Worried about gettling complacent!

[francis]

Well, I'm steadily approaching the end of day 8 AF.

There is no denying that I feel much better. The first few days were tricky, but since then the mist has started to clear and I felt like I was in charge of myself again.

The trouble is that with this clarity comes complacency! Today I woke up feeling great- I had managed a week off the booze and was ready to face the day. This wasn't just a normal 'Sunday morning coming down', I could do anything I wanted. Trouble was, All I could think to do was drink...and the thoughts plagued me throughout the day.

Sitting here now, I'm very glad that I managed not to drink, but it was a close call. What if, for instance, a friend had called up and asked me to go out for a drink? I doubt I would have said no. Would I have sat there with him in the pub, watch him drinking beer while I sipped on coke? Probably not.

I'm pleased with my progress, with my sobriety, but just feel that my abstinence is sooo precarious. It's also hit me, just how much of a modification in lifestyle sobriety is going to take. I survived this weekend by turning my phone off so that I was uncontactable, making trips to the cinema and imersing myself in books. But that's a lonely life......

I guess it just takes time to get used to the change? Does/ has anyone else experienced these feelings?

[propartychief]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis,
First off good job so far and keep up the good work!!
If "cutting"yourself for awhile is what it takes then so be it what ever works!!
And YES we have all shared those feelings but it will only get better from here on!!
Just read and post and it helps take your mind off them.

We are here for you!

Bob

[Finding My Self]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis - good on you! Yes, I felt like that too but now I'm going out even more than ever and doing loads of new things....and I don't want to drink!!

Keep going. 8 days is wonderful and it's going to get even better for you.

Love FMF x

[Kyna]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis,
I think that the mental preoccuptaion with drinking is a huge aspect of what we have to deal with in choosing to be AF. Sounds like you did exactly what was called for - DISTRACTION! Don't worry, you won't be cut off forever, but it takes time to establish new patterns, new routines, new associations ... You're going great with 8 days. Hang in there, and know that it gets better.
All the best,

Kyna

[slightlysuze]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis...you're doing great! Stick with it!

When I went on my first social thingy AF I adopted an attitude to myself of 'practising' what an AF person might be like socialising with people who were drinking. Almost like being an actor. I slowed my actions right down, did lots of smiling and made a point of talking to lots more people than I would have done if I was just in a little group drinking. As my friends got more 'under the influence' I felt calmer and calmer...which I hadn't expected! I know it sounds a little weird but it worked for me, so it may work for others. And the funny thing was, nobody commented about it to me (I had a glass of water in my hand all the time so I suppose I looked the same lol) or thought I was any different to usual! (so...I look like a p*ss artist when I'm sober, eh? sheesh.....:upset: )

I, too, am worried about complacency as I approach day 30......so thanks for your post, it's helped me to focus.

[AMELIA]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis, well done. 8 days is fantastic. Be proud of yourself.
The last party I went to I was Af and I loved it. No one commented on my 'not drinking' and to be truthful I was much more 'there' without the alcohol.
I think a big part of our worry about being alcohol free is from our own need to feel accepted by people that are drinking. BUT I also think that if we accept that not drinking is ok, we will be less likely to waver under peer pressure.
Keep up the good work.
x

[look]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Wow Francis,doing great,i was worried about complacency(?) was 34 days af drank a 6 pk and i was thinking,1 more rollercoaster ride,but it didn't happen.it took me about 10 hrs to drink what normally took2 hrs to drink.woke up the next day ,no hangover,no desire to drink more,feels good!! I still worry about falling off again.i hope that feeling stays with me. keep up the good work!! stay in touch.

[Guest]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Francis, we just have to do "whatever it takes" to stay sober. Sure, for some that can mean a whole shakeup socially, as we may have to reconsider our choice of friends and venues. Personally, I`d happily stay in a cave rather than be drunk again!! lol Seriously, it does get easier.

As far as warding off any possible complacency goes, I find approaching each AF day just as I did the first seems to work a treat in keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[sunshinedaisies]

Worried about gettling complacent!

reported

[Nelz]

Worried about gettling complacent!

Congrats on the 8 days, you've made it past what I consider a great milestone on the journey. A week sober, and the body really starts to do some healing. And waking up without all the guilt, and WTH did I do or say last night events......uuuuuuggggh.

The timeline for all is different as to when and how they can interact with people in a social setting where AL is present. To be honest at first it was a bit trying for me in the beginning stages, but it certainly eased with time and exposure.

My opinion is, that if you have ANY doubt at all as to your strength level, it might be a good idea to avoid the situation. At a certain point, you should feel fairly confident that you can resist the temptation, I dont see a need to hurry such temptations.

Its my experience that you dont really become complacent, but the urges come fewer and farther between, AND its gets easier to tell your AL brain to go take a flying leap. It will become more of a habit "not" to drink, just like it was, "to drink".


I wish you all the strength, knowledge and support needed to reach your goals.

[available]

Worried about gettling complacent!

why are all these spams coming up, its pretty annoying isnt it? gets in the way of decent conversations with all the lovely ppl on here.

Day 3 in 49 mins

[Nelz]

Worried about gettling complacent!

available;1245602 wrote: why are all these spams coming up, its pretty annoying isnt it? gets in the way of decent conversations with all the lovely ppl on here.

Day 3 in 49 mins

Like I stated earlier, its kind of a compliment to the site, it means there is a lot of traffic. Best thing to do is just ignore it. Most of the threads started by them are VERY obvious.....supercut coupon in the Meds section......and the non sense words.

Yes its a PITA, and it seems that the Mods/Admins do a great job keeping up and removing. I was an admin on a Vbulletin platform with wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy less traffic than this, and spam was rampant. We ended up making the board, "invite only" and the problem went away.

That is certainly not an option on this board.....it does seem excessive, but its just what I would call "growing pains" this is a free outlet for us all to help each other, so lets just keep doing that, and pretend spammers are like our AL brain........LOL

(Sorry about the threadjack, but I felt the need to share some background knowledge, and a few people have had the same comment, so Im sure others feel the same way)


Now back to your regularly scheduled program LOL