AF Anyone??

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Tahlula, Great to hear back from you and fab to see you posting. I love your avatar!!!!
Hope you are feeling a bit better and that hubby is being nice to you.
Look forward to seeing your posts again.
xxx

[prose]

AF Anyone??

Hello all,
have company so not much time to post, hope you are all well, P

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Prose, good to see you, hope you are getting on well?
x

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Cindi, Wakupmom, Amelia, Prose, Tahlula, hello all. Cindi thanks for the kudo. You are right. It is so hard yet so easy. Some days I don't think I can make another day and others I barely even think about it. Everyone I'm headed up to bed so this will be short but just wanted to touch base and say I miss talking to you all. I hope to get on earlier tomorrow night and spend some time posting to each one of you.

Universal, Finski, Bessie, and others that haven't posted in a while hope you are doing well and I'll look for you on the boards.

Cuckoo

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Hi Tahlula!! So good to see you posting again, i hope you are ok,and those cats are fine and dandy?
Cuckoo,How you doing darlin?Am a bit confused regards time,you seem to be going to bed very early.I hope you have a good nites sleep,and those cravings pass.Its so hard i know,but you seem to be doing so well.I wish you lots of strenghth,and love and hugs too xx
Prose, nice to see you have dropped in ,you are clearly busy,but just want to say keep posting girl,and keep us updated xx
Amelia,Only just recieved your pm's.Thank you.You are a luv.Yes i did see the photo's and i can't believe that was a month ago this Sat.Hope you are well and happy .No doubt you are busy painting.I showed my daughter your painting and she thought you were "Brill"and so do i.Much love as always xx
Cindi,If you come to this thread i wish you well.I keep up to date with your progress xx
And any one else xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi wakupmom, don't be confused, hon. I am going to bed early. I have been getting up around 4:00 am. I'm into work by about 6:00 am and leave around 2:30 pm. Come home let my dogs out and then head to the gym. If I don't get to the gym early it gets crowded and then you have to wait for equipment and I just don't have the energy for that. Also I head up a little before bed time to do some reading and have a cup of tea. Let the mutts out, make coffee, make my lunch, etc. Also, I'm taking the topamax which makes me tired so everything combined I'm normally ready for bed by about 5:30 pm. How are things with you? Hope all is well. Are the kids back now? If so when did they get back? How far is your ex from you? Well hon, I"m going to run some errands so I will talk to you later. Thanks for thinking of me and will talk to you tomorrow.

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hello All!!
Well I am renewing my committment to going AF. I have had a bad couple of weeks over the last month and I am so sick of the downward spiral of BOOZE.
Yuk, yuk, yuk. I want my stars back, but most of all I want my MIND back. It has been continually filled with DRINKING thoughts lately and I am sick of it.
Yesterday my partner found a bottle of wine hidden in one of my knee high boots (I know some of you will probably laugh at the lengths I will go.....), but I just have to move on and be AF.
Hello again Tahlula! Great to see you posting again....I have just joined your Af thread as well!
Wakeupmom, gosh the meet seems longer than a month ago! What painting did you show your daughter?? Was it one of my cards? When I have the website up and running I will let you know so that she can see a few more.
Cuckoo, still watching your progress. Thanks for your lovely message.
My god, getting up at 4am - yikes I don't like the sound of that. But, I know exactly what you mean about the gym and waiting for equipment. I have made the mistake of arriving at my gym around 5pm and it is a 'sea' of sweaty people - not nice.
Hello again Prose. Hope everything is going ok with you.
Cindi, Universal, Beth, Bessie and everyone else.:h

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Cuckoo,How are you ?
I thought i was the early riser, waking and getting up at 5:30!You seem to have a great plan to keep you A/F.Thankyou so much for your concern regarding my kids x.They are still with their Dad.He works away for long periods at a time, ie 6/7 weeks then comes home often without notice for 3/4 weeks,so i go from being full time mom, house keeper,career person to nothing.Any way we all have our crosses to bear,and after 20 years of it i should be able to cope(just hard sometimes).You are an inspiration.I wish i could give you a Big hug xx
Amelia,Your post made me sad ,sad for you,sad for me.I am with every step.It was the card of the cockrell that i showed to L.Can't wait for your website.All the luck,love in the world to you xx
Cindi,Prose,Tahula.and anyone else that looks in.Never say never xx

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Wakeup, I think I would find your position very difficult....You have the kids around you most of the time, then out of the blue hubby is back and you are on your lonesome. That sounds like fertile ground for overdoing it.

You know, I have been reading another book (I only say another cause I have read sooo many), about drinking and more importantly 'quiting drinking' and I have got to the part "are you an alcoholic?" questions stage. 7 questions that involve the usual about sneaking, morning drinking, blackouts, speed of consumption etc. I answered yes to all 7. But the author didn't preach about that, he merely asked 'How long have you felt out of control of your drinking' and how long have you wanted to stop?

I can honestly remember hiding bottles under beds when I was 22/23/24.
I am going nowhere with it. It is a frightening thing to read and to realise about oneself. I have wanted to QUIT for more than 10 years.
(As if feeling like I have to hide a bottle of wine in my boot isn't sign enough!!)

Anyhow. On a brighter note I am going to bed AF and have one star YIPPEE.
In the next week or so I will admit the full extent of it all to my man and show him every single hiding place in the flat. I am also going to order a breathalizer online and get him to test me all the time. I have decided that I have to make big changes now.

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Amelia,
I am backing you all the way.You have been very honest,that must be hard.I will be back tomorrow just wanted you to know i hear you xx

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hi Wakeupmom,
Thanks for your message. I know you guys all know where I am coming from cause to a degree all of you have your own problem too. I just don't know how I am going to explain it to my man so that he sees the full extent of the problem. He must of found a dozen or two dozen bottles hidden in our 8 years, but there would have been 100's.
I guess I will just have to be completely honest.

Once again Wakeup thanks - you're a real sweetie.
x

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Well Amelia,What can i say? You KNOW too well you have a huge problem as do i.BUT at least you are not in denial.You are at the same stage as me albeit i am very much older than you.I wish i had dealt with this years ago.
I hope so much that you can continue in that self discovery frame of mind thing,and make it happen.How low do you get before it connects?
Sorry am just in from work with the idea that i would do class,swim,sauna,etc.But no opened a bottle of wine instead(Hate myself for being sooo weak)Just 2 A/F days this month Argrrr.I wish you well,and admire your integrety xx
Cuckoo,Where the hell are you sweetie!Just get on here and give us an update PLEASE.Mind you i am not supprised with those anti-social working hours.Really hope you are OK xx
Prose,Cindi,Tahula,and all.Best wishes to you xxxxxx

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Wakeup, first and foremost I thought we were the same age give a year or two?????
I guess gym wise I am a little more flexible with my hours now so find it easier to get there. I know you know this, but exercise does help cut down on the plonk. Plus all those endorphins!!! When do your kids get back honey? I hope they're being lovelies and keeping in close contact with you even though they are not there??

Well, I think I am gonna have to get that breathalizer definately (to build up my man's trust again). I have just got home from the gym (having been in the studio painting) and I can tell he's not sure if I have been drinking or not.....when I kissed him hello he tried to smell my breath. I made myself an orange juice in the kitchen and he was poking his head round the corner to see what I was doing. ITS VERY SAD.
He found some gin & tonic cans hidden in the bathroom when he got home today. So as you can imagine his head is all over the place.
I will sit down with him on the weekend when I am not so tired and have a few more AF days and go through it all with him.

Anyway, there is no booze in our house tonight. So Day 2. Thanks for your concern.

xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi everyone, quick post because I had a plumber here today and need to go clean up bathroom (left it in great shape but since everything is out might as well do quick sweep and mop) and then a guy is coming to spackle and paint ceiling where I had a leak. I am here and doing fine. Need to catch up on reading posts and then I will post more. Wakupmom thanks for your concern. You are such a dear.
Be right back.

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Dear Amelia, I wish you all the best this weekend as you talk to your mate. I hope he is understanding and I applaud your honesty and courage. I only wish I had the honesty and courage to do so with my ex 8 years ago who knows what may have been different. The hiding the bottles and all sounds so familiar. Speaking for myself I've walked in your shoes (or maybe in this case knee high boots ) so I can certainly relate to where you're at. If I can do anything for you, you know you have my support 100%. Your honesty is amazing.

Wakupmom, thanks so much for your uplifting posts. You really brighten my days. I agree with Amelia in that it must be really hard for you to go from being full time mom, caregiver, career woman, to an empty home. When will they be coming home? I hope it isn't like a vacation land for them when they are at their father's. I think that makes it very hard on the custodial parent. Please don't be too hard on yourself for the wine. From every post I have read it has taken people any number of stops and starts to achieve AF. Every day without alcohol is a good day so even if you are AF every other day I still think that is an achievement. As for myself I am having a hard time the closer it gets to the holidays. I'm hosting some people on the 14th of the month and I'm just hoping I can get through that. I'm really trying one day at a time.

Well I'll try to post later. Take care you wonderful people.
love cuckoo
p.s. prose, cindi, bessie, tahlula, universal, finski, and anyone else hello.