Newbies in need - Day 15

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I feel a renewed committment today (day 68) & owe it all to MWO. I was feeling a little shaky last week...thinking about drinking. Today I feel like drinking is not an option, end of story! I won't harbor any more fantasies of being at parties w/a nice glass of wine in my hand. Who am I kidding?! I can't have one drink nor can I sip. I have 10 glasses & gulp. That's my pattern & there's no avoiding it. Have a great weekend. Mary

[Chief]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi Mary, I'm glad to hear you say that. You know I respect you and look up to you, but I must say, in some of your recent posts I was worried because I detected "The Beast" sneaking into your thought process. I'm so glad to hear you say that drinking is just not an option. Congratulations on Day 68. Day 36 here and doing well...Don

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Don: It's a matter of will & mind control for me. I was indulging in fantasies, & there's no place for that in my life. Yes, it's an effort to deal w/life. Dealing w/difficulties is one of the main reasons I started in the first place. I realize that there's no shortcut to happiness. Getting through difficulties to the other side is how it's done. I'm so glad you're doing so well. Have a great weekend. Mary

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi Mary, Don and all to come.
I`m with you 100%, Mary.........on my Day 48, I am only too well aware that there`s still utter nonsense tormenting my head..........that little bit of romantic illusion I always attached to that chilled glass of sparkling white. However, I cannot fail to recall all the damage the drink has inflicted on my life........that recollection makes drinking no longer an option for me either.......sure, there are times when I miss it to a certain extent, but my saving grace is knowing that I absolutely don`t need it.

Have a good and sober day all !!

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Star: I asked on long-term abs about the "romantic illusion" as you so aptly put it. They said exactly what you said. Remember all the damage & destruction drinking wreaked on you. Thanks for your comment. Mary

[spincycle]

Newbies in need - Day 15

We have, like it or not, "drunk brains" Our brains get used to the alcohol in our system and we feel off without it. Our brain starts creating fantasies, justifications, etc... to get the booze in the body.

Congrats on your AF success! :goodjob:

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 15

my day will come. i will be losing count of my days AF. i am struggling to even do 1 day lately. i have done some in the past and i know all my reasons are excuses. its almost like i'm psyching myself up to do the' big one' ie first (of many) AF days.

when i do my first day, i will let you all know. believe me!

roxane

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Roxane: Keep coming to MWO even if you aren't AF. Mary

[OccularFantasm]

Newbies in need - Day 15

I don't see the point in total abstinence. It is possible to have a drink and not continue to drink, albeit may be difficult. It is not until moderation is learned that alcohol will no longer control your life. A life devoted to abstinence from one idea/thing/action is no better than reckless gluttonous use of it. Many people experience added difficulty here because they will drink by themselves, or at a party where everyone is getting drunk. The key is to have one drink and enjoy it, theres nothing wrong with that. Once one drink will not bother you, you are done. There are no more steps. As you all have said yourself, you managed to survive with no drinking at all, and some of you evens ay you have stopped dreaming about it. That is good, and for more severe cases, it should begin like that. What I am trying to say is you should fantasize about having one drink and enjoying it. That is where you all need to be working towards. I would highly recommend doing this in a controlled scenario, ie with whoever has been supportive of you quitting in the first place. If you can accomplish this, you won't even have to worry about it anymore. Also don't get discouraged if you try and fail, as this is the last step you can reach, and therefore everyone will not be ready for it. This is the other reason I say do it in a controlled scenario with other people. This is one of the things AA refuses to tell anyone. They tell you that you cannot control your drinking and that you have a disease, but neither of those things are true. The truth is, you have difficulty controlling your drinking, and although you may have an affinity to desire alcohol, you certainly do not have any disease. All preaching these lies will do is lower your self esteem and keep AA membership up. These lies can help people just starting out; to help simplify the manner and be accepted into a large group. this would also be helpful for people who have drank for an extensive amount of time (excess of one year) and are currently in the detox, such a system can help a person accept abstinence. how long does one have to be totally abstinent before (s)he can try this method? I'd say longer the more years of drinking, but its really up on an individual basis. This is not an excuse to drink again. This is the final step that is never told. This is the only way to not be an alcoholic. Please do not try this if you are not ready, do not feel ready, do not have others available to be around at the time it is tried, or if you are still at a very young stage of recovery. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who hasn't been clean already for 6 months to a year. For those at that point, only you will know if your ready, or if you want to do it at all. You may be perfectly happy with everything as it is, and not even think about alcohol anymore. For all those who are still below 6 months: keep going, your doing great. I still do recommend getting an amino acid profile, and tests for heavy metal and mineral levels, as these can actually be what causes the alcohol-seeking-behavior, or in some cases the anxiety that leads to it.


We have, like it or not, "drunk brains" Our brains get used to the alcohol in our system and we feel off without it. Our brain starts creating fantasies, justifications, etc... to get the booze in the body.-Spincycle

Spin makes a very good point. Any time a person ingests a specific substance on a very regular basis, the person becomes accustomed to the effects. This is why people who smoke weed everyday can do better on tests high than sober, and why alcoholics can do things other wouldn't be capable of while on alcohol. This is true for any substance, but is not nearly the threat it could be as long as it is recognized.

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 15

thanks retteacher, i will. sometimes i lurk, but i try to contribute.

occular, welcome. your paragraphs are big, may be a good idea to split them? its hard to read them otherwise. i lost my way reading your post.

roxane

[Chief]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi Roxane, We welcome you and you will be able to quit when you are redy, just like the rest of us. Don't be afraid of starting & don't make the first day AF bigger than it is. It's just one day without booze, just one day. Once you make the committment to yourself and can start to look at it as a challenge you can win, you'll be on your way and we will be there to help you succeed. Keep reading and posting. You'll do it...

Occular, I disagree.

Don

[roxane]

Newbies in need - Day 15

respect to you don for reading through occulars post to be able to disagree! faced with a wall of words makes me blank out. couldnt read it.
Day one to me is a big deal, i hear what youre saying, but i cant get that first day, yet. if i get one day it will be a good thing, i can take it from there. but i have to get that first day.

roxane

[Hannah]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Occular, I am afraid I also most heartily disagree - and I have the experience to be able to speak to it. Whether or not you call it a disease, the vast majority of alcoholics are exactly that - and never will be able to handle it.

My husband and I were AF for ten years - 10 YEARS - and one time on vacation we thought to ourselves that after ten years abstinence we could surely handle having one glass of wine every evening - just one. JUST ONE. And we did.

For maybe a month or two. Then we found ourselves topping up the glass when half full. And eventually finishing off the bottle, because no sense leaving the last few inches in the bottle, right? And one it goes......

We have spent the last 8 years regretting our mistake. It has taken us many, many false starts and failures, and finally I think we are on our way to staying AF this time. And I know thata we will NEVER attempt that one drink again.

Sorry, but I cannot stress how totally I disagree with your hypothesis. It's even dangerous to post such (sorry) drivel because you may encourage people who are happily going along AF to attempt your one drink idea.

[magic]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Occular.

I'll try not to be rude.

You are full of sh*t.

Why are you here? What is your motivation? What do you want?

magic

[ECHOME]

Newbies in need - Day 15

I hope Iam in the right place. Today is my first day saying I have a drinking problem. I need help. Iam very sad and alone. I dont know what to do. My wife will not talk to me I dont even know were she is. ECHOME