Moderation????

[Lostfocus]

I've been AF 4 day my plan was moderation, week end hitting already my thoughts are wandering....I am in a delema trying to determain exactly what moderation is for me. There may be no modertion not sure I tend to binge, not just on my drink either, if I do something it is all or nothing from coffee and desert, enternaining, working, to house cleaning. Moderation at this time is basically a goal for all aspects of my life and I'm having problems determining where the moderate line is.....an suggestions?????

[Chief]

Moderation????

This is a very tough question. The answer requires knowing yourself and being very honest with yourself. I think it comes down to personality.
I am like you. All or nothing in everything I do. A classic Type A personality. It has led to a lot of success in my life: a 20 yr. military career as a U. S. Navy Aircrewman ( high stress), then as a Real Estate agent ( again high stress), and during those 30 yrs. I was also a very successful drinker. It was part of the job description: could drink anyone under the table, last one to bed, etc... you get the picture.
But when I finally got sick of it and tried to quit, I tried to moderate my drinking for a long time. It never worked. It NEVER worked...
I finally realized there was no moderating for me. It was too much work. If I'm going to drink, then I'm going to drink, and keep 'em coming. When I finally got this through my thick head, that's when I quit. I no longer drink. That's it. Done.
There are some folks here that do manage to moderate though. For the life of me I can't imagine how. They swear they do and are happy doing it but I wonder if they are just fooling themselves. I don't see how someone with a drinking problem can moderate. I mean, if you could control your drinking then you wouldn't be here in the first place, right?
So it really is up to you. You are the only one who knows if moderating is even an option. I think a lot of folks just hold on to that hope because the thought of making a committment to quit drinking forever scares them.
I know this doesn't answer anything for you but this is what I've observed... Don

[Flip]

Moderation????

Welcome Lostfocus. There are no answers Don. But you are absolutely spot on. You have to know yourself lost, only you know what is possible for yourself - and that requires being REALLY honest with yourself. I'm the same as Don, I can't moderate. I learnt that after many failures... but the good thing is, I DID learn, and that's all we can ask for. I stopped drinking completely and haven't looked back since. My life is worth it.

[magic]

Moderation????

Hi lostfocus,

I agree with Don and Flip, I do not drink alcohol and I am quite happy sober.

I know I could not moderate and don't want to even if I could.

I like my life with out alcohol. But that is my choice, others choose to moderate.

My only suggestion to you would be is to give yourself a little more AF time right now........

My best,

magic xx

[Breez]

Moderation????

I have read this opinion echo here before : if you have to question it-then you know the answer.

Like Flip & Don-no moderation for me. I tried 4 yrs to convince myself I can moderate & another 4 yrs to quit. Why do I need to convince myself I can moderate? Shouldn't moderation come naturally? All I ever did was watch the clock (no drinks before 5), watch my drink (1 drink every x minutes), get depressed that this was to be my last drink of the night (always wanting more)-aaahhh- too much worrying, thinking, calculating and eventually the stress of it caused me to always drink more than I wanted. It was an endless cycle. Start of good-end bad.

My life now-no worries-I just choose not to drink.

Good luck with your decision. I wish you success.

[Lostfocus]

Moderation????

Thak you all for responding. I don't have a computer at home so I can't visit over the weekend....and I think you are all right I tried a weekend of moderations and it was tough like Breez said always paying attention and watching the clock is was really a pain...and I really didn't do that great. Only thing that really made me moderate was that I didn't take enough home with me on friday night. I live 30 minutes from the nearest store so I have to stock.

[gourmet]

Moderation????

I thought I was doing good moderating for the last couple of weeks - 1 or 2 glasses of wine and finished. Even went a couple of days without anything. But the last 2 days, 4 drinks before stopping. I feel horrible. Drinking through the meds now. I am afraid there is no moderation when one has this drinking problem. I am now going to try my best to abstain. See how many days with no alcohol at all I can do. This is a sad and painful place to be. Life is so wonderful but for this horrible addiction. How I wish I had never, ever taken that first drink. Please pray for me.

[Lostfocus]

Moderation????

Hang in there Gourmet, I will include you in my positive thoughts

[Janice]

Moderation????

Moderation was always my plan when I found this site at the end of April. After 42 days I "planned" to start drinking again "normally" but I don't think we can. Its not the amount we are drinking thats the problem its the wanting and once we start to introduce it back into our bodies, we just more and more. I just ended up back on that slippery slope that takes us into that dark abyss. Just trying to climb out now but it will have to be abstinence for me in the future. Janicexx