not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

[lgrove]

I really don't know where to begin... I've always like drinking... I think that the first time I drank was 9 at my grandparent new years day foottball party.


If i had a bad day i , I'd drink....

but 3 years ago, May24,2004. I got a call telling me that my brother had been murdered. my brother was 1 year and 3 days a part in birth from me. I was 4 montths pregnant with my 2nd child. and later I found out that i had been the last person ,besides the murderer,by 10minutes. I all most didn't have my baby. I would not eat or sleep or anything.

Thank the gods my son was born in perfect health...

but we still had to go thru the trial of who did kill him.. someone he met at AA. someone he tryed to help. some one who only got 10 years for killing him.

when I had the baby, after two or three month I started drinking again.. hard.

my mom wants me to go to aa, but I can't .. I saw this web site I like to hope that this will help.
I know my kids need me.

lgrove

[magic]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Welcome Igrove

That's a sad story indeed, many here have sad stories as well and will be able to relate to your grief as well as support you.

I hope you find that you have come to the right place.

We're a group of kind souls from around the world with a common goal.

I hope we can help.

Again, welcome.

magic xx :schmokin:

[Determinator]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Welcome Igrove. You have found an amazing and dynamic resource here...just ask and help will arrive. Have you dowloaded RJ's book yet? its a great place to start along with posting and reading the great wisdom here. You've been through some incredible trials...time now to give yourself a break and be healthy.
again...welcome

[STARLIGHT]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Igrove,
My heart goes out to you and all you have been through! You have come to a wonderful site. It has love, support and experiences that we all have shared with this problem of ours. Keep on reading and posting. And time will heal you!
Blessings, Angel

[slightlysuze]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

What an awful thing for you and your family :l I can understand why you went back to the drink...but, actually, is it helping the situation? I doubt it. Probably making it worse...but you know that already, that's why you're here. And you're very welcome and you'll find kindness and support here. When you're ready...you can start!

Suze

[Finding My Self]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Igrove - hello.

That is a truly awful story. No wonder you drink... On top of lots of years. Now it can be the past tense....not 'drink' anymore but 'drank'... When you're ready you've got everything and everyone you need here at MWO. Love, compassion, an ear 24/7, support, belief in you and, if you need it, gentle but firm nudges in the right direction.

AA must be, I don't know what to you....??phfff??... Stick around here and don't go there. Not at the moment. So helpful to many but clearly not everyone. Perhaps just too much of a horrible stimulus to you to drink... PLEASE come here and 'talk' to us. Read, read, read and post too. Ask loads. Things can feel better for you - it will take the time it takes but you'll be going in the right direction away from all the pain if you don't drink....just not the next one. Don't look fourther than that.

Blessings to you and your little ones. Are you on your own or do you have a partner/support?

Love FMF xx

[betty boop]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Hi Igrove and welcome ....

My heart goes out to you......

You certainly have found the best place ever here, you now have a 24 hour support group .....

Jump in, you CAN do this....

Love & Hugs,

[hart]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Hi Igrove, my heart goes out to you too. I don't like AA for my own reasons, none as powerful as you, obviously. We are a great, caring, funny when you wanna laugh group. I can't imagine what you are feeling anger, sadness, grief, to mention a few, but dousing those emotions with booze doesn't help. I keep reaching for it too, as does my husband, and it aint getting us anywhere.

If you don't mind my asking, and if you do, blow this off, how is ur husband dealing with all this?

[Guest]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Hi Igrove and welcome.
Am sorry that you lost your brother so tragically.
Further, I can understand why you would not wish to become involved with AA, and also that your drinking has escalated as a result of your grief.

You really have came to a great place.........there are so many caring members here, who will gladly help you become well.

Wishing you love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[bootcampbarbie]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

thank you for sharing yourself. the past is one of those things that seems to always loom in the future especially when we are drinking. but i have found through this great place, sobriety and the ability to conquer those demons, just finding a way each and every day to put that past behind me and grieve for all of it. so, i'm really touched and moved by the tragedies you've experienced. and you can be sober if you choose to do so. the boards are here for you.
bootsie

[spincycle]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

I'm very sorry for your loss. Many alternatives to AA exist. My Way out, smart recovery, etc. I have my own problems with AA as well.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-aa-10301.html

[lgrove]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

thank you for allthe great suport.

hart... my husband deals with it in his way he too drinks too much, (not as much as me), he also works alot so he doesn't have to talk. My brother was his best friend.

I'm glad I found this place.

lgrove

[Mike R.]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Welcome Igrove,
I can't realy say I know exactly how you feel, but I've had a similar experience.
My best freind was blown up in a bus a few years ago here in Israel,
on our independance day. I had to perform that night in the city square an hour after
I was told about what had happend. I sang "Heal the World" and "let the Sun Shine"
of all the songs that could be sung!!!! And yes, I went on stage drunk! Gave a great performance, but that after I just went and got totaly waisted...wasn't a very good idea!
Just made me more emotional, more deprest and that just turnd into self pitty for loosing him...I guess what I'm trying to say is that crying in a bottle never realy helps...
Anyway...
I know that words don't realy help much, so have a big long hug,
and you came to the right place for suport on your new jouney...
Good luck and God bless...

[Hannah]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Igrove, first of all a big hug for you. I can feel your hurt in your words. AA obviously isn't going to be the answer for you. This is a very good place, if you will let us we will give you all the support in the world. We all have our own demons, and can relate to what is driving you to drink - but believe me, life without the drink is soooo much better. Let us help you get there.

[JMT]

not for the faint of heart, but why i'm here

Hi Igrove, welcome! I'm new here but already have found it to be so great! Everyone is so understanding and supportive. I just went my rounds with AA and I will NOT be going back there EVER. I actually drank after an AA meeting last night because I was just FREAKED OUT!. I'm sooo sorry about your brother, that is so tragic!
You have found a GREAT place I hope you stick around you'll see how wonderful it is!!
Jen