Can't control the amount I drink

[fly]

ok I really don't know what to say. I like social drinking, but my husband has been gone for over a year and I find myself drinking after the kids go to bed. But I never seem to stop until I am just drunk. It seems most of the people I have read on here drink wine. but I am a beer drinker. I don't seem to have to reason to stop when I have had enough. I don't think that I am so far gone, but I could be and don't know it. The stress of 2 ADHD toddlers and a hubby in Iraq just leads me to drink when they go to bed. What do I do???? I dont' want to give alcohol up all together, but I can't seem to moderate what I drink.

[fly]

Can't control the amount I drink

I ran out of beer so I got some of hubby's liquer that he left. I cant' seem to stop drinkng until I pass out. What is wrong with me???

[KateH1]

Can't control the amount I drink

Hi Fly and welcome,

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I am glad that you found your way here. There are people here that drink beer, wine and spirits, we are a group of equal opportunity drinkers.

One of the main reasons we start worrying about our drinking is when we can no longer predetermine how much we will drink. When we cannot or will not stop. I am sure that you see this throughout these threads.

I encourage you to stick around, join us in chat, post, ask questions, this is a great group. We are here for you.

Wishing you well,
Kate

[Determinator]

Can't control the amount I drink

Fly, you fit right in! so many of us have trouble finding the 'off switch' after imbibing. Kate's suggestions are what mine would be
Welcome!

[Guest]

Can't control the amount I drink

Hi fly and welcome.
I understand that you have a lot of stress to deal with, with hubby away and 2 ADHD wee ones to cope with on your own, but you`re only doing what we all used to do and that is using drink as a form of escapism. The point I`m trying to make is that drinking will not change your situation at all........even if you go to bed totally pissed, you`re still going to waken to 2 ADHD kids and a hubby who is away.

Many of us cannot moderate........I am one such person. I think you would be best to try the recommended 30 AF days and see how you go from there. If then you try to moderate and fail, perhaps you should consider abstaining for good. The thought of never drinking again used to fill me with terror, but it`s really not as bad as we anticipate.........I actually LIKE not drinking now.

I also think you need to find alternative ways to relax and spoil yourself a little, so as not to turn to the booze to unwind when the kids are down for the night.

Wishing you love and strength for your journey.

Starlight Impress x

[satori]

Can't control the amount I drink

HI fly,

Welcome :welcome:

Just what the others said really, - you have found a great group of people here who have all been where you are at right now!

The advice of Ms Impress up there is good - I would try to go alcohol free (AF) for 30 days. Only the first three or four days are really tough because it takes that long to fully rid your system of alcohol.
If you can tough it out for the four days or so - it get a lot easier!

When I first arrived here - I too was filled with dread at the thought of having to give up drinking!
But - due tho the help of the great people here - I have not had any alcohol now for 77 days - and - guess what?
I am enjoying life fully for the first time in many many years.
Being AF is nothing to dread at all - it is actually bl**dy great.
You become free of all the stress and guilt that goes with living with a drinking problem.

I urge you to give it a try.

When the going gets tough - just come on here and talk to us!
Someone is here 24/7 - and whoever it is, they will understand exactly what you are going thru'

One last thing - in the early days it is good to try to PLAN every minute of your day with activities that stop you drinking.
Don't look too far ahead - just concentrate on staying AF for the day ( hell do it by the hour or by the minute if it helps!!).

If you look into the future - the task gets too big and daunting - break it up into manageable chunks - I'm sure you could manage not to drink for an hour!

If you just keep doing that, - soon you have not drunk for a day - and then a week and so it goes on.

Thats all it takes!

Good luck

Love

satori
xxx

[retteacher]

Can't control the amount I drink

Dear Fly: When I began drinking alone, I began sliding down a very slippery slope. The rituals around hiding & sneaking drinks became almost as addictive as the booze. MWO has been unbelievably successful for me. I've been more sober (not perfect) than I've been in a long, long time. Keep coming. Mary

[Janice]

Can't control the amount I drink

I just want to say hi and welcome. Like Star has already said, drink has become your escape. You're certainly not on your own - MWO is an amazing site. Tonight, why not try getting the kids to bed and instead of that beer, log on here and read and post...... it really does help!! Best wishes Janicexxx

[jon1133]

Can't control the amount I drink

hi fly!!
big welcome:O)
i listned to the above peoples advice..
i am like you!
the first 3 and 4 days were torture but they passed and each day got easier and sleep became easier,i just keep it real simple dont take one drink a day at a time! its the first one that gets me drunk!!
starting day 19 today just not drinking today!!
good luck to you and best wishes..jon..

[Guest]

Can't control the amount I drink

Well done jon. Proud of you!!

Starlight Impress x

[jon1133]

Can't control the amount I drink

:O) thanks mate..x

[FindingMyGrace]

Can't control the amount I drink

Hi Fly and Welcome- You are definitely going through a very stressful time in your life and I think this group you have found pn MWO will be able to help you through it.
I just joined MWO this week and I am on my third day AF- taking the advice one day at a time. I live alone and my children are grown so it makes it much easier to do what I want unless I have company over,and then I hide a little. But then I'm back by myself and it is too easy to slide that slope. I have a cocktail party tomorrow night and I have decided to decline, but I have a dinner birthday that I must go to Friday night and I don't know yet how to handle it. I wish sooooooo much I could just moderate - just be a normal person. My father is an alcholic and I see him and I know I am not nearly that bad , but am so afraid I am headed there. I keep thinking of Starlight Impress' advice - 30 days AF and then moderate- maybe we will find our off switch again during the 30 days .

[vino_grrl]

Can't control the amount I drink

i always worry when i see people saying 'well ... i'll go AF for 30 days, then moderate.' as if moderation will somehow become possible for you just by taking a break. maybe it will for a few. but, for most of us, as soon as you go back, it's very easy to slip back into old patterns without other forms of support (lots of exercise, improved diet, supplements like kudzu and, if necessary, meds).

welcome fly ... it's great that you found your way here. i -- like many others on the list -- have lost my off-switch on a number of occasions. i'm only just now finding it again (am down to 2.5 a night after drinking a bottle of wine or more a night ... and hoping to hit AF for a while when some suppps show up). you aren't at all alone. but get some medical help if you can ... don't try to do it all on your own given the stresses you're under (that's an almost surefire way to fail, then feel rotten about yourself for failing. when you're drinking a lot every night, withdrawal/abstaining is insanely tough). and remember that the MWO message board is all about following some form of the MWO out plan ... get the book. try what it recommends. it will help. really.

[retteacher]

Can't control the amount I drink

Hi FFGrace & Everyone: I must say, just for the record, that I cannot moderate. I tried for years & years. Never worked. I have no "off" switch. FFGrace, as far as the party you're going to: I went to a few parties during the summer & stayed AF. It wasn't easy. Going into the party w/a large bottle of water or tea helped. The first few minutes at a party are the hardest for me...especially when the host asks what I want. Once I'm settled in, it got easier. I also pictured myself drinking & obssessing about how I could get more & more to drink.

I have 2 social events this weekend. One is at my own home (I actually find that harder). And one is at a friends'. I haven't thought too much about it in advance, but as I get closer to the party, I'll make a plan. I just laid in a lot of my favorite soda. If someone asks why I'm not drinking (usually nobody cares), I usually say I felt a headache coming on.

Good Luck, Mary

[FindingMyGrace]

Can't control the amount I drink

Whew - that was close

Thanks reteacher and Vino girl - I did skip the cocktail party tonight which was no big deal - I just didn't want to deal with the temptation. Then funny enough, after coming home from work I almost didn't make it - I was soooooo tempted. Everything inside kept saying just pour a glass of wine, you've been 3 days AF and that's good - the sun is setting you can sit and relax have some wine blah, blah, blah......
I had my L - Glutamine and Kudzo and kept busy. I finally went in a made myself a really healthy dinner - fresh mushroom soup, steak and asparagus - and guess what ? the craving went away. It is 9o pm Florida time and I did it ! day four and I did it! :yay: