I've met someone who I think I could spend my life with - but although he met me (and we were bar friends for over a year) he's not too happy with my drinking. It's so hard and I feel so lonely because I have so many problems and I can't talk to him about it. If he knew how bad my cravings were he'd freak out - and totally push me into some kind of rehab.
I have so much to tell but I don't want this post to go on too long. I just love the fact that I can be totally honest here - and everyone else here is so honest with how they're feeling and how hard it is to be in this position!
My ultimate goal is moderation - I just don't want to give up the booze totally - it makes me feel so much better (although it has so many negative consequences). Although my self-esteem is currently in the toilet (I am hungover and I drank SOOO much last night) - I feel like I could do the mod thing, I just need to get control of my cravings! I can go for so many days w/o alcohol but the when I go out (which is what I've been looking forward to all week) I just get so trashed!
God! I feel like I could write so much more about how I am and how I'm feeling. I'm just so relieved to get some of my thoughts out. I'll leave it at that for now.
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