Struggling big time.

[Garliclady]

Struggling big time.

Me too, Hammer
No one knows I'm coming to this site. I can't talk to anyone about my wine problem. I'm sure they all know though. It's a struggle but I know I can do it and so can you!

[Cinders]

Struggling big time.

Janice, Garlic, Debruce, Moki, and everyone else,

It sounds like everyone is really trying. That is great. The only failure is giving up trying to make things better.

After my lapse Thursday night, I have been AF, so I have lots of AF days behind me, even though I have to start over on Sept 28.

Each and every day AF is ONE DAY we did NOT hurt our livers, drown our poor kidneys, soak our brains, and hurt our psyche. Be positive and keep trying. Pretty soon AF days will be easier and easier.

I am shooting for an AF Oct and if I make it will be sooo proud, but if I don't but only lapse once or twice, surely that is better than a month of drunkeness.

So, onwards and upwards everyone!!

Cindi

[Guest]

Struggling big time.

Hi guys,
Just want to offer you guys my support and encouragement........things will all fall into place for you........it just takes it to be our right time........every single AF or moderate day you manage is a step nearer our shared goal.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

Garliclady,

I LOVE that name, by the way, garlic being one of my favorite foods!
I have always had a problem with getting past the 3 day mark. I don't know what it is about the 4th day, but even last week, my 4th day of moderating was the hardest and I was in a terrible mood all day. Now I know I used to drink to cheer myself up and escape those 4-day jitters.

I am shooting for 4 days AF in a row this week, starting today. I wonder if it will sort of feel like coasting after that, or if it will still be difficult.

Cindi, I agree with you that we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. Every day that we are not drunk is an improvement! I hope you make 31 days AF during the month of October! I'm cheering you on!

Starlight, thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I don't know that I will ever be as strong as you, but you are an inspiration.

I'm going to just go as many days AF as I can, and keep track that way, rather than shoot for a whole stint in a row. I'm not sure I would make that goal and I don't want to set myself up to feel like a failure.

Thanks everyone!

Moki

[Janice]

Struggling big time.

Okay, confession time. When I started this thread last Monday, I honestly wanted to get some Af days under my belt. 4+ Af days I think I said until the weekend! Well, I didn't make it and if I'm honest, I know - even though the volume is nowhere near to what I was drinking in April - I know I'm slipping back into old habits.

Tomorrow will be the first of a new month. My life has seen many changes over the last few months so now is an excellent time for change regarding my drinking habits. I'll see you on newbies in the morning!!!!

Janicexx

[mokigirl]

Struggling big time.

Good for you, Janice! I'm still finding my feet, so I'll let you lead the way....

Moki

[Hammer_OTG]

Struggling big time.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Hi all!
Sorry I haven't answered Moki. I have been trying to keep myself busy, REAL busy so as not to have an excuse to drink. I also don't go on this site while my husband is around.
I started off on this site trying to go AF, but by the second day I broke down and had a couple glasses of wine or something like that. The next day was somewhat of a repeat but for me that is very restrained and pretty good. Right now a whole week AF may be a lofty goal. Alcohol is all around me and always has been. Growing up half my family were drinkers and the other half were bartenders, and as a whole both halves were: miserable. I started drinking incredibly young and have a profound tolerance thanks to a lifetime daily routine of mostly liquor and beer. Now I am starting to feel like my body is finally giving out, several doctors have told me to either quit altogether or at least cut back. Socially this is gonna be tough, thanks to our professions my husband and I are in settings where we are constantly drinking. All our friends and colleagues drink A LOT. Everywhere I go and everything I do involves drinking. Short of changing my identity and moving to an Amish community, I don't think I can avoid alcohol or the people in my life (i.e.: husband & friends) who love it and love drinking with me ...regardless of how sick or messed up we get. I'd still love alcohol too if I didn't feel it was somehow ruining my life. Right now I am hating alcohol, and myself for needing it. But I also hate the "idea" of never having another drink again. Somehow that scares me as much as slowly drinking myself to death, (which I seem to be doing). I tried AA a couple of different times, it has never worked for me. In fact, if I may be honest, I had a couple of real sour experiences with various personalities in that program that left me a bit resentful. Anyway, with that said, I did not have one drop of booze today and plan to abstain tomorrow as best I can. I feel a real kinship with a lot of people on this board and I am so grateful to whatever led me to this site. Thanks for letting me ramble!! :thanks:

[Hammer_OTG]

Struggling big time.

mokigirl;201760 wrote: How'd it go, Hammer? I have not gone AF yet, but the last three days have been great because I only had 2 drinks per night the first two nights. Last night, I actually had 4 but we had friends over so it was an exception. The great thing though is that even though, on the first two nights, we had more alcohol in the house, I didn't WANT anymore.

That is really encouraging! Kinda what I went though on Day 2 and Day 3. I am trying to be very conscientious even if I do break down. Started AF again today so it'll be a Do-Over. hopefully I'll make it AF til the weekend.