of work required in the denial dept. I keep trying to reason with myself that I do not have that big a problem, yet every time I've tried to drink in moderation I end up gradually escalating, and wind up in detox. Shouldn't this be enough of an answer for me?

I'm not big on medications - it was a big ideological shift for me to accept that I needed to go back on an anti-dep. for the bipolar 2. I am very happy that I did now, however, as I am much more stable, my anxiety levels are less, and I actually sleep at night! I did however, have a bit of a read-up here and there on the topamax, and the neurophysiology of it sounds reasonable. I can accept it, and am willing to consider it as an option.

Interesting that you point out, dingdong, that it is an epilepsy medication - which may entitle me to use it. Also, as you point out, interactions with my current anti-dep. might be an issue.

I have decided to make an appt. with the Dr. after coming offline, and will discuss it with her next wk. I'm not sure what the prescriptions laws are here in Australia regarding this drug, but I'm sure btwn my Dr. and google I'll find out.

I know abstinence is what I need but scared as hell of making that 'permanent seeming' decision again. Yet all the while the stable door is open (ie: being able to drink now and then) I want to keep upping the ante...!

Kyna

[Hannah]

In need of options

Kyna

Would like to add my welcome to everyone else's. I hope you will find what you are looking for her, it truly is a wonderful site.

You said you are afraid of making the decision to be AF (what we call abstinent, or short term for "Alcohol Free"). Often poeple here try going AF for a short period of time, and see how that goes. (As was said, baby steps). Some people find success here in moderating, others, like myself, know that they can never truly moderate. Everyone is different, but we all support, educate, and care for each other here, and never judge.

Good luck & God Bless.