So hi. (well, now what?). I wasn?t always like this. Years ago I ran my own Tae Kwon Do school, I played a mean rock & roll guitar, life was good.
I think I started drinking years ago when I met this woman who wanted to have a baby so she could live on welfare and child support. I didn?t know this until she told me she was pregnant with my child. That?s when I discovered the numbing effects of alcohol. So, the years went on, drinking went on. I drank through the bad times and the good times and the any and every times. (Today I have a beautiful teen age daughter who is the absolute love of my life).
Now I?m blessed with my beautiful live-in/domestic partner/girlfriend. She is an angle. We have her teen age son 24/7. That can be trying at times. I have my daughter every other weekend. I miss her terribly between visits.
Now we have this mortgage like you hear about on the news. The interest rate went sky high, the value of the home went lower than dirt and when the next rate adjusts, in January, it?s going to be impossible to keep. No stress there.
So, I?m saying I could find more reasons to drink than you could shake a stick at. At night I feel like I?m going 100 mph inside my gut. So I drink to slow down. Some nights it takes more wine than others to slow down enough to sleep. If I don?t drink myself to sleep, I don?t sleep. I?ve read a lot of self help stuff (i.e Conversations With God, The Secret, etc) and they all sound wonderful but I?m still drinking myself to sleep, day after day.
I went to the Doc?s for sleeping pills and I?ve read the side effects and withdrawals, they sound far worse than a belly full of wine.
I know I can?t go on drinking myself to sleep like this, and I don?t see me NOT drinking either. I don?t know what to do.
I went to AA a few times, years ago, and I never NEEED a drink more than when I came out of those meetings.
So I found this web site (or this web site found me) and I feel a glimmer of hope. So, now what?
I?m sorry that I?ve rambled on so long. But that?s me.
PLEASE feel free to ramble back
Thank you very much?
Joe. :new:
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