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Newbies in Need - Day 4

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    #1

    Newbies in Need - Day 4

    Hello everyone. Boy is this a newbie in need day for me!!

    After having done so well I blew it big time.

    I now recognize one of my major triggers is family stress and I need to figure out how to deal with that stress sans alcohol. Things imploded yesterday for me. My daughter-in-law and son wouldn't come over for Labor Day Weekend barbecue because they say that my husband treats my other grandchild much more favorably. He does spend a lot more time with her because he babysits her for my daughter, single mom.

    Anyway, on top of that my daughter's new boyfriend's mom called her up and told her in no uncertain terms to stay away from her son. My daughter is rather upset about that and is really worried because her boyfriend has basically told his parents he won't talk to them again unless they apologize. My daughter doesn't want to cause a rift in his relationship with his family but is really in love with this guy.

    Sheesh. "Days of our Lives" at my house!! (Soap opera for those not in U.S.)

    So, somehow I convinced myself it was OKAY to buy that wine and drink until stupid. Arrrgghh. I hate having given in to the booze beast and KNOW that using stress as an excuse is not the right way.

    Way, way the wrong way.

    So, here I sit at the airport waiting for my flight, starting over on day one AF.

    I let myself down big time.

    Hope everyone else's weekend went somewhat better.

    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016
    Tags: None
    #2
    Newbies in Need - Day 4

    Good Morning Cindi

    Where are you off too?

    I just got two kids off to first day of high school so I am up at this ungodly hour of 8:47am lol. I am one of this earths true night owls in spite of craving the sun.

    Can you go back and rethink your thoughts that convinced you to think it was OK to drink to see how it was "stinkin' thinkin' " ? While that is fresh in your mind ask how did the drink help other than to quiet your mind and put you to sleep?

    Had you not drank how would you have felt this morning compared with how you do? Better able to deal with your thoughts?

    Are you very lonely when you are away all week? Or do you do well on your own? Just one more question, do you find you are tempted to drink just before you go away?

    Regardless, Cindi, the sun came up somewhere in the world this morning, not here, I hope where you are then!!! Today is another day for you! Keep on thinking and trying and remember it's your brain sabotaging you. You just have to fight it for all your worth.

    Courage and strength girl, I wish you both, in abundance.

    m. xx :l
    ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
    I am in the next seat.
    My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

    Comment

      #3
      Newbies in Need - Day 4

      Hey Cindi, families! You have to start putting yourself first. I'm an only child so it's easy but boy does my husbands family make up for it. Things going on with MIL and they are all trying to dump on me because up to this I was the soft touch. Have ended up with two out of the last three xmases in bits because of her and drinking heavily as a result. I was determined to start this programme on 1st September and this is Day 4. So far have had two telephone calls and one hinting e-mail but you know I am ignoring them all, putting myself, my kids etc. first and it feels good. So you go for it, jump on the wagon with the rest of us, you will feel better being clear headed and doing good things for yourself.

      Rustop

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        #4
        Newbies in Need - Day 4

        Cindi: I too have grown children & g-children & know the kind of drama they can stir up. Just get back on your program...you can do it. I can't tell you how many slips I had when I first came to MWO in April. Keep coming here (especially this thread). We've got your back. When you get the urge, remember how great you felt physically, emotionally, & spiritually when you were AF. That helps me. Also, I'm finding that speaking my truth is very helpful. Love, love, love, Mary
        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
        October 3, 2012

        Comment

          #5
          Newbies in Need - Day 4

          Mary

          You are always so wise.

          "Speaking your truth"

          I needed to be reminded of that today.

          Thank you.

          m. xx
          ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
          I am in the next seat.
          My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

          Comment

            #6
            Newbies in Need - Day 4

            Hi everyone,

            End of newbie day 4 for me already but thought I'd check in with you anyway. Cindi, as you know I know what kind of stress families can cause. Part of the problem is that in every family there is a 'caretaker', a person who takes all other people's feelings as their responsibility. I know I'm that person in my family (up to parents and down to grandchildren!) and it sounds to me like you are too.

            I'm beginning to realise that, actually, no other adult's feelings are my responsibility. If I've said or done something to upset them and they tell me I'll try and talk about it, apologise or whatever else is necessary. If another member of the family upsets them it's really up to those two parties to sort it out, not to me. Like I said I am learning, so often go back to feeling it's all somehow my fault when things aren't going well and then feeling resentful because 'everything is always left to me'. Result: stress followed by drink. When I do manage to let go and just say 'get on with it', it has absolutely amazing results. I feel great and they DO manage to sort it out.

            That was more 2 dollars' than 2 cents' worth.....I think it's hard to 'unlearn' being a mother to everyone.

            Hope you all had (or are having) a good day.

            Uli

            Comment

              #7
              Newbies in Need - Day 4

              Interesting thoughts here. I feel like I have a little bit of each of you inside me. The only way is to keep pushing ahead. Onward and upward.

              Thank you all for good advice.
              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

              Comment

                #8
                Newbies in Need - Day 4

                I have heard so many times that you have to be selfish to grasp sobrietry.How true is that,but probly one off the hardess to learn as we essentially are of a giving nature.
                So much insight here,take it on board and tomorrow is another day. Take care of YOU Hugs xx

                Comment

                  #9
                  Newbies in Need - Day 4

                  Good morning Cindi!

                  m. xx
                  ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
                  I am in the next seat.
                  My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Newbies in Need - Day 4

                    Hi Cindi,

                    Don't be down on yourself, you did a great job last week when you were at the hotel with your daughter. You know you can do it. I think there's some great advice here and being 'selfish' in your quest is very important.

                    Thankyou for your help in my first few days here. If any more stessful situations arise, remember you have the support and you can get the advice of all the people here to talk these family issues through with.

                    Take care,

                    Ben

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