AF Anyone??

[bluequad]

AF Anyone??

Best of luck with your move Amelia, hope you are happy and well.

All the very best,
Gary

[AMELIA]

AF Anyone??

Hello All,

I am just about to disconnect the computer so will be 'offline' for quite a few days....shock horror to me!! I just found out that it will take time for my service provider to switch the broadband to my new address.
Will miss coming on here. Hope you are all doing Ok.
Thinking of you all.
Jo xxxxx

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Hello to all my friends!

Welcome to the newcomers its great to see you posting.xx

Amelia,i suppose i have missed you.Just wanted to wish you all the very best with that move.Looking forward to hearing all about it when you are settled in. xx

Cuckoo,Prose,Betsy,Blue quad,Newlife,Cindi,and anyone i may of missed.Sending you all a big hug and hoping all is well.xx


I have only had time to have a quick run through,as i am so busy at the moment.I will have a good read over the weekend,as i love to catch up on all your news.Take care xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hello everyone, just a short note to say hi and hope everyone is doing well. Amelia good luck with the move.

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Just wanted to bump this up so that when Amelia gets back she doesn't think we've deserted her.

[Yellowstone]

AF Anyone??

41 days AF as of today.

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

:goodjob: That is awesome, yellowstone. Congratulations!!! :yougo:

[Yellowstone]

AF Anyone??

Thanks cuckoosnest83. I hope that you are finding your peace in dealing with alcohol. I believe I have found mine through abstinence. Far too much to loose if I continued down the path I think I was heading.

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Hi Yellowstone. I haven't yet achieved my peace but I continue to rack up AF days which is so much better than what I was doing. I have more days without alcohol in the past 4 months than I have in the past 15 years. I agree 100% with you, in that I will only achieve my peace through abstinence. Hope you hang around to lend support to those of us who are still faltering.

[bluequad]

AF Anyone??

Congrats Yellowstone!! I too have slowly notched a few days, now up to 44 including today.
I look back on last month and think...cool, 1/12th of a year so far. The thought of giving up
seems almost strange at this point. Secretly I dream of the day when I won't have to keep
track anymore. You put it very clearly..."Far too much to loose if I continued down the path I think I was heading."

cuckoosnest83, "I have more days without alcohol in the past 4 months than I have in the past 15 years" now that's an amazing acheivement, and a "sobering" realization.
Personally, I just love the feeling of clarity. I had begun to believe that I had evolved into some dull witted lout. I was profoundly worried that I had damaged my brain, had destroyed my abilty to remember names, tasks, anniversarys. Now I am beginning to sense an inner power, something lost and now found. Amazing what crap booze is....should be illegal..

G

[fjones]

AF Anyone??

Hi All,

Day 6 today - not been online - travelling with work and internet at home still not working. I hope this weekend to review posts and get to know you all a bit better. Hope you are all having a good sober day.

[wakupmom]

AF Anyone??

Hi Chaps!
So sorry i have not posted for a while.I went to stay with a friend for a few days,whilst my cental heating was serviced, and it esculated into a week.It was nice to see Cuckoo,Bluequad,Fjones,and yellowstone checking in.I was pleased to see you are all doing well...Keep up the good work xx

Hi to Prose,Planet janet,Cindi,Newlife,Betsy,and any one else i might have missed. xx

Amelia,Hope you come back soon xx

Have mised you all,i am good .Have family coming tomorror from far away,so may not get the opportunity to post.Know that i think off you often and PLEASE stay in touch xx

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Anyone??

Bluequad, thanks. I am trying hard to focus on the positive and not put too much guilt on myself when I do end up drinking. The longest stretch of AF days I had was over 30 and you are right about the clarity and feeling like you have regained a huge part of yourself.

Fjones, it is so good to hear you have 6 days strung together. Please hang in there and keep posting. I miss hearing from you.

Wakup, always glad to read your upbeat posts. You are like a bit of bright sunshine on an overcast day. Hope the central heating is up and running. Enjoy your family tomorrow.

To all others, please check in when you can. Miss seeing your posts. Hope all are well.

Cuckoo

[fjones]

AF Anyone??

Here we are half way through Day 7 Friday afternoon and the craving is strong for the after work Friday relaxation. It starts with a commitment from me and my drinking buddy to only have one bottle between us. If we manage that we go home and then I pick 2 up on the way home to make sure that if i drink the first I won't go out in the car for a second. Usually I get through a bottle and a half watching DVDs, fall asleep on the sofa and wake around 3am feeling like hell and another Saturday goes to the dogs because I can barely move and the emotional consequences - guilt, fear and remorse run rampant and I spend the day trying to get rid of the smell of alcohol on me before my boyfriend arrives for Saturday night supper - by 8pm I am appearing human but inside know I am struggling.

Even as I type this I am having an anxiety attack. Usually an honest post relieves the craving.

Hope all others are doing okay.

[Yellowstone]

AF Anyone??

cuckoosnest83 that is quite the accomplishment....now just shoot for them in a row.

Bluequad
I had evolved into some dull witted lout

Perfect way of explaining it! I know that I had!

My story is that I was consuming 6-8-10 sometimes 12 strong micro brew beers (6-8% alcohol) 4 - 5 nights a week. I stopped because I felt like shit all the time and knew I was gradually becoming worse. When I looked at it I decided it offered nothing positive towards my life. Although my consumption likely consisted of quite a bit less that what many here have shared I do feel an overwhelming sense of clarity with each passing day.

The clarity is amazing. At 36 and having consumed like I did for at least 18 years it's almost as if I was a drone just going through the motions of life. I find myself involved in a lot of introspection with the main question being attempted at answering is how did I get where I'm at. At this point it seems as if my current situation in life, although sucessful, is by through happenstance and a hell of a lot of basic pure luck.

I own a sucessful business in the Great Plains and employ between 11-15 people. I am now getting feedback from these employees that there is something different with me; they just can't figure it out. You see my drinking was for the most part behind closed doors late at night after the family was asleep. I could function fine but I felt like crap; numbed and consumed in my constant heavy head. Most of the time people only saw me consume 2 beers. I was good at hiding it. Proof of how good I was was when a few days ago my Wife observed that the same two beers were still in the refrigerator. She then commented on how she notices I've lost some weight. Then her latest comment is that she notices that I'm more plugged into her and our many children. Am I wrong for even keeping this away from her? Not sure but I know that no harm is being done with the new, or actually orginal, me that is presenting itself. Maybe someday. For right now it's my little secret that's providing me great enjoyment through the observations of others and how I interact with them and they with me now.

Back to the clarity issue. My mind is becoming so clear it's almost frightening. Sometimes I wonder if it verges on possibly on paranoia. I see the individuals who work for us in their daily grind and drudgery and wonder do they not see or expect more from life? Are they happy proceeding down their chosen career path in what resembles my own previous mindless drone state I was experiencing? Was that mindless drone state I was in that I medicated with alcohol and the state that I currently view them in without what appears to be any self-medication occurring to maintain, qualify me as a judgemental now? Maybe

If find myself now remembering the dreams of when I was a teenager. The things I had a passion for; hence the questioning of how I came to where I'm at. It's a little early but I am ready to uproot the family and pursue those dreams. It's like I've awaken while upon the downward descent of an Orwellian slide? I now see politicians on both sides in a highly skeptical light. I now see the current "machine" for what it is. A machine to control the masses of people into submission through multiple forms sedation. As a conservative libertarian I'm ready to check out of this country's current system altoghter and buy a tropical island.

I see liberties being taken from us on a continual and gradual basis in this country. Patrick Henry said "Different men often see the same subject in different lights." He also said, "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"

I'm sure I've revealed enough to raise some eyebrows, to be labeled paranoid schitzophrenic, or quite simply nuts. I'm almost excited to see where my head goes when I quit chewing tobacco later this month.

p.s. :new: