AF Anyone??

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Cuckoo, I love that song. It means so much to me....
I come from a family where the male (dad) dominated my mother.
I still live with the repercussions.
I agree with the song....Sisters are doing it for themselves....
Big sis hug to you all
xxx

[SoCal Betsy]

AF Anyone??

Hi everyone,
I've had a good weekend. My kids are gone for the weekend and I found plenty to do other than drinking. I have a really clean house to prove it!
I feel great today and hopeful that I got over the hill and can keep going.
Hope everyone else had a good weekend too!

Betsy

[maasai]

AF Anyone??

hie Amelia count me in am joining as long as it adds the 36th day for me am in

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hey Besty,
I am so happy for you!!! Hats off.
Enjoy every moment.

Welcome Maasai!!!
Looking forward to hearing about your journey....
sounds like you are doing really well!!!
xxx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hello everyone, hope you are all doing well. I'm doing good. Just thought I'd pop in and say hi. Welcome Maasai and congrats on 36 days. Socal good going on the weekend and the clean house.

[diane52]

AF Anyone??

Yeah SoCal! Clean house! Peace. Quiet. MMMMMM.
Welcome Maasai! Lovely for you!
I'm heading off into a good week. One I've been dreading but I am prepared for it!
Good wishes to all.
Diane

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

This is not going to be a good post....
I have been drinking a lot lately as I have said.
I have also been 'sneaking' in a lot of booze (again) that my partner didn't know about.
He thought that things had got better and I was 'only' drinking the bottle that he bought into our flat.
Last night I hopped into bed before him and took a 250ml bottle to bed with me to finish it off (under the covers and hidden). He came in to kiss me good night and pulled back the covers to kiss my tummy.
Well, you know what he found.
He was so upset and disgusted and frightened.
I decided to show him all the other hidden 'empties' that I had 'stashed' - to try and get him to understand what was going on.
They are all sitting out on our kitchen sink now. I have got to go to work today with a stinking headache. He slept on the couch and basically said its over.
I am an alcoholic.

[hulagirl]

AF Anyone??

Oh Amelia, I am so glad that you could come here and share at your darkest moment. It takes a brave soul to open up and be honest with one self and others. We have all gone through this. Today (or tomorrow) is a new beginning for you. Remember what we hate about drinking? Well, you just needed a reminder. Now begin again. Please continue posting no matter what.

[planetjanet]

AF Anyone??

Hi Amelia,

I am so glad that I signed on tonight and read your post, thank you so very much for sharing your story. I too, have been drinking alot and AGAIN my life has spiraled out of control of binge drinking and missing 7 days of my new job that I started 4 weeks ago. Once again, telling the lies so that I didn't have to go in and spend the days and nights drinking bottles of wine. Oh gosh, I can totally understand your feeling, although different incidents, still the same story. My heart goes out to you and please keep us posted how things work out.

Today was my AF Day 1 and I am now getting to the point where I question on whether or not I will accomplish more than 20 days but gosh darn it I tell ya there is no way in heck I am going to give up this beast without a FIGHT!!!! I too, have realized that I can't drink and honestly believe that moderation will not be an option as well.

Keep us posted and lots of hugs,
Janet

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Hello to all you guys!

Amelia, so glad you have posted,so honest ,so brave to bear your soul.Your post made me cry.I don't hide my wine,but only because i don't have to.Living on my own now is the only reason or else i would be doing the very same.I am so sorry that your man thinks that that is it.Surely he will calm down when he gets time to take stock.You are so lovely he would be a fool to give up without a fight.Thats what you have to do Fight.I know you can do it hon.If its any consolation i too am an ALCOHOLIC,but like me you are so many other things.Stay close.Sending you the biggest hug xx

I have not been around the last few days.It was my birthday on sat.Not that i like them these days.I was debating with myself.To celebrate or not to celebrate.Anyway i decided to celebrate.xx

Cuckoo,Betsy,Janet,Prose,Diane,Massai,Hula,Amelia, and everyone else.Lets get this beat.Together xx

[SoCal Betsy]

AF Anyone??

Amelia,
Wakeupmom said something very powerful that you should write down and refer to...You ARE so many other things! Many positive, wonderful things! Take care of yourself - there are brighter days ahead for you to look forward to and today take the first step toward the future.
I'm going to try and heed my own advice and walk the walk. We can all do this together!
Sending you flowers from a million miles away - :flower:

Betsy

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Thank you for your kind replies.
You know – I know I am an alcoholic, because I have no control once I start. That constant yearning, thinking, scheming, lying and planning.
I spoke to another friend of mine (who drinks too) and told her what lengths I go to.
I told her that yesterday (a group of us went for a pub lunch) I took an extra mini bottle of wine in my bag. As soon as the wine everyone ordered had arrived at our table (and I knew once they had had a sip they wouldn’t smell alcohol on my breath) I was off to the loos to down my bottle. She said that she wouldn’t bother going to all the effort! It astounds me as I read it. But I do it.
It also astounds me that if I saw one of my friends doing what I do, I would know they were an alcoholic. I JUST HATE THE WORD.
I feel like an addict. Definately. I think I would prefer to be called an alcohol addict than an alcoholic even though they are one in the same.

Hula Girl, today is the new beginning. It has to be. My partner really looked after me today. He isn’t leaving. But I know that he and his confidence in me would not survive another round of this.

Planet Janet – so glad to hear that you have made Day 1. I agree we have to FIGHT. Otherwise we are just playing Russian Roulette with our lives.
I am not drinking today, it is my Day 1.

Wakeupmom – you sweetheart. I cry myself when I think about my situation too.
Thank you for your message that I am other things too, other than being an alcohol addict. I felt so much better when I read that. I am going to fight.
Happy Birthday!!! for the other day. You must be a Capricorn like me!!

Betsy – I am looking forward to brighter and better days. I KNOW that my life will not work with alcohol in it. And I think this time, my partner has finallly begun to see the seriousness of the position I have put myself in.

All the alcohol has gone from the house. I know he has probably searched the place while I was out – I would have if I was him.
It is exactly the same as having an affair - that’s the level of planning and scheming that goes into my drinking. A dreadful dangerous affair with alcohol.

Right. I don’t want to get you down. But I needed to write that.
As I said, Day 1 for me. My partner is going AF with me so it will be alot easier.

Hello to Cuckoo, ,Prose, Diane, Massai and anyone else!!
Lets do this together.
xxx

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Dearest Amelia,
Go girl go,Am an aquariian.Ruled by my anus!!xx(january girls rock)How about a spa break at chapneys some time? xx

[SoCal Betsy]

AF Anyone??

Hey Wakeupmom - I'm Aquarian too! (February though - but I can still rock with you right?! ha ha)

Amelia - I'm relieved to hear that your boyfriend is by your side - that must take some weight off your shoulders!

Betsy

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Amelia, I'm so glad you had the courage to make such an honest post. It helps us all when even one person can be so forthright with their addiction because it gives us all the freedom to open up and be truthful. I too am an alcoholic. I can't stop at one drink or even a couple. I have to drink until I'm drunk but as Wakup said, we are all so much more. Reading your post I see myself and I cried for all of us in this vicious cycle. If all of you feel as I do I know you each wake up every morning with a heartfelt desire to conquer this addiction and yet each day there seems to be another obstacle making it seem insurmountable. I wish there were some magic word to say to make it easy or a pill to take but even with the supps, the cds, the book and the topa I'm still finding it very to difficult to beat this. Amelia, you are in my thoughts and today is day 2 AF for me. To everyone else, thank you for being here.

Love, cuckoo