Vicious cicle..

[Mike R.]

So here's my theory of what alot of us are actualy dealing with...

Starts with drinking a little courage to be who we wish we were in the eye's of other people,
Then it's the few drinks when we're alone, just to pass the time and feel a little comfort..
Then it's a little more when with out freinds...
Then a little more when we're alone...
Then we find out we can't hang with our freinds without it...
And suddenly whenever we're alone we're drinkin' no matter what...
Wake up hung over, start in the morning to pamper it...
Then POW...we start loosing freinds and lovers...
Damn that's depressing...Think I'll have a drink...
Now we're ruining our lives... spending all our money on booze
Now we REALY feel like crap...think I better drink some more...
Oh...going out with freinds tonight....BINGE...fallin' all over the place making a perfect fool of myself....
Now I REALY feel stupid...better cover that with some vodka...
Before you know it...you don't even care about your life...cause your life is drinking...
So basicly... it's all about changing ourselves, and our prospective about ourselvs...
I think most of us have very low self confidence and esteem...
But we're also better people then we think we are...
Don't need a drink to look in the mirror and say I love you...
This desease is all in our heads!!!
WE CAN CHANGE!!!

Hope a lot of newbies read this...cause I am one...
and I've been doin some self diggin' to find out why I'm actualy doin' this to myself...
I'm sure a lot of you will sympathise and start your journey...
I hope and pray at least ONE will...that'll be a world for me...
Good luck and God bless to us all...

[Guest]

Vicious cicle..

The booze suffocates our true spirit Mike.
AF affords us the opportunity to discover just who we really are........is somewhat scary to find ourselves contemplating so many pastures new in sobriety........but the thrill of a sober "trip" outweighs any reservations we may have about a life without alcohol.

Am finding that a life without alcohol is very much "a life less ordinary", and looking forward to an extraordinary AF future.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Bella]

Vicious cicle..

A very good post Mike. You could have been writing about me. I have not been drunk for 6 months now and my life is alot less blurred. The daily stresses are still there but I do cope better now without alcohol. Whereas before, I would drink and bury my head in the sand. Thanks for writing that. It helps. Bella xxx

[slightlysuze]

Vicious cicle..

So right....both of you. The circle idea is particularly right for me...a circle just goes round and round and never goes anywhere. Best to jump off it and go places

[Cinders]

Vicious cicle..

Great post, Mike.

It is amazing how we let it take over our lives and quit really living, isn't it?

God Bless you, too.

Cindi

[Mike R.]

Vicious cicle..

I'ts not as amazing as it is stupid...
I'm sure all of us could have stoped it at the start...
If we only cared about ourselves just a little more..
I mean...how many of us have said to ourselvs looking in the mirror,
"You're a worthless shit!" rather than "I love you"...
We're so much better than that...
talking to most of you in chat, and reading your posts... I think you are all so amazing!
Those who haven't realy decided to take the dive as well...
We don't deserve this life, and the absurd part is that we're doing to ourselvs...
How unbeleiveable is that? So many artists, so many Idealists...buried in a bottle...
Realy brings a tear to both my eyes...
Not only do we owe this to ourselvs, but to our family, and the world we live in I think...
(please forgive the spelling)

[Bluebell]

Vicious cicle..

Do you know something Mike?

You really hit a chord with me tonight.

It is amazing how we can justify our next drink.... and the next one.

Good on you for having the depth to express the process so well.

There are a lot of very clever, talented people here, and everywhere who are trapped in this cycle of crap.

[betty boop]

Vicious cicle..

Mike you write really well, thanks for finding this place, it is a pleasure to have 'met' you .....

[Mike R.]

Vicious cicle..

I wish somehow we could worn people on there way down that hole...
They don't need to go there... They SHOULD'T go there!!!
So easy to fall down that hole... so hard to climb out...
I don't feel sorry for myself, I want to fix myself and whoever I can on the way,
but the less there are to help the better... So how do we do that ppl...
I'm sure if we put our heads together as a bunch who know what this is,
We can find a way to stop ppl from falling down the same hole!!!
So start thinkin' and postin' and lets help and releive this next generation from what we're goin' through...
"If only the elderly could and the younger knew how"
That means it's up to us....

[retteacher]

Vicious cicle..

Mike: I was definitely on that downward spiral. It creeps up very, very slowly. I decided to take AF one day at a time. That was July 10th, 60 days ago. I haven't had this much sobriety in a very long time. I do miss drinking sometimes when I'm stressed or bored. However, now my life is so much better, & I know that one drink would put me right back into the whole cycle. Keep coming. Use all the tools at your disposal: supps, drinktracker, forums, etc. My sobriety is my number 1 priority right now. Mary

[OverIt2007]

Vicious cicle..

I have heard to much great advice on this site. Here are just two that really have stuck with me.

*It starts with just feeling good that you dont have a hangover. Then after time, sometimes a long time, it becomes a lifestyle change, and you start really liking yourself.

*And the real fear is not what we CANNOT become, the fear is what we really CAN become.

Im sorry for not knowing exactly where those came from, but great advice I cannot forget. T

[hart]

Vicious cicle..

You write very well Mike. A lot of truth in there. :goodjob:

[Deilight]

Vicious cicle..

The cycle, yes. I always say it's like a snake eating it's own tail! You're depressed cos you drink and you drink cos you're depressed and round and round we go.

You're right too about helping future generations, WE are the ones that show them "how to live" and "what is cool"!

[kittycat]

Vicious cicle..

Hi Mike,

Your words definitely have my behavior down perfectly. The unmanageable and out of control thinking when drinking is one of the biggest reasons I'm here and want to make this change. I look forward to reading many more of your posts.

Thanks!