Mad at myself

[nancy]

Mad at myself

Welcome to MWO.

I think you have the answer to your own problems. You realize you are in this cycle of temporary self-deception. I think the self-deception becomes even more obvious when you are writing notes on this website. If you keep making excuses, not progressing, and you find yourself writing the same comments over and over again, somehow awareness becomes even higher and you start to want to make real improvements.

I hope you gain much from becoming a member here.

[newjen]

Mad at myself

Hi Auntie,

Your story is so much like mine – I am new here too. We can do this together, all of us.

Hugs to everyone ((( )))

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

I think I made the first night!

I was so close to buying wine tonight but I had lemonade instead and took the dog for a long walk. I think getting on here earlier today was one of the reasons I was able to resist too. It feels so good to know that I'm not struggling alone which I have been doing for a long time. I wish us all luck for tomorrow!!

[cuckoosnest83]

Mad at myself

Auntie, I'm on my first night too. Your story sounds so much like me. I always woke up with the best intentions but could never make it past the liquor store. I almost broke tonight but had to get on line to troubleshoot my new computer. I couldn't access this site and I knew I needed it tonight. The troubleshooting took over an hour and it got my mind off of it. Wish you all the best.

[tinker]

Mad at myself

I understand that totally! I keep saying I only drink a couple of glasses of wine at night, but that's not being honest. I don't drink a whole bottle, probably because I buy such a big bottle, but it would be easy to drink a normal size bottle of wine in a sitting. I wish you well and you appear to really want to quit, and I think that makes the difference between us.

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

Still here

thanks to everybody who sent messages of support. I'm thinking about all of you too. It really isn't easy and it helps to know others are in the same boat. It's my third day today and have been thinking about wine but plan to substitute a latte with whipped cream! So far I feel pretty good but don't know what will happen when I go over 3 days. It's been a long time since that's happened.
Will check you all out later tonight or tomorrow. Today is day 3 AF!

[Guest]

Mad at myself

Well done on the 3 days auntieg.........keep going!!!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

A whole week AF!

Hello, I feel so great to have gone a whole week! I've been really busy and several times thought about a glass of wine, but then I remember that dull feeling and the hangovers. I got the kudzu but haven't even used it yet. I may try it if I later decide to try and moderate. Right now the good feeling about not being under the influence has kept me going! Along with all the great thoughts I read on this forum. My recycling box is almost empty

[Phoenix74]

Mad at myself

hello there

Hey Auntieg

Congrats on what a string of AF days :goodjob: soooooooo well done you!!!!!!!!!

Great when going to the bottle bank isn't embarassing isn't it I know that feeling

Well done again, great going!

[CaptJBean]

Mad at myself

There is a great place for meetings at Scottsdale Rd & Shea Blvd. There is also, I believe a Dr. Albert Ellis place in Scottsdale. There is a lot of things to do there. But, I have always felt that the resort atmosphere contributes to drinking.
I already have enough people making me the "designated bad guy" When I do it to myself it just compounds the depression and the drinking.

[retteacher]

Mad at myself

I too had a very similar story to yours. I have had some struggles but more success here at MWO than I've had in a long, long time. Keep coming & posting. It's been a godsend for me. Mary

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

Thanks! It really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be!! Today I've been feeling a little headachy tho. Might be my sinuses!

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

I'm still in!

Just wanted to share that today is my 12th AF day! I almost backslid on the way home from work today but decided not to even go by the store. Came home and took the dog for a walk. Plus I hated the thought of admitting I didn't make it!
I hope everyone else who started October Fest is doing well too.
Love
Auntie

[BILLYJACK]

Mad at myself

AUNTIE,
I was once sober for a yr and a half than got bored running around not having any ''fun''.....Believe me, being sober for a year and a half was a GAZILLION times better than ANYTIME I went back out and ''tested the waters'' again....I've only been sober for 9 days starting today, and believe me when I tell you that im determined to go ALL THE WAY this time.I just cannot endure the PAIN anymore.

It NEVER gets any better once we go back out. Everybody has a differant story to tell, but in the end, our REAL culprit is allways the BOOZE or DRUGS.. I read your opening post and I have to tell you how VERY PROUD I am of YOU. You made it this far, just continue doing WHATEVER it takes to remain sober, and remember, if you get weak, we are allways going to be here for you.Stop by MWO before the liquor store.

God Bless!

[auntiegriselda]

Mad at myself

Thanks Billy Jack! I guess that is what I was thinking.....It's Friday night and I deserve a steak and glass of red wine. Only trouble is it would have turned into a bottle and I'd be feeling all yucky today. I did get right on MWO when I got home. It's really funny how much that helps!!