Newbies in need - Day 15

[Beaches]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Yes Echome you are in the right place. I just read your story. Keep talking and stick around.

[KatieSmiles]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Welcome Echome

You have found a great place.
Read as much as you can and post often. It's very friendly here

K

[ECHOME]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Thank you. I hurt so bad right now i cant stop crying. I never thought this could happen to me. Iam a total wreck. I cant find my family. I think they left me. they got tired of my drinking. God I need help. ECHOME

[xtexan]

Newbies in need - Day 15

ECHOME:

You sound like you are hurting bad, and need a friend.

I did a lot of things I regret when I was drinking hard, and things I would never have done sober.

There is a way to get your life back, but it will take some work. We can help you with that.

My Way Out is a program to assist you in getting control again. Look around at some of the posts in "Need Help ASAP" section, and stay with us. The MWO program is described in a short book, written by Roberta Jewell, the site administrator. It is good to start there, but whatever you do, know that you are not alone.

Neil

[ECHOME]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Thank you. How do I get the book? EHCOME

[OverIt2007]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Wow...You seem like a very smart person Occular. I'd love to hear more of your insights. Im too tired tonight to get to in depth though!

[xtexan]

Newbies in need - Day 15

ECHOME:

At the top of the page you are reading, is a link that says "HEALTH STORE".

Click it, and a new window will open.

Then on the left side, will be a link that says, "Print it yourself PDF".

Click that, and it will take you to the download instructions. You can also order a paper copy if that works better for you.

Neil

[ECHOME]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Thank you Neil. ECHOME

[Finding My Self]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Echome

Hello - Just wanted to 'pick you up' here and let you I know that I heard your sadness....

First you need to get and stay sober. The very first thing. Day by day, for you so you become who you really are. That's like cleaning all the seadweed off seaside rocks. Then anyone near you wont keep slipping off.

Have you got the book off here? Can you get the supps and meds?

If not, take tons and tons of vitamin B and vit C. Drink gallons of water. Sweeten your coffee or tea a bit more/some. Eat chocoloate... Keep very busy around trigger times. And keep coming here to read, read, read and post, post, post.

Just DO NOT have that first drink - then you can't get drunk and have all the rest. OK?

After a few days and the alcohol is out of your system you will fee a whole heap clearer. (Just keep going days 3-4...whatever. They're just the hardest - but we've done them so so can you.)

Then, being here you've got lots of friends to help you 24/7....please use us!

I wish you so well Echome. I hope your wife comes home - but do this please?

Love FMF x

[ECHOME]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Thank you for your kind words. My problem is that I binge drink tell I black out. Only later do I find out what I did. I cant beleive the things I have done. I have verbally abused and emotionally abused my wife so bad that she is not the same person. I thought it was her only to find out it was me. I looked at her book marks on the internet and found the stories on abuse and I was shocked to find out I have a problem. I found my wife but she wont talk to me. I wish I new sooner so I could have got help.ECHOME

[robotriv]

Newbies in need - Day 15

brand new

Hi all

Just starting out, ordered the kit. Anxious to get my life in order. Need help!!

[OccularFantasm]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hey, yeah sorry about that post. As you have probably noticed I have ADD and organization isn't exactly my strong suit. I cannot stress enough that for people happy with the way they are doing things now, do not bother to change. If something works, don't try to fix it.

Also that story about 10 years of abstinence and then slipping back, that really shows how hard that last step can be. I think one of the major flaws was that the loved one was an alcoholic too, and therefore both individuals had the same weakness. As for what I said about it not being a disease, it is a disorder, I was just sort of splitting hairs I suppose. I like to compare it to cancer and extreme OCD. Cancer you get, and no matter what you do or how you torture yourself, it cannot go away. With extreme OCD, like on the hit TV show Monk for those of you unfamiliar with it, people cannot touch things, though they have the physical ability to. The latter is like alcoholism. There is the physical ability to not be drinking. An example would be sitting chained up, you would be physically not drinking, much the same way a person with extreme OCD can be forced to touch something an odd (or even depending on the person) amount of times if forced to and then restrained. It is a chemical reaction in the brain, coupled with psychology and cognitive repetitive therapy.

Just because this happens in the brain however, does not mean it can easily be controlled, rather quite the opposite. The brain is the most influential part of your body, and even a tiny imbalance can cause you to do things you would never consider doing otherwise. If you have a hard time believing or understanding this, think of what you do when your blackout drunk, or how you respond to cocaine or tranquillizers or anti-psychotics. Each creates a tiny imbalance in your brain, which results in actions you would not otherwise comply with.

I do hope nobody took offense to my post. I was not trying to impose any dissent upon alcoholics or imply they are not trying hard enough. I also hope nobody started drinking because of my post, though I would find that unlikely. To amend what I said before, make sure you are surrounded by family or friends, whoever is supportive, and not an alcoholic. This is similar to when N.A. tells people not to hang out with narcotic ingesting folks. This can easily cause people to compromise with themselves, and ultimately do what they were trying to avoid.

I am sorry about such long posts, but I tried to break this one up into smaller subsections for everyone, to allow for facilitated reading. I won't be able to respond every day as I am very busy lately with school and work, however I will help anyone who wants my help. similarly, I will not try to impose my ideas on anyone unwilling. If people don't want me in the forum section, i can just sit back and respond to people via private message, or via AIM. Thank you and have a nice evening.

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi ocular!

thanks for clarifying your ideas. I didn't take offense to your post and think it is good to hear different viewpoints. I agreed with some of what you said in terms of what alcoholism is and the downsides of abstinence. however, the first post did seem to be advising people to go out and try one and that gets a lot of people in trouble. If people are doing well with abstinence, it does not make sense to go out and tempt fate. also, some people do very well with abstinence. I found it an enormous burden (always thinking about the drink) but others dont seem similarly obsessed. If somethng causes that much pain and trouble in your life, it makes sense to dump it if possible.

i hope you stick around and i hope that this doesn't become a community intolerant of alternative viewpoints.

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Occular,

Your name kind of reminds me of the 60s, but oh well. :H

I agree with Nancy, you have every right to express your beliefs. As a matter of fact, there is an entire forum and this whole web site was created by RJ who was looking for moderate drinking vs complete abstinence.

There are members who have been moderately drinking for quite some time.

However, I don't think we can all be placed in the same "lump" and know that there are those who react differently to alcohol than others, so I truly believe there are many of us who can never moderate. Whether it is gentetic, learned, or caused by excessive use of alcohol over time, who cares? For many of us, drinking in the future is not worth it because it COULD lead back to the excessive drinking and therefore not worth the chance.

Nonetheless, I do agree that there are those that can and do maintain moderate drinking after having been heavy drinkers.

Welcome to MWO. You offered advice and help, I hope you can also find some advice and wisdom from some of us, too.

Cindi

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Noone is in the least intolerant, Nancy. Indeed, alternative perspectives are healthy.
However, OccularFantasm now agrees that his/her controversial post was misplaced in yesterday`s Newbies In Need thread, where people are often at their most vulnerable.......Occular would have perhaps been better to have posted said post in Long Term Abs.

Starlight Impress x