Newbies in need - Day 24

[retteacher]

It's after 2 AM & unfortunately have slipped again. Yesterday...Sundays are difficult for me. I feel pretty awful, physically & emotionally. All I can do is try again. Sorry.

[rustop61]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Mary dont be sorry. This is a struggle for all of us. You are so brave and have been such an inspiration to all of us. You have had a huge stretch of AF days under your belt so you know you can do it, this is just a glitch. It could be the Sunday thing, day to relax and the beast keeps telling you to have a drink to help you relax. Has anything happened in the last week that has upset you? Just a few thoughts.

Last year I had 2 six week AF stints but once I started to drink again I was back to square one. I stopped posting and even though I read the posts I did not participate. You will notice from when we started this thread that a lot of people have fallen away. Maybe they are just too busy or maybe they have started drinking again. It takes guts to do what you have just done so hang in there. Today is a fresh start and we are all behind you.

Rustop

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Mary,

I replied to your other thread, please read it. :h

RU and all newbies.

Happy Monday, a new beginning. I never understood why people hated Mondays. I guess because I really do like my work. (don't remind me when I am stuck in airports with delays, etc and griping)

Managed to stay AF yesterday, even though it was tough. However, it was the first "tough" day and I kept recalling my earlier vow that thoughts can't hurt me but alcohol can. That first sip of wine is deadly because I can't stop there, it is all or none for me.

It has been wonderful to go an entire week - omg I can't believe I have finally broken my record - sober, no hangovers, no regrets, no worrying. Just a bit of craving.

My husband chides me about using AF beer to get through the rough patches but I figure if that is what it takes. Any thoughts on that? Is it bad to use a crutch like that?

Tonight will be my first night in a hotel since going AF, though, and I am somewhat nervous. I WILL NOT DRINK. I WILL NOT GO NEAR THE HOTEL BAR. I will log into MWO and chat.

Hope all have a wonderful Monday and attain whatever your goals may be.

xx
Cindi

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Cindi: Thank you so much. It is tempting to not come back to MWO out of shame. I know if I do that I'll have very little hope & no incentive not to drink. I'm glad your weekend worked out so well. For now, if the AF beer helps, I would use it. I'm not a believer of giving up everything at once. It's hard enough to give up the drinking. Thank you, Mary

[OverIt2007]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Dear Mary. Im sorry to hear you are feeling down, but I know you will get back on the right track. We have all seen you do it before, so I know you will do it again! In case you have not read the other posts I have written to you on various threads, You were one of the main people who motivated me, and you still do! Dont let this slip F you up!

Ok, as for me. Today is starting Day 4. Mary I UNDERSTAND about Sundays because they are a HUGE weakness for me. Well yesterday was my first AF Sunday in years! I can usually make it through the early week fine, but get tripped up by Thurday, Friday, and by Sunday. Well that is always a drunk day. I am feeling happy to have made it through my first Sunday. So, why dont we all just look forward as of today alright? Past is past.

[OverIt2007]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Hey Cindi and Rustop. Are you in the double digits yet Cindi? Great job on getting through Sunday. As I posted above, yesterday was my first sober Sunday is literally YEARS! My pattern on Sundays since they are my only day off from work is always go out to eat somewhere and have wine! Yesterday I just said, you know what, Im really tired of doing that!

I agree, I LOVE Mondays, even if I have a slight hangover (which I do not today) because Mondays are a great day to start again. Im starting my diet today as well! Happy Monday everyone.

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Hi Mary, Rustop, Cindi and all to come.

Mary, please don`t go anywhere........I shudder at the thought........I think you leaving could possibly see you back drinking regularly again, and none of us want that. I`m going to just say what I feel, only because you mean so much to me.........your journey all started with tough self love, Mary.........you need to employ that tactic again.........you were over 2 mths sober........you know you can do this.........I know you can do this........you need to fill up the Sunday as obviously Sunday is now your danger zone. But please!!!.........don`t ever say you`re embarrassed........this is not any sort of competition...........this is about us all pulling together to help each other in our quest for a better life. I have enormous respect for you........you slipping hasn`t changed that in any way.

Cindi.........am sooooo proud of you. Like you say, tonight will see you in an hotel, so see you in chat.........far more fun than any old bar, right!!! lol

Have a great day all.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Overit,
Congrats for being on Day 4!!!

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Rustop, Star, Cindi, OI: I can't imagine what I would do wo/you. If I ever leave this site, I know what would happen: binge, binge, binge. That's why I don't stay away, even when I slip up. Thank you, Mary

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Mary, you are such an inspiration, when the going gets tough you stick it out. Me, well, you've probably worked it out for yourselves - I disappeared for a few days so that must mean I slipped - yep, you're right! Not major, but still I've slipped. Every day since Wed I've drank and what's more I'm lying about it to my husband. Not major I say, but enough
- 3-4 glasses per day. Too much. I'm so b......y angry though cause the weekend we went to Manchester I was doing so well and I was so positive that this time it felt different. We had a meal in the restaurant of the hotel we were staying in and my husband still drank and commented that because I wasn't "relaxed" without my wine, it affected his enjoyment! Now, only one week later he's counting my drinks and making comments that I don't particularly want to hear - mainly because they are true. He can't have it all ways surely?

Yep, I've slipped and then I find it so hard to get back on that wagon. It's like my brain just won't kick in to let's get this AF thing started again. Its's Monday pm, I'm alone in the house and hey presto, just what i didn't want to happen.....the wine's out and I'm getting nothing done except feeling sorry for myself.

This just can't go on, and I know it's only me who can make it any different.

Janicexx

[hart]

Newbies in need - Day 24

(((Mary))) and everyone else

I hit rock bottom myself. I got so drunk my husband had to help me out of the bathtub!!! This is my AF day 1. We can all do this w/each other's help.

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Janice & Hart: Yes, we'll do this together. I'm back to the ODAT method. Looking ahead doesn't work for me right now. Maybe later. Just for today, I'm making a decision not to drink. Mary

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Janice,

I really feel for you on the husband thing.

I am so lucky because mine does not really drink. As a matter of fact, he would probably break anyone's arm who tried to bring alcohol into the house right now.

I was telling him the story of Bluebell pouring the 25 year old Single Malt down the sink and the concerns everyone had about her hubby. He laughed but looked at me and said, well, obviously her husband just doesn't understand what it means to be an alcoholic. It doesn't matter if I bring a $2 bottle of wine into the house or a $200 bottle of wine. You will drink it and you will drink it all.

He did not say it meanly or hurtfully. He just simply understands.

I do wish your husband would thoughtfully not drink around you and not mention it and not talk about it and support you. That sure would make your journey a lot easier!!

I do have the same issue you do, though, because my daughter is a drinker. I make sure she knows it is hard for me to watch her drink. She tries to keep it to a minimum around me. I do not want to avoid seeing her, we are very close, but until she is ready to quit drinking, it is hard.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know, I feel for you on this. I am proud of you for trying despite having the constant double-sided pressure from him to drink but not-drink too much thing.

Take care,
Cindi

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 24

thanks, I really need this site right now. I'm struggling. I've got a couple of hours maximum before hubby is home and then I can pretend everything is okay and we're both having an AF day until Friday evening as agreed - except one of us has already broken that promise big time. Tomorrow has got to be daY 1.

Janicexxx

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 24

Janice,

Oh, been there done that.

I suggest you make some tea and take a hot bath. Soak it out of you and rest.

Take care, Janice. Make the REST of the day AF.

Cindi