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**mokigirl** · October 6, 2007, 11:51 PM

Failed my first test

Cheryl,

You're alright. You learned an important lesson! That's what this is all about. You'll start again tomorrow with even more commitment than you had today. Don't hate yourself. Hate the wine!

Get a good night's sleep and go for a long walk tomorrow morning to walk the wine off.

And also -- I have found that family or friend's crises always push me into "drink" mode. Just recognize your triggers, but they will always be hard. Also, we are programmed by so much of our society to think that a good meal deserves a nice bottle of wine. You didn't get here by yourself, you know! There are a lot of influences out there that you have to combat, not just yourself. It sounds like if you went 6 days, that you are strong already, so you'll be fine.

-Moki

**slightlysuze** · October 7, 2007, 04:45 AM

Failed my first test

Cheryl...I should think everyone here has done that. And some of us very recently (blush).

Like Moki said, it's important to know your triggers and have a strategy for coping with them. Also.....you may come to think that there is no such thing as 'just one glass' for you. It's good to find out things about ourselves!

Drink lots of water today and just let the 'mistake' go. You'll feel better soon.

Suze x

**Guest** · October 7, 2007, 06:06 AM

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl,
No point in going over old ground........forget last night........it`s done and dusted.
Don`t know if your goal is AF or mods, but think if it`s mods, it really is best to do a minimum of 30 days abs first. Then again, you may feel so good after doing the 30 days, that you`ll decide just to carry on with AF.

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

**ducky** · October 7, 2007, 06:09 AM

Failed my first test

Cheryl,

I don't think you failed, you slipped. Don't negate the 6 AF days you had, which was great. So you did great for 6 days then slipped. If you are like a lot of us that is much better than in the past. So consider it a lesson and just hop right back on.

:h

**rustop61** · October 7, 2007, 09:27 AM

Failed my first test

Cheryl

Dont beat yourself up. There are so many of us in the same boat. Come join us in the ODAT thread.

Rustop

**mitch96** · October 7, 2007, 03:41 PM

Failed my first test

misscheryl we all:durn: up now and then we are humans not robots we are designed to:durn: up never mind it takes me fifteen minutes to type one line and thats me sobz:H

be good and hang in ther from scotland mitch

**MissCheryl** · October 7, 2007, 06:43 PM

Failed my first test

You are all the BEST!!

Hi there....

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.... I so needed it!

Don't know that I did much better today. Had 1/2 the bottle left from last night with my sister.... and once I got into that (had to finish it off of course!) I wanted more, so went to the store to get school lunches for tomorrow and came home with another bottle. I need to have nothing left in the house to "start fresh".... it's an endless, crappy circle.

I do know this... I felt SO much better all last week when I went 6 nights AF!! Getting to bed by 10 or 11, sleeping REALLY well, waking up tired (I am NOT a morning person!) but within 10 minutes was ready to take on the day (instead of going back to bed), went to the gym and had great workouts. Actually dropped 4-5 pounds this past week. I was more productive at work, more productive at home, felt better, looked better.... bottom line, I LOVED the feeling of being AF!

I was hoping I could get through this without the expense of the CD's etc.... I told myself I would not order anything (i.e. spend $$$) unless I couldn't tackle this on my own. Apparently, I can't.... So, I'm considering ordering the CD's, seeing the dr. about Topamax etc.... It's hard because I'm keeping this all to myself. I haven't even told my husband that I ordered and have read the book. I just want to do this myself and then let it be history. Maybe that's unrealistic?? It's just that I don't want to put everything "out there" and then feel like I'm being "watched" and have to answer to my every move. But, maybe that's what I need?

I did read the book, and I am amazed at what they say about the CD's/hypnotherapy... from what I read it seems that if I do the CD's I will abolish this addiction and be able to enjoy ONE glass of wine now and then without the feeling that I need more.... is this possbile? Has anyone experienced this same "miracle"? I'm a very open-minded person, but this almost seems "too good to be true". However, if it works... I'm all over it!! I'd spend the money in a heartbeat if I knew it would make me "normal" when it comes to drinking.....

Anyway, again.... I thank all of you for your responses.... I'm not giving up. Your encouragement is truly helpfull...

Thank you!!
Cheryl

**nancy** · October 7, 2007, 11:09 PM

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl,

Sounds like your experiences are mixed. On one hand, you feel a sense of achievement for doing 6 days and on the other you feel like you blew it. I think this is just a learning experience for you. Six days is very good. It gives you a sense that you can live without it and the benefits of not having it. The failure has taught you your limitations. If those things happen enough to you, no doubt you will just consider abstinence.

I think the hypno CDs are great but you need to have enough time to devote to them. It's a commitment and I have found it difficult to keep up with. I think the price isn't that high considering you might pay the same for one trip to a hypnotherapist for something that doesn't work (been there, done that).

It's a hard problem to beat so you are right to consider all options.

Should you tell your husband? I am a little reluctant to butt in, but I will anyway!

I don't know you or your husband obviously. But there have been some MWO members who have really regretted telling their partners and family, because they started getting treated like they had a problem and everyone was butting into the problem and there was a stigma associated with it. And yes, you may be watched.

Others say their spouses really are supportive and benefit from that.

I think that the general understanding of alcoholism closes people up to any idea of moderation. Once an alcoholic, always one and you get branded with the scarlet letter "A".

having said all that, no doubt trust is important in a relationship.

My gut instinct is that you should tell a modified form of the truth not the whole extent. Say you have been reading alcohol, even 3 drinks, raises risk of breast cancer. You have become aware that moderate drinking is actually only one drink a day, that's the safe level. And it has been putting some weight on you. Sometimes you think you drink too much, not more than some others do in social situations. but enough to make you worry, think you would like to cut down so you can be sharper during the day and feel healthier.

I wouldn't confess to loads of blackouts and fears of being out of control.

But maybe some others will have different opinions.

**nancy** · October 7, 2007, 11:10 PM

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl,

Sounds like your experiences are mixed. On one hand, you feel a sense of achievement for doing 6 days and on the other you feel like you blew it. I think this is just a learning experience for you. Six days is very good. It gives you a sense that you can live without it and the benefits of not having it. The failure has taught you your limitations. If those things happen enough to you, no doubt you will just consider abstinence.

I think the hypno CDs are great but you need to have enough time to devote to them. It's a commitment and I have found it difficult to keep up with. I think the price isn't that high considering you might pay the same for one trip to a hypnotherapist for something that doesn't work (been there, done that).

It's a hard problem to beat so you are right to consider all options.

Should you tell your husband? I am a little reluctant to but in, but I will anyway!

I don't know you or your husband obviously. But there have been some MWO members who have really regretted telling their partners and family, because they started getting treated like they had a problem and everyone was butting into the problem and there was a stigma associated with it. And yes, you may be watched.

Others say their spouses really are supportive and benefit from that.

I think that the general understanding of alcoholism closes people up to any idea of moderation. Once an alcoholic, always one and you get branded with the scarlet letter "A".

having said all that, no doubt trust is important in a relationship.

My gut instinct is that you should tell a modified form of the truth not the whole extent. Say you have been reading alcohol, even 3 drinks, raises risk of breast cancer. You have become aware that moderate drinking is actually only one drink a day, that's the safe level. And it has been putting some weight on you. Sometimes you think you drink too much, not more than some others do in social situations. but enough to make you worry, think you would like to cut down so you can be sharper during the day and feel healthier.

I wouldn't confess to loads of blackouts and fears of being out of control. I wouldn't be alarmist and make him think he has to jump in and control the situation. You may regret that later.

But maybe some others will have different opinions.

**MissCheryl** · October 9, 2007, 07:23 PM

Failed my first test

Hi all....

Still struggling.... I can't seem to get back on track. I would love to hear from anyone that has ordered/used the CD's. Again, from what I read in the book they seem "too good to be true". But, I am so willing to try if it really does work. I would SO love to be able to enjoy A glass of wine now and then at a special occasion, dinner out, or even a nice dinner "in".... If these CD's would help me do that.... WOW!! How awesome that would be.... But, it could be I just need to be AF... I don't know, it would just really help to hear from some of you that have done the CD's and had the same amazing results as the gals in the book....

Please give me any feedback that you can.... I really appreciate it!!
Cheryl

**Cinders** · October 9, 2007, 07:25 PM

Failed my first test

Me, too.

I have not ordered them due to $$ issues but if they are worth it, I will.

I need every bit of ammo I can get in this fight.

I am just skeptical and afraid I will spend money I can't really afford for something that doesn't work.

Let me know.

Cindi

**Bluebell** · October 9, 2007, 07:37 PM

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl, I'm sorry I can't help with the CD question because I haven't done that. BUT, in response to your talk about going to the Doctor, I would recommend that 100%. You want to get in control of your drinking and its a difficult thing to do. Especially, if, like me, you think you can just have one or two glasses of wine and be done with it. We know full well we will have one or two bottles! I went to my doctors and asked for Campral. It has been wonderful. I have been AF for 24 days now and, because I've had this break from drinking a bottle of wine (at least) most nights, it has given me a chance to take a step back and look at what I was doing and also a chance to live life AF and appreciate all that AF has to offer.

I have only just over a month left of the Campral and am not sure how I will tackle things once my prescription is all used up but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. The big thing is that I have been given a chance (thanks to Campral) to see or rather, to remind me, of how different and nice life is like without wine being a big issue and controller.

Well done on the 6 days AF! You have had a taste of the good life again. I would suggest you go to your doctor to get that extra crutch you may need to be AF for longer.

Very best of luck.

**nancy** · October 9, 2007, 07:57 PM

Failed my first test

Miracle cure?

I don't think the CDs offer a miracle cure. I see them as complementing treatment, not as a whole treatment in themselves.

Is the price easy enough for you to afford? Then go for it.

Also, factor some time in for listening to the CDs. Some days, it amounts to two hours a day. Others, it takes one hour and the sleep learning CD is supposed to be on every night. I find the schedule very hard to stick to but I have been trying very hard to stick to it lately.

Some people find the voice on the CDs unappealing. That is a bummer for them, having spent what seems to be a lot of money (I think it's cheap compared to going to an office). I find the voice is just fine. Also, I heard you can order single CDs from the hypnotist. Though the whole set is supposed to be most effective.

You might want to do a search for hypnotherapy and look at what has been written on this website. Some who have used the CDs may not have read your post.

Based on what you read, it sounds like a medication might be for you. Something that works right away. Topamax works quickly but has bad side effects. Naltrexone works and you can drink on it.

You probably need to just look around all the old threads for the information you are looking for.

**whitetiger** · October 9, 2007, 09:54 PM

Failed my first test

Hi Cheryl,
Six days is just awesome dont put yourself down ( I know its easier said then done) I too have done exactly what you have done....gone days without anythng, was great, my running improved out of sight, work went well and I coped so well with the kids.....then I had that one glass and blew the lot...but you can get back on track....like others have said here we are humans we fall we stumble and we get up again...cos you can do it...I havent bought the cds I am only very new here so I cant comment on them.
Stay positive and value what you have achieved ......which is just awesome
TorieJane

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