I'm back..

[JMT]

Well I haven't posted in awhile because I've been pretty confused and pretty messed up. I WAS doing good and this past weekend (which is my hard time) I really wanted a beer. So, instead of denying myself my hubby went and just got a six pack I asked him to go so I wasn't tempted to get more and I just had 2 Sat night and 2 Sun night. I thought, hmm it seems as though the more I fight to stay away from it, the more I want it so I'll just have a little and it worked!
BUT, yesterday I screwed up BIG time, I was home alone, bored, lonely and wanted to drink so I drank 2 bottles of wine. I feel soo bad about it. The strange thing is, is that I didn't really want to drink it I don't know why I did. Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what to do. I can't walk around everyday counting the days, and focusing on it so much it makes me want it more. I'm reading the book and just finished another book called..."The easy way to stop drinking" (ok this is where you laugh) done??? LOL Ok, anyway the book was REALLY good and talks about looking at alcohol for what it truely is...poison. He says you wouldn't take arsenic everyday would you? Hmm that way of thinking worked for me for a few days, then I don't know what happened. So I essentially drank 2 bottles of poison yesterday....UGH what to do, what to do.
I want to thank you all though for being such wonderful people! I've read so many posts and all the love and support here is amazing! :thanks:

[Hammer_OTG]

I'm back..

Don't beat yourself up about it. I know exactly what you mean by not feeling you want to drink and then you end up doing it anyway. The way I have been able to not focus so much on counting days is by keeping as busy as possible, almost so I don't have time to obsess about it. I started going to the gym again also. If I keep real busy and am exhausted at the end of the day I go to bed earlier which keeps me out of trouble. It's great waking up with no hangover. I don't want to go back to the old me ever again, but it's a struggle.
Hang in there, and keep trying. That's what I'm doing.

[betty boop]

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Cuddles, :welcome: back .......

You can't change the past so let it go, but you are in control of the future .... you CAN do this cuddles ...... be strong!!!!

[JMT]

I'm back..

Thank you!! ~~HUGS~~ I work out hard I'm a cyclist and put in anywhere from 200-300 miles a week but it's starting to effect that to so it's gotta stop. I've been saying that for years though, but it IS getting better, slowly but surely.

[retteacher]

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Cuddles: Keep coming here & posting. I find that helps me tremendously when I'm in the midst of thinking about drinking. Mary

[Determinator]

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Cuddles nice to see you back.. wowser that's a LOT of miles on a bicycle...sure you didn't mean Harley? wow again.
what I do if I'm home alone and starting to feel tempted or depressed is take 5grams+ of Lglutamine (yes GRAMS, so that's at least 5,000mg) mixed in a little juice and then go do something....before I know it I've forgotten all about it and doing great.
At least you didn't go on a multi-day binge and you're right back here...bravo!

[Blondie_grrrl]

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Hi Cuddles
Sorry to hear about your slip up but get right back up and do what you have to do -- no use beating yourself up about it. I have to comment, however, on your book choice -- I also recently read "EasyWay" and I wanted to throw the stinking thing in the trash and set it afire!! I am not kidding! It read to me like a warped, narcissistic, bully's self-rant. I could barely choke through it. *Whew!* Guess I had to get that out of my system! That said, if it works for you, I say go for it and keep reading ... but I did have to laugh when I saw your post, because my reaction to the book was just the opposite! Actually it pains me that it's on a shelf in the house, so I should really toss the beast and mourn the $15 I spent on it. :H Much more importantly: GOOD LUCK TO YOU and be healthy, however you choose to be inspired.

[JMT]

I'm back..

Blondie_grrrl;203631 wrote: Hi Cuddles
Sorry to hear about your slip up but get right back up and do what you have to do -- no use beating yourself up about it. I have to comment, however, on your book choice -- I also recently read "EasyWay" and I wanted to throw the stinking thing in the trash and set it afire!! I am not kidding! It read to me like a warped, narcissistic, bully's self-rant. I could barely choke through it. *Whew!* Guess I had to get that out of my system! That said, if it works for you, I say go for it and keep reading ... but I did have to laugh when I saw your post, because my reaction to the book was just the opposite! Actually it pains me that it's on a shelf in the house, so I should really toss the beast and mourn the $15 I spent on it. :H Much more importantly: GOOD LUCK TO YOU and be healthy, however you choose to be inspired.

Oh, trust me for the most part I didn't like his attitude, I DEFINATLY agree with you on that one. I just liked the way it gave you another way to look at alcohol. The end of it really ticked me off but I'll read anything at this point that may help. Thank you for the kind words though!