Failed my first test

[Beaches]

Failed my first test

Cheryl I have listened to the CD's and I listen to them when I am going to bed at night. I have 3 kids and work full time so that's the only time I have to listen to them. I have the original set and the one for mothers. I have mainly listened to the clearing and hypno ones. I can tell you that I do feel better in the mornings when I do listen. Best of luck to you.

[rapala]

Failed my first test

Hi all- I have yet to go AF since I started reading last week, but I have definitely cut back and feel a little better about that. I have been listening to the cds.. I think they are good for anyone who really believes in the sub-conscience mind. They are kinda spendy so make sure you would have time for them. I have been listening before I go to sleep. I have a son who still naps in the afternoon so I listen to a little then and then more at night. If nothing else it really helps me unwind and relax. Why is it we let other peoples problems become our own? I hate that.

[MissCheryl]

Failed my first test

Hi again all...

Well, last week I did finally "end" that cycle of "finish off what's left, now need more, drink too much, finish it the next night, now need more".... I was AF Wednesday and Thursday. Like my 6 AF days the prior week, I felt great. :thumbs:

Yesterday, Friday, I did buy wine for the evening. My husband is out of town until Sunday night. This thought of "evening to myself, get some wine".... where does that come from? It's not like I won't/can't drink in front of him. I don't think he has any clue how much wine I have consumed in the past. It's like I feel I need/deserve some sort of weekend treat/reward... Anyway, brought home two bottles of Chardonnay. Drank almost all of it. Today, went and got another two bottles which I KNOW I will most likely finish off tonight. But, then my plan is that tomorrow night - nothing.

Weekend-only drinking... that's my thought. Sun-Thurs nights, NO WINE!! Fri-Sat, I'll let myself have it. I know it's still not good to drink 4 bottles over 2 days. But, I'm "making deals" with myself that if I don't drink these days, I CAN drink these other days. I guess I'm trying to find ANY way to still get my wine. :yeahright:

Anyway, I DID feel better that I was able to cut things off this past Wednesday. I'm probably being unrealistic about this weekend drinking idea.... I KNOW the best thing would be to quit entirely....

I guess the test will be tomorrow evening - Sunday - work night/school night, will I be able to NOT go to the store for "just a little bit more". I surely hope so....

Again, I know that even drinking on the weekends is not such a great plan.... I guess I'm just grasping at anything that might work - and, of course, still allow me my wine.

Thanks for listening to my "update"... however poor/sad it probably is!!!
Cheryl

[Flip]

Failed my first test

Send a PM to Lucky I think she's big on the CDs (or is it Lushy), I can't remember... lol

[slightlysuze]

Failed my first test

Cheryl....you said you felt great when you had your AF days...hold on to that feeling! :goodjob:

You sound as though you are 'bargaining' with yourself as to what speed you will go at to continue hurting yourself with alcohol. I know that feeling....I think most people here will too. Is it a good thought process for you? :l

I haven't used the CDs but I am sure that sorting this thing out in the head is as important as sorting out the physical dependence in the body.

Hope you find a good way to help yourself. Come to MWO often...it's a powerhouse of knowledge, kindness, support and fun!

Suze x

[Guest]

Failed my first test

Hi MissCheryl,
Good to see that you`ve managed to get some AF days in, but like you say, 4 btls/wine over the weekend is simply wayyyyy too much.

I can relate to where you`re coming from as when I first began to address my drinking, I thought I would try mods (me???.......mods??? LMAO)........the reason I tried mods was because I was terrified to consider a completely AF way of life. When attempting mods, I struck all sorts of deals/bargains with myself, and I managed just to drink at weekends for about a month........wasn`t long before I was back drinking every night again though.

I think due to the amount you`re drinking at the weekend, there is a real danger that you`ll shortly be back to drinking every night again. It would maybe be best to give your body a good rest and go for the recommended 30 days of abs before attempting mods. After 30 days, you may even find you like being AF, as I now do.

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl! Did you take over my computer keyboard, because everything you've written exactly describes me and my "situation"?! I too have been struggling lately, I thought I could do "just the weekend" but then on Saturday I'd have three-quarters of a bottle of wine left and of course I needed to finish that on Sunday, but what's the point of not quite a full bottle, so I'd buy a fresh one on Sunday (which meant nearly another two) and often I would actually buy another two on Sunday, which meant some left over for Monday...blah de blah de blah.........!! I tried taking the Kudzu, but it made me quite ill, I had the symptoms of a really bad "urinary" infection, like cystitis, really bad pain, so I've been too scared to try that again although I have to say it did kill the cravings. Not tried the CDs, I'd like to try and beat this on my own terms, which I know from experience is not always realistic. I do however like the suggestion of telling everyone, especially myself, that I'd like to stop for a while due to health concerns and to lose weight, which I am also very depressed about, so it's sunny Sunday, don't feel too bad, and (another) fresh start today. I will not drink any wine next week whatsoever - I needed this wakeup call:thanks: It just helps to write it down, sorry I've not been much help, take care everyone and keep on keeping on!

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed my first test

Starlight - you said it exactly as always - I intend to follow your good advice and go for 30 days. Thanks missus!!!

[auntiegriselda]

Failed my first test

I can relate

Boy can I ever relate to that cycle of having just a part of a bottle of wine left, stopping for an extra bottle, which leaves another half...etc. etc. etc. The lesson for me here has been that I can't go mods, at least not right now. I can't just have a glass or two, because after I've done that, I don't care any more if I finish the bottle! I also don't care if I eat too much or the wrong things or get exercise or any of that.
Miss Cheryl, I think you should just tighten up the old bootstrap and take it one day at time AF. Come back here often for support. I tried the social drinking cd last night and it was nice. Don't know if it'll help in the long run or not but I enjoyed doing it. I don't have the other cds.
I'm in my 14th day AF and feel SO much better...both physically and about myself. I have the kudzu but haven't tried it yet. Feeling better has been a strong motivator. And the people on this site are so great. We'll all try to help you. :huggy
Love,
Auntie

[MissCheryl]

Failed my first test

Thank you everyone for your replies and support... When I read over my own post I just had to shake my head at "only drink on the weekends, 4 bottles"... what am I thinking?!?! :egad:

Starlight you are so right... I need to do 30 days AF, and then maybe start seeing what, if anything, I can handle. And that will start TODAY! Thank you for reminding of what I really know deep down....

I'm starting something new tomorrow that I hope will help keep me on track with being AF. I've put on ~40 pounds over the last year. :eeks: I think alot of that is the useless empty calories of all the wine. Plus, after too many drinks I'll stay up late and just eat all kinds of crap. Anyway, I really want to get this weight off. I belong to a gym and see a trainer ~2x/week. They've just kicked off a new program - "BodyBugg". If any of you watch "The Biggest Loser" on TV, they use it. It's a little device that you wear on your right arm and it tracks every single calorie you burn all day. You then download that info onto your PC into the BodyBugg program. Also, in the program you log everything you eat (and a bunch more stuff). I won't get too long-winded about it, but it's really cool! I'm excited to get going on it, and I certainly don't want to log in 4 bottles of wine over a weekend for all to see!! (My trainer can also login to see how I'm doing.) So, I'm hoping it will be yet another tool to keep me away from the Chardonnay.:thumbs:

The greatest "tool" however is certainly this board and all of you. I know when I come here and post it won't be long before the support comes rolling in.... I so appreciate it and I hope I can return the kindness to someone else someday. :happyheart:

Thanks again... you're all the BEST!
Cheryl

[toughintexas]

Failed my first test

Hey MissCheryl, you could be Toughintexas too....boy, can I identify! Isn't it funny how you think its "just you" then you see how many of us "normal" folks, can have such a battle! Whew....I'm doing AF too, after mods was very successful for me, with only a couple of slip-ups, but as I've posted on the 30 day thread, I felt my resolve slipping away....I have a 3 yr. cancer check-up coming up, on the E. Coast...so always that serves up a big TRIGGER...I'm NOT going down that road, so I'm AF'ing to be on the safe side....I will tell you that if you'll get some really good nutrients, like at the health food store, mixed with good vits/mins, it'll help you sooo much...we've depleted alot of nutrients, and it'll help with your work-outs too...I've been going to the gym everyday to loose a few too, and yoga one day a week....at the health food store also, get the powdered L-glut...it helps muscle recovery after work-outs, so you aren't sore/stoved up, AND the added benefit, it curbs cravings....drink some before the gym, and when you get home, at that time you want to pop the cork...drink it down, and have a glass of green tea or something, and give it time to work....and the GABA is awesome too....I use the Calms Powder to sleep....its not a big investment, and something we really need after the abuse we've caused the system, plus, it boosts your work-out....when you start loosing, and feeling stronger, its a big motivation to keep on keeping on...sounds like BodyBugg is GREAT....Glad you are here, this is a great family! We're right here beside you plodding on too!

[MissCheryl]

Failed my first test

Hi tough... Thanks for the tips about L-Glut and nutrients. I take a very high quality vitamin already - Isotonix. It's powder form and I drink it first thing in the am. I did pick up some L-Glutamine at GNC. It's capsules. I have a question though... the bottle says "As a dietary supplement, take one capsule up to four times daily, an hour before meals or on an empty stomach." So, I've been taking one in the am with my vitamin drink. But, I've only waited 15-20 minutes before having my coffee (with 1/2 & 1/2). I'd like to take it more often, and I could certainly take it an hour before eating, but how do I know when my stomach is "empty"? Or should I just not worry about that and just take it throughout the day?

Also, is what you're talking about different than the capsules I have? How often do you take the L-Glut? Thanks for any advice you can offer!
Cheryl

[Guest]

Failed my first test

Am sure you`ll do famously MissCheryl........I have been estranged from Chardonnay for a whole 11 wks. now.........am happy to report I have begun divorce proceedings!!! lol

Starlight Impress x