Terrified of AA need help please!!

[JMT]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Well, I "broke up" with my sponsor today and she FLIPPED OUT! But, I decided I'm taking what I want out of AA and leaving the rest. I'm fortunate the group I found finally are pretty funny and light hearted they aren't hardcore like the other group. Although I must say there was this old man that went on and on about newcomers and how they need to take their arses right out the door because they are going to slip and he doesn't have time for that sh$#. I thought, wow sober and pissed...hmm GREAT example!! LOL
Anyway, this site is helping me soooo much!! I'm so glad I'm here!!

[Flip]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

He sounds like a complete wanker to me Cuddles, stupid old man.

You are right, just take what you need from it and leave the rest. You are in control of this process, nobody else is.

As for your 'sponser' what a sick person..... sounds like a total control freak - probably codependant to boot.

[Guest]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Aye cuddles.........who needs morons like that???!!!........we all got each other here.

Starlight Impress x

[Finding My Self]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Glad you're here too, Cuddles!

WOT?!?! I feel sad for that old man...! And your ex sponsor... Glad you have a few lighthearted ones as well!

Love FMF xx

[meditation mama]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

What a shame that he hasn't really seen the big picture yet. AA or not, that is unappropriate of an "oldtimer" that should be supportive no matter what.. so sad for him.. sorry you had to witness it.

Glad you "fired" your sponsor.. remember, this is about YOU, and YOUR sobriety. Not other people. In the end, the steps (the actual meaning - not sometimes how they are conveyed these days), religion, or MYO, it is all the same message. It starts with you and ends with you. You just have to find the best shoe that fits and gives you the best support... Wait, I should have posted that on the "shoe whore thread".... you get my drift..

Best..

MM

[JMT]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

BIG HUGS to all of you!!!!! :armsaround: I'm really starting to see a dim light at the end of this LONG DARK tunnel!! Bless you all for being so warm and welcoming!!:thanks:

[nancy]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

I don't think you are just allowed to sit there at meetings. When I attended there was subtle pressure, in the guise of encouragement, for newcomers to share. Every time, they went around the room sharing and if you didn't want to share you had to say "Pass". But there was this subtle urging that it is good to share and as time went on, that pressure felt stronger. I never shared because I am NOT going to stand up and proclaim that I am an alcoholic.

One thing I would like to run by you all... Any ideas about whether this full-on AA approach is more problematic for women? It seems like on these boards it's mostly the ladies complaining. I told a doctor I didn't like the approach and he said there is growing realization that it isn't for everyone and this is why some groups for women were springing up, based on different models. I also wonder whether the tough love issues are easier for men to deal with.

[Flip]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

I think you may be right Nancy, I know I really struggled and then rejected AA very quickly. I was given a 'workbook' specifically written for women, but it was the usual wishy washy flower hugging lesbian whales stuff that I hate.

Personally I think it's just outdated and we need to move on. It doesn't work terribly well, but for years its been the only way people can think they are really doing something about their problems. And in principle, some of the steps probably work for some people, but we are so much more self empowered these days (a result of the 'self-help' movement?) that it just doesnt ring true.

In a few years (decades) they will have the antidote to alcohol and you will be able to drink as much as you want, sober up in minutes and perge the poison out of your system by taking a pill with no after effects. until that time however, we just have to recognise it as the poison it is and just stay the hell away from it.

Getting in touch with yourself is far more benificial that any AA bullshit.

[beatle]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Really Flip?-- about the antidote pill? That sounds too good to be true. It will surely have side effects.

I have deep respect for anyone who can get something out of AA-- and deeper respect for those that recognize it for the bullshit it is. No, that's not exactly what I meant--please, those that are able to take the good and leave the bad in AA, continue to do that. You are the most deserving of respect.

Also, very interesting point Nancy. I think you are on to something, as everyone I know that has thrived with AA is a member of the male species.

Sorry, I'm in an opinionated mood at the moment.

[Flip]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

never apologise for having an opinion beatle. no wet rags welcome around here! lol

[maxman]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

beatle;194601 wrote:
I have deep respect for anyone who can get something out of AA-- and deeper respect for those that recognize it for the bullshit it is. No, that's not exactly what I meant--please, those that are able to take the good and leave the bad in AA, continue to do that. You are the most deserving of respect.

so true, yoda would be proud!

[skypink]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

SKYPINK

Hi I'm new today to MWO!!

I'm 5 years sober. I gave up on AA when I left Rehab in 1999. Yes I relapsed but I had to find my own way and to decide I wanted to live not exist in a kind of half life. That consisted of me having to confront some issues surrounding me, my life and my childhood.

Yes therapy in Rehab did help me bring out some things I had never been able to speak about before but making contact with my sister again and talking with her and having her validate my memories and experiences meant more to me than all those group sessions and one to one's.

AA can be scary, I did 30 meetings in 30 days! All over London. I remember some in the more affluent areas lived another life to me and seemed not to have the same worries about how to get back on track and no money worries just seemed like big social clubs. Others seemed to contain serial attenders who were always the first share and pounced on newcomers rather than nurtured you.

I know they are there to help if you need them but I found them too cliquee. I stumbled upon this site and hope I can give and receive support from everyone here.:new:

[Finding My Self]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Skypink - just popping in to say welcome....I hope you can receive support from everyone here and we look forward to all you can, I'm sure, give...

I've 'waxed lyrical' (?!) about AA here but 'enjoyed' your post - I remember the pounce!

Good luck to you and brill on 5 years sober!

Love FMF x

[meditation mama]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

[QUOTE=Flip;194593]I was given a 'workbook' specifically written for women, but it was the usual wishy washy flower hugging lesbian whales stuff that I hate. =QUOTE]

Flip, I really wish you would come out of your shell. It would really help your recovery if you could just open up a bit and really share your feelings...:H

MM

[meditation mama]

Terrified of AA need help please!!

Flip;194593 wrote: I think you may be right Nancy, I know I really struggled and then rejected AA very quickly. I was given a 'workbook' specifically written for women, but it was the usual wishy washy flower hugging lesbian whales stuff that I hate. .

Flip, I really wish you would come out of your shell. It would really help your recovery if you could just open up a bit and really share your feelings...:H

MM