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    #1

    New and anxious to be sober

    Hello everyone. I am 36 years old. I've been a heavy drinker on and off now for about 5 years. I started drinking after years of failed infertility treatment. In the past couple of years it has gotten pretty bad. I've pretty much embarrassed myself and my husband in front of everyone we know. He drinks also but handles it much better. I actually was able to quit for two months by using L glutamine and GABA , dropped 18 pounds and felt great. It was in preparation for my final IVF. At that time we had been trying for a baby for 8 years and had decided it was too much and would quit trying after the 6th and final IVF. Two days after I found out it failed my sister announced she was pregnant (without even trying). That sent me on a binge. I drink everynight and not just a beer or two. I'm always hungover and worried about what I did or said the night before. I've also gained a ton of weight and generally feel very unhealthy. I've gotten drunk at work functions, family functions, basically any chance I get. I really just want to quit. I found out about this site while searching topamax. I've ordered the book, the topamax, adalfinil, and all the supplements and am anxiously awaiting their arrival. I look forward to a life where I'm not constantly regretting what I could have done or said the night before (I rarely remember). I've made peace with never having children (except my pup - Bailey) and am ready to move on. I'm very happy to have found this site and look forward to getting to know all of you.

    Christine
    Tags: None
    #2
    New and anxious to be sober

    It sounds like you have your plan in place. In vitro can be so emotionally draining from what I hear. I was at my gyn's office this morning and a lady was there for in vitro consultation. She and her husband were saying they have tried for a few years for a child and even tried artificial insemination, which has failed them. I can't imagine what you have gone through - but it must of been emotionally distressing.

    I think you will find a lot of support here. There are a lot of very caring people who can help you through the rough times and also they will offer you a lot of laughs along the way too. Most of us have been in your shoes in regards to embarrassing situations, forgetting what we said and done, etc. You are not alone and I hope you will feel some comfort knowing this.

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      #3
      New and anxious to be sober

      Welcomecd771, hope you get the support you need.this is a great place!

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        #4
        New and anxious to be sober

        Christine you've come to the right place. I'm relatively new myself but have found more support here than I could have ever imagined. The great thing here is everyone can relate to what you're going through and no one will never judge you. Read the book and take the supps - they help a lot. Post here often and let us know how you're doing. As for myself, I made 12 Days AF, stumbled a bit and started over - I'm now on Day 2 again. If you feel the urge to drink go to the need help ASAP forum - it's awesome and there seems to be always someone "on-duty". You'll do fine here, you're among friends. :welcome:

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          #5
          New and anxious to be sober

          Christine, Welcome! I've been a member for a month and it was one of the best moves I've ever made. I'm using the whole program but the thing that seems to have gotten me over the hump, at least for now, is the Topa. I'm in my second week and just have little or no desire to drink (10 days AF). Good luck, hang in there and post often.
          Rob2
          Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.--- Dale Carnegie

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            #6
            New and anxious to be sober

            Good to see you here Christine. I can relate to your problems-- all of them. We also had problems conceiving, while most our friends were popping babies out like toast. Maybe that contributed to my drinking problems, I never really thought about it. Anyway, here you are on your way back to health and we will do all we can to support you. You are still young, and who knows what lies ahead?
            Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

            Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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              #7
              New and anxious to be sober

              Welcome Christine, We're glad you found this site. I'm on Day 13 and I can tell you this site changed my life. Read the book and start the program with conviction. Keep checking in here and reading the posts and you will find a kinds of wonderful, although wacky, people who just want to help because we have all been there. No judging, no head games, just sincerity. Again, welcome.. Don

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                #8
                New and anxious to be sober

                Hi! and welcome! You caught my attention with your pup...bailey! I have a shit zue named bailey...nothing like this picture! anyway, you will find lots of nice helpful people here on these boards for support. It sounds like your on the right track ordering your supps and all. good work....and lots of good luck to you!

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                  #9
                  New and anxious to be sober

                  Hi I joined here lst november, and I am living proof that it works, only used the supps and the support here, Last year I was drinking 3+ bottles of wine everyday, now I moderate nicely .........

                  Read and post as much as you can, you really have found the best place ever ......
                  sigpicXXX

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                    #10
                    New and anxious to be sober

                    Hi Christine.
                    I think we all have issues of some sort or other to deal with in life, which can so easily cause us to seek solace in the booze.Sad fact is that no amount of drinking will ever alter the hand we have been dealt in life.

                    Am headed towards the end of my first sober month, thanks to M.W.O. and the wonderful friends I have made here............I was in a real bad way when I found this site........if I can do this, so too can you and anyone else who vows to give it their "all".

                    Wishing you love and strength,

                    Starlight Impress x

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                      #11
                      New and anxious to be sober

                      Welcome Christine,

                      We are here for whatever support you may need.

                      Best wishes.

                      Michaela
                      :beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
                      AF since 10/11/2008

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                        #12
                        New and anxious to be sober

                        Christine,

                        I'm new here also, but just wanted to let you know I can really relate to your story. I suffered with infertility (due to endometriosis) for the first ten years of my marriage. Like you with the drinking, I tried to lose myself also via smoking and drinking. Finally I decided I had to let go of the grief and move on. I started counselling, I gave up smoking, I started yoga, meditation, walking, juicing, herbs and supplements. Eighteen months later I fell pregnant - at 35 years ... I was flawed. I had convinced myself that I was never going to be a mum. It seemed so set in stone.

                        Now, years later, I have two children ... Some days I can hardly believe it. This is what I learned: It's necessary to accept where you are - yet not give up hope. You really never know what might be just around the corner.

                        Love to you, and Bailey! Animals are a great comfort ...
                        Hope to see you here in the days and weeks ahead!

                        Kyna
                        Kyna

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                          #13
                          New and anxious to be sober

                          Christine,

                          Welcome to this wonderful site of love, support and understanding. So, glad you found it.
                          I to can relate with drinking to much and having embarassing myself and others and not remembering. I hate that. I'm still trying to moderate. I wish you lots of strength and the best.
                          Blessings, Angel

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                            #14
                            New and anxious to be sober

                            Welcome, Christine

                            Welcome, Christine. I feel for you regarding the fertility issues - been there, and know how devastating it is. Most of us have some shadows in our past that contribute to our drinking problems. This site is all about support, caring, educatiing, and helping one another along our path to sobriety. You will find lots of friends here. :welcome:
                            The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

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                              #15
                              New and anxious to be sober

                              :thanks: Thank you for all the support everyone. I'm so happy to have found this board. This is the first time I've actually admitted I have a problem to anyone besides DH. It is very reassuring to know there are so many in the same shoes.

                              Kyna: I have endo also. Thanks for sharing your story. i read once that women with endo drink much heavier then women without. It was theorizing whether the endo could be caused by the drinking or vica versa. Did you take kudzu to quit? I'm wondering because on the FAQ page it says do not take if you have it. I ordered it but now guessing I will not be able to take it.

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