AF Anyone??

[prose]

AF Anyone??

Hi everyone, how are you all doing today? I am good, feeling upbeat about things, even though I haven't been af, trying hard to moderate though.
what do you all have planned for the weekend? Amelia, are you back yet?
hope you are all well, P

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hello All, so great to see some more new names!!!!! Yes I was away for a few days and have been getting stuck into being back in the studio.....
Honestly,.....I have actually avoided coming back to the thread because I only lasted 3 days (full) AF.
Am not happy about it , but if I hadn't been making the effort, I would never have achieved any!!!

Welcome to all the newbies.

Wakeupmom, Cuckoo, Prose, and all others. I will catch up with where you are tomorrow.
Wishing you the best.
xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi Amelia, so glad you are back. I've been here and all over the place. Still doing okay on AF but it's not been easy. I've been doing the chat which has helped. It is 9:15 pm so I am headed up to bed. Hope to talk to you soon. Hope the painting is coming along.

Cuckoo

[panadol]

AF Anyone??

Can I join too?

Hi everyone! I'm on day four AF today. The best I've been
for some time. Feel fantastic! Want to bottle this feeling
forever, but have a better idea......Just stay AF! I feel very
positive this time. I think the hypnosis I has is helping plus
my DH who gave me a lovely massage when I wanted to
drink last night. First time Ive allowed myself not to be
tempted, normally I just go and drink at the first craving!
Hope everyone else is keeping AF!
Hugs Pan

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Panadol, I am glad you are feeling so great on day 4!! It has always been a difficult day for me. That massage sounds wonderful. I may try that tonight if I am tempted. My partner is also going AF with me tonight (which is a new thing) so there won't be any alcohol in the house.
Day 1 (again) for me.
Hello to everyone else. Hope you are all doing well.
Cuckoo, Wakeupmom, Prose, Bessie, Universal,...keep strong and keep going.
xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi Panadol and Amelia, if I got a massage for going AF that might make it a tad bit easier for me. I love my back and neck rubbed. Day 4 is great Panadol and you sound like your attitude is good. Amelia that your partner is going AF with you is a big plus. Not having alcohol in the house helps me.

Prose, Universal, Bessie, Finski, Wakeupmom, and everyone else hi and keep posting.

hugs.
cuckoo

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hello All, Day 3 for me and feel OK.

I must admit that I am getting a little nervous about my painting.....I had two new enquiries yesterday (they have both seen my paintings elsewhere) and I keep on having the urge to drink and drink and drink.
I know it is insecurity. I am trying to 'edit' any negative thoughts I am having, but I am really frightened. There you go I have admitted it!!
I am moving out of an area of work (signwriting) that I found soul destroying. However I also knew that I would get all the work I needed from signwriting to stay financially secure. I knew what I was doing etc, etc.
Signwriting has never meant anything to me emotionally. Well apart from the 'perfectionist' in me that wants my work to look perfect and please the client.

Painting is the 'dream' I have always had. I have thought for years and years that I will some day be a great painter. Quite romantic I know, but I have always believed that I would be a 'great' painter......
I go to my studio and freeze. Yet, yesterday I had two new enquiries from clients that have fallen 'in love' with my paintings.
I am looking at past paintings and feel like I have no idea how I managed to paint them.
My god. I can sort of understand how many artists in the past drank themselves silly.
I just don't know why I feel like this??

Thanks for reading my vent.

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Hi guys!
I have been tearing my hair out since the weekend as i have had computer problems,and haven't been able to post.Anyway i am back now and have been trying to catch up with it all.Its amazing if you miss a few days how it all runs away from you.
Cuckoo- thankyou so much for your pm.What a lovely suprise,and so sweet.I am fine thankyou.Feeling very irritable on day 6,and can't stop eating!!At least i am not gussling wine.Thats a total of 11 days so far this month,so maybe not too bad.Its what i put away in the 10 that i wasn't A/F!!! Hope you are ok too xx
Amelia-Its nice to have you back with us,and well done on your A/F days too!!You know Amelia,i can so understand your fears.You are torn with the unknown.Your signwritting is your bread and butter,and it must be a worry to let that security go.However your passion is your painting,and that is where your heart is.As you know i am not artistically minded,but i would imagine that you have to have periods of clarity to paint?Have faith in yourself.You are a wonderfull person you are laking some confidence.I am sure once you get started you will be fine(just get started)Don't be scared.A big cuddle to you xx
Prose -Hope you are doing good,xx
Panadol-Hi and well done on your A/F days.Hope you keep spoiling yourself too xx
Heres to anyone else i may of missed xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi Amelia and Wakeupmom,

Amelia, from what limited knowledge I have, you sound like most great artists. You have this drive to create but yet tend to be racked by self doubt. I know it sounds easy but if you can focus on the enquires of those that have fallen "in love" with your paintings that might help. Do you plan ahead what you want to paint or do you wait for "inspiration"? When a client hires you do they specify what they want, the colors, motif, etc. or do they leave the majority of that up to you? Well I'm glad to see you post, happy to see day 3 AF, and more than willing to listen to you vent. Keep us posted on the painting. I'm really interested in how it is going.

Wakeupmom, it's good you have your computer back. I know when I went away for the weekend and couldn't post I was going stir crazy. My thinking was you are replacing one addicition for another but I thought at least this one won't kill me. I forget what day it was when we messaged each other but I was feeling pretty blue that day but feeling much better now and happy you are feeling better too. I have 18 days AF for the month of November so I'm pretty happy with that considering October it was 4.

Well Wakupmom, I'm not sure where you are from but if you celebrate thanksgiving have a great one. Amelia I know that isn't a holiday in the UK but have a great Thursday.

Prose, Panadol, Finski, Bessie, and anyone else I may have forgot please enjoy the holiday if you celebrate it and have a good weekend.

Cuckoo

[prose]

AF Anyone??

Hello everyone,
boy it feels good to be back, I have been crazy busy for about a week but am able to spend some time here now. hopefully.
Amelia!!! I can only imagine what you are going through! But I know you can do it. One of the things I have been (trying) to learn from my therapist is how to take baby steps and not to let the perfectionist brain take over. it is really fricking hard, but I really have noticed that if I can just take a little step, it is so helpful.
I have a good friend who says that artistic, intelligent people have "sensitive" brains, and I really believe this to be true. (ie-like you said, all the great artists/writers etc who overindulge). I think that may come along with all your great talent.
I am not sure if I am making any sense, I just want you to know that I KNOW you can do this, just from your posts etc,
Please continue to post, we are all here for you,
I am going to a student art sale today where I take pottery lessons to see if I can find something wonderful, I will be thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts across the ocean.
wakeupmom, glad to hear about your af days! good work. I have been not doing so well, back on af today, yada yada yada,
cuckoo, happy thanksgiving to you!!! It is one of my favorite holidays,
to everyone I have missed, all my best, I will write after I get home from the show,
P

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hello All!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you too Cuckoo. Do you do the full thanksgiving dinner - turkey and all?? Sounds wonderful. Thank you all for your messages of support for my angst post about my painting. Cuckoo, my clients normally contact me because they have seen my work hanging elsewhere. So yes, that in itself should bolster my self esteem. I has been quite a while since I painted those though (about a year - so have to ease back into it I quess). A student art sale sounds really interesting too. Let us know if you buy a piece.

Wakeupmom, thankyou so much for your PM. It was so lovely to receive and to read. I am impressed by your AF days this month!! I know when we met you had 17 days AF for that month too, so it sounds like you are almost halving your drinking days???
And I can completely relate to the computer problems.....it has happened to me a few times and it really does feel that someone has cut a limb off.

Prose, I am going to take on board your comment about 'baby steps'. I think that is really important. I do get the feeling that I have to rush, rush, rush, be the best, best, best, without actually putting in the time needed to accomplish that. I think I will write those two words out and put them on my studio wall!!!!

Panadol, Finski, Bessie and Universal, hope you are all doing OK??

I have to fess up guys that after my post the other day, I did go on a big bender. 2 1/2 bottles of wine. I felt like shit yesterday. But, I forced myself to go to the gym and didn't drink last night. So day 2 today. I am going start using stars (like Db2fromala - Cindi) to reward myself.......

[Bessie]

AF Anyone??

Sorry to be so rude and not let you know how I am getting on. Had a bad day yesterday - bottle of wine and copgnac - thought I could hack it - so wrong but I am back on track now. Not managing 30 days at a stretch just yet but short runs of a few days AF are soooo much better than I was before. ODAT. Definitely baby steps for me!

Bessie xx

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hi Bessie, glad to see you posting. Sorry to hear about the wine and cognac - ouch I can imagine the sore head. It is great that you are managing to string along some Af days though. xx

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

What are we like!
Welcome Bessie,Its lovely to see you post on this thread.I hope you see this as i was wondering where you are from.I am a norfolk girl too.I understand if you do not want to disclose.Seems we are in close proximity.Well done on your A/F stint.Don't beat yourself up about the slip.If i would do that i'd be covered in bruises.Just keep going xx
Prose, was nice to hear from you.Hope you are enjoying the festivities.I am thinking you are in the US?At least your keeping busy.I think we need to put life into perspective some times.I know this Booze is a demond but it can be sooo consuming.Lets just try to enjoy the other aspects of our lives.Stay close.Love to hear from you xx
Cuckoo.You are FAB!!!Look at all those A/F days,and such an improvement on last month.Am proud of you girl,and you should be too.I am also in England,so no thanksgiving for me,but i hope you are having a ball-please let us know how its going xx
Amelia,glad you got my PM,hope you are ok,and getting your thoughts together to paint,paint,paint.My daughter loves painting she is only 9,and i fail her as i am not artistic at all,but i would love to show you some of her work.It would be interesting to have an opion.Should i maybe encourage her development,as she seems to have a gift?Anyway hon you know where i am.If its any consolation i also fell of my perch last night.Best wishes xx
A big hug to everone else i may not have mentioned xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Wakupmom, Bessie, Prose, Amelia, it is so good to see everyone posting again. I had a very nice thanksgiving yesterday spent with my niece and her small (husband, daughter, father's widow) family. I knew there would be wine so picked up a bottle of alcohol free wine for the occasion and made it through. Bessie you are so right about stringing together a few AF days and from everything I have been reading on the boards the more AF days you string together the easier it tends to get. Any day you don't put alcohol in your body is a day you give your body a chance to cleanse so do whatever you can and be proud of it. I hope everyone has a good day and please keep posting. I really miss you guys.