Struggling big time.

[betty boop]

Struggling big time.

Moki, I get the hubby thing, He was my biggest critic when I was a drunk, but he tells me it is OK to join him when he wants a drink ........

I did my AF stint in January and am now moderating nicely ............

Good Luck guys I will be keeping an eye on you .......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

ps. Hi Janice .......

[Janice]

Struggling big time.

Thanks everyone for your response. I would sooooo love to be able to moderate. The thought of never having a drink again terrifies me! It certainly makes me feel sad to think that I can't ever enjoy a glass of wine with my hubby again or champas on Christmas Day. At the end of my 42AF days I planned to drink weekends only - no weekdays and I did at first, then it got complicated cause dad died and I was drinking any day, any time, any amount. According to my husband I should be able to drink 2/3 glasses wine Friday to Sunday then thats it until next Friday, just like him. I wish it was as easy as that. Trouble is that Friday night then begins on a Thursday night and that Sunday night ends on a Monday night etc etc. Before you know it the end of the weekend has met the beginning!! I'm just taking this one day at a time - definitely the phrase of the day!! I am also trying to see some positives in my behaviour today- i.e. 6/7 months ago I was not doing anything about it; 6 months ago I didn't count my drinks/bottles; 6 months ago it was normal for me to drink a bottle of wine every day; wake every night at 2am with anxiety/panic attacks; I could go on - the list is endless. It is an uphill struggle but the more AF days I can string together the better but I am not now going to beat myself up if I do drink because thats when I end up 'falling' rather than 'slipping'. A day at a time. Its 9pm now and I know I'm safe now, I won't drink tonight so I've had an AF day.

Thank you all for listening, I've gone on a bit, and thank you all for being there.

Janicexxx

[Guest]

Struggling big time.

Hi Janice,
Like you say, a slip is better than a fall..........6 mths ago you didn`t really question your drinking.........the fact that you now do question it is progess in itself.........the days you are not AF do not negate the days when you are. Continuing to make progress, nomatter how small is why we are all here.

Thinking of you,

Starlight Impress x

[paula]

Struggling big time.

Welcome Moki,
Janice you have not had an easy time recently, take care of yourself.
You have been a great help to me when I've been down.
One day at a time, is all any of us have.
Love Paula.x

[nancy]

Struggling big time.

I agree that it can be terrifying and discouraging to think of never drinking again.
To the point where you wind up doing worse. And that isn't right.

I think drinking on weekends only helps a lot. Though I don't agree that it is easy to just stick to 2 or 3 glasses. still, when you do it, it really helps your life a lot. Gone are the hungover days at work (can't remember if you still work). You get at least 4 clear days a week. and the habits of opening the wine as soon as you come home at night go away.
your body gets a break to clear out toxins.

Maybe you should try it again now that a bit of time has passed. I find that it's necessary to get strict with myself from time to time. I have done pretty well in terms of not overdoing it weekdays but some drinks have crept in. So, I decided no exceptions. I am not drinking at home on weekdays. I don't go out much weekdays and am undecided whether I should allow myself a drink on those few occasions.

I got back on track with my stricter regime starting this week. The other strict thing that helps me is to not follow a binge day with more binges. The day after is about water and healthwise it is better for your body to follow a binge with a day of nothing.

these are lifestyle modifications, not cures. But I think they help a lot.

[Hammer_OTG]

Struggling big time.

New and needing support

:new: Hi trying to go AF for just one week (for starters). Really have to stop destroying myself. Not many people I can turn to for help in this. Glad to be here.

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

Hammer,

Me too... I can't tell anyone about this. There's such a stigma in my family about alcohol problems (yet many of my family members are alcoholics -- strange). Anyway, I'm in for a week. I will have a hard time this week watching my husband drink wine, but I'm crossing my fingers. Good luck!

[debruce]

Struggling big time.

Hi all,
Well I am not doing well at all. I can't seem to get past this thing in my head that keeps telling me that I can moderate and I don't have to be AF. Some nights 1-2 is ok, but then a night like last night......bad. I got a bottle of wine with the intention of just having 1-2. Ended up drinking the whole thing.
I KNOW in my heart that I have to go AF, but how do I tell my head!!!!!
On Naltrexone, but looks like it has stopped working, going back to Dr on Tuesday so will ask for Campral and give that a try. Can't rely on meds though, have to get my head in the right place. Sick of being so disappointed with myself.
Have a good day all.:upset:

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

Sounds like me. I have heard from other members though, that after a long stint of AF (30 days being really long to me) that moderation is much easier. Also probably better, since that way the liver gets a chance to detox. You really need to start from stage 1, after your body has healed, and then I bet life will be easier. That's my goal, but gosh, here I am again starting on day 1 after 5 days of trying. There's a last time for everything though, so maybe last night was your last drink for a long time....

[debruce]

Struggling big time.

Thanks Mokigirl,
I know you are right, but it is just the getting there that is hard. I guess as long as we keep trying we are in there with a chance aye.
My head is hurting from all this indecision, so I MUST make a committment and stick to it.
Heres hoping that today is the start of that!!!

[Phoenix74]

Struggling big time.

Debruce
MAKE IT TODAY that is the start of it

xxx STRUGGLING, BUT DOING IT with you, HAMMER and MOKIGIRL

[Hammer_OTG]

Struggling big time.

Hey PHOENIX & MOKIGIRL it's huge to know I'm not going it alone. This is day one AF, I am trying to bust through it. I'm giving it my all for tonight. :thanks:

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

How'd it go, Hammer? I have not gone AF yet, but the last three days have been great because I only had 2 drinks per night the first two nights. Last night, I actually had 4 but we had friends over so it was an exception. The great thing though is that even though, on the first two nights, we had more alcohol in the house, I didn't WANT anymore. Once I started feeling like the alcohol was affecting me at all, I wanted to stop. That gave me a great feeling of confidence. Before, once I started feeling the alcohol, I wanted more. I don't know what the difference is now, but I'm happy. Myabe just reading these posts and seeing how alcohol can ruin our lives is making the difference. I will be AF today because I have to drive us all to a nighttime event.

Keep me posted on your progress, even if you haven't made any yet! It helps just to vent sometimes.

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

Hammer, still haven't heard how you're doing. This is hard! Nobody will tell you differently. I keep telling myself that. Nobody will ever say that breaking an addiction is anything other than a huge, life-changing challenge.

I know my performance isn't exactly exemplary, but at least I'm drawing a line somewhere, as opposed to just drinking myself sleepy! Tonight was hard... actually, being Saturday, all of today was hard. I didn't have a drink until 5 though, and then I limited myself to 3. I KNOW that's still not great, but I know it's better. I am taking baby steps! Right now I'm coherent and will remember everything that happens tonight. I can even watch a movie with my husband without "falling asleep."

I hope everyone is doing well. Good luck on Sunday to all!

[Garliclady]

Struggling big time.

Hi Janice
I was 3 days AF then fell back a bit and had a bottle of wine. I'll get back on track though. I'm determined to stop entirely but I know it's very hard.
I'll hang with you Janice, don't worry. We are all in this together. We can do it!!