Need a lift

[MarryJ]

Hey there,
Thank you for seeing me. Got the book, read the book. Who is MarryJ? Functioning alcolholic. Go to work, come home, drink...day after day after year. Got sober at age 23 thru AA. 15 years + 8 months a member of AA and AF. Have been drinking for gasp, 10 years now. Many, many sad memories. AA is not working for me anymore, or i'm not willing to work it. I dig the board. Feeling scared, depressed. Just got dumped by my latest romantic interest, due to my alcohol consumption. Really dumped, like whatever you do, i don't care, have a nice life. Ouch. I'm feeling really weak. Have tried to get a few days under my belt, with no success as of lately unless you count 1 day. Talk with my friends who all agree i need to stop. My world has become very small. Where's that other Marry? I have been enthusiatic, curious, physically involved ie exercise, hiking, biking, gym. Now i wake up dreading work, but greatful to be of service and get out of my head for awhile. Then just come home and drink. Confused about the Topa. Generic vs. name brand.
Anyway, just isolating away here in L.A. Hope someone out there can respond. I know i have to do this myself, but a nod of encourgement would be most appreciated.
Thanks.

[betty boop]

Need a lift

Hi MarryJ & :welcome:to MWO,

You've read the book which is a good start.

Read and post here as much as you can, there is always someone here to help and support you.

Keep us posted,

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[hart]

Need a lift

Hey Marry!

Welcome to MWO hon. You will get more than a nod around here. We are a pretty caring bunch. 15 years sobriety pretty great! I have only recently became a problem drinker, drinking every day. My hubby is the same way. We went 33 days AF not so long ago with the help of Campral. Many fine people on here on Topomax and swear by it, so I think you'll do fine there. What is your primary motivation for becoming AF? Mine is I feel not like doing the things I usually love. I don't want to be drunk every day. I feel and look lousy then. Im sorry about ur breakup. But there is usually more than one reason for a breakup. If that give you, along with MWO site, the incentive to cut down or stop drinking altogether then THAT'S WHY IT HAPPENED.

Not only are we supportive, we are a fun group. :l

[MarryJ]

Need a lift

Thank you so much for replying. Typical alcoholic, thought my case would be different and nobody would respond. Today is a wash, but thanks again for acknowledging me.

[betty boop]

Need a lift

MarryJ,

You don't sound very happy, whats wrong??

[Finding My Self]

Need a lift

Hey Marry - good on you. Never forget those 15 years. I did a bit of AA and found it not as helpful as here. Grateful for it indeed but here is special.... there's a flexibility of method that seems to really really work.. It's a different way of doing it for yourself... I hope you find it helpful. Please keep visiting here and telling us how it's going wont you. No matter what you're onto something here. What does work is still one day at a time..

Love and hugs, too.
Finding xx

[retteacher]

Need a lift

Marry: I've been here since April. I came here drinking a big bottle of wine 3 - 5 time per week. The other days of the week, I was hungover &/or feeling lousy about myself. On July 10th w/no real bottoming out (i.e. awful or embarrassing incident), I decided I was sick of doing what I was doing week in & week out. I stopped for that one day. I did the same thing on July 11th & have continued that pattern until today (47 days, I think). I've had my cravings, triggers, & temptations but have managed to resist, because I feel so much better than I ever have. If you can do it for 15 plus years, you can do it period. Try the one day at a time approach (AA endorsed). Good luck. Mary
PS: I've kept abstinent w/just the regular vitamins I've always taken.

[Guest]

Need a lift

MarryJ,
I came here after a year of staying drunk. I had lost my fiance' in a car accident. So, I hit the bottle and was literally drinkign myself to death. I wrecked and totaled 3 cars in that year, went to the hospital injured all twice, was hurt the third also, arrested, lost my license, almost lost my life!!! I came here and stumble for a couple of months then got on all the supps, topa, and got busy!!! I am 4 and a half months AF now. I have never attended 1 AA meeting..they just aren't my thing. I love this place, it saved my life. You will not be judged, just loved and encouraged. AND as you can see from my story...no matter how screwed up you think you are...there is always someone worse off, but it can be done and you can do it!!!!! Just start one minute, then one hour, then one day at a time. Don't think to far ahead...it is to scarey at first. Get all the alcohol out of the house and beef up on supps and water!!!! AND find something to keep your mind busy!!! Don't obsess about NOT drinking. You can do this....glad you are here!

[beatle]

Need a lift

Welcome MarryJ-- you have come to the right place if you need a lift. We are all here for each other, not to judge, just to help, advise, get advice, and enjoy each others' company.

We all have different stories but a common burden we are trying to rid ourselves of, trying to fix our lives and look ahead. Read the posts (also check out the meds forum (Topamax, Campral...) for information and advice about all kinds of meds, and the Holistic forum for non-medical solutions.) There is so much information there.

And always feel free to post here or anywhere about anything.

If you did 15 years, you can get back to that place. I'm in awe. Now you are on your way again.

[Arial]

Need a lift

Welcome!

Hi MarryJ, and a warm:welcome: from me too -

It's so hard when you're in a cycle of depression/loneliness/feeling isolated etc. to be able to find the emotional and physical energy to pull yourself out. Sometimes it just takes that one step to start everything rolling again. You know you can do this as you've done it before, so I hope you can find that the inspiration and motivation from this site is enough to help you take those first steps.

So glad to have you here - I spent days/weeks reading, reading, reading and for the first time since acknowledging I had a drinking problem, I didn't feel isolated - so jump in with us, keep posting and sharing and I'm glad to be a small part of your journey....:l

[look]

Need a lift

Hi Marry,A big welcome to you.I can't add any.I haven't read the book yet,or do the tapes,didn't get any supps.But I am 21 days af.Use this place as a crutch.Everybodys so helpful.Keep reading & posting.Good luck

[MarryJ]

Need a lift

Like i said, today is a wash, but i'm still lookin' to see if you are really there. Looks like you are. Will check in tomorrow on a more positive note from my end, hopefully, isn't that always the plan? Arial, yes. Thank you for emphasizisng the obvious. 1 step at a time. Wanting to get better is better than denial, but the 2nd time around is not like the 1rst. The whole thing is way different now--what worked the first time is not working now. Yes, this is a progressive disease, geez i so saw it , people doing the research for me. I would of never thought i would join them. But here i am with the same conclusion. Thought willpower had nothing to do with it, but maybe it does. Visited my long time sober friend today, and he said willpower can kick some ass. Huh, hasn't been working very well for me, but maybe i just need a change of attitude. + some exercise, vitamins, hypno thearpy & Topa. Preferably in that order. Really don't want to do the Topa. Crazy, as i drink a bottle of Zin 5 nights a week, and on my 2 days off of work i drink 4 bottles, 2 a day. I'm not a big girl, 5'6", 118 lbs. So this is a lot of booze for me. 1 sip is too much and definitley not enough. So then...we all have our stories, thank you if you've made it this far. MarryJ