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    #16
    quickly running out of options

    Little One,

    When you first realize that you have a problem and decide to cut back, or stop altogether, not drinking alcohol can seem like a tremendous punishment. There are people here who have quit and still manage to hold on to old friendships. Personally, I would find it difficult to be around folks who always drink to excess - I mean getting trashed - it would not be a good thing for me.

    Sometimes when you stop for awhile, your mind gets a lot clearer about friendships. Not saying that this person you speak of is not a great friend, but is it good for you to be so attached right now? It seems like alcohol is the glue that is holding you and your friends together, at least somewhat. What if you HAD to stop drinking - for instance you were ill and needed to be on a medication? Would your current friends still hang out with you if you could not drink? Perhaps you would still be really good friends with this person, but he would not be the great drinking buddy that he is now. Of course, if you stop drinking you will only need buddies, not drinking buddies.
    It would make me angry too if someone I cared about asked me to stop drinking and then got themselves all wrapped up in situation in which people are expected to booze excessively. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    One thing that I do know. When you stop getting trashed when you go out, the folks who are slamming drinks start to look really sad after they have had too much. They are not fun to talk to and don't make much sense. After you have seen that once or twice it sort of sticks in your memory.

    Anyway, good luck Little One. It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. Someone offered you a beer tonight and it was HARD for you to not take it. That should tell you something? (I keep NO alcohol in my house at the moment, otherwise it would be gone.)

    Hugs,
    Pansy

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      #17
      quickly running out of options

      Hey Little One, well done on having the courage to come and look for help. You are right to nip this in the bud, lots of us here partied too much in our 20's and 30's, went on to have kids, stayed alcohol free while pregnant and now are in our 40's and are faced with a wine problem. Maybe it's in our genes but some of us do not have the ability to switch off once we start drinking. The topa seems to help with that and a lot of people on the site have struggled with moderation versus being AF. Read the boards. I know in my case a lot of it is habit and one I need to break. I have had moderate success since finding this site but that's my own fault as I was not totally committed. However, I kept coming back and reading and when I read about people who joined the same time as me in 2006 and now have 18 months AF under the belt it made me jealous but also gave me hope to start again. I am now on Day 4 AF. You can order the cd's, book, supplments etc. online from MWO and it gets here in about a week. Loads of support on the boards just reach out we are there for you.

      Rustop

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