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**Janice** · October 7, 2007, 01:55 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Thank you for opening the thread Mary and well done last night staying AF - you have an amazing attitude, you are such an inspiration to all of us here! Good luck with your Sunday Mary!

Just a quick one from me, will be back later - its nearly 8am and just off for my swim with hubby. Feel positive - had a nice night without any wine.

Good luck today everyone,

Talk later, Janicexxx

**happydog** · October 7, 2007, 03:45 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

hi janice retteacher and anyone else.

Rt that makes two of us! I do feel please with nyself. Had a bbQ last night at a friends house had no drink, disappionted a few people. what is it when you say NO they dont understand. one friend pour me a glass offwine i only took a little mouth full and left it on the table, he come back later and still see the glass of wine there, he was not very impress. I ended up sleeping on the sofe.(was not feelin to well)
The bests bit was when i wanted to go home, it was like i was breaking up the mens drinking circle in the garden! (They did not look to please)
I dont know tho if iwas ok in myself i thinki would of gave in.
Anyway iam please for onces! (thats what counts)

love you all.xx
Teardrop.x

**rustop61** · October 7, 2007, 03:55 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Good morning everyone. Not good news from me I'm afraid. The last few days have been hectic as my cousin was staying and it was a round of hospitals. I was out of my routine and must admit that I was missing taking the supplements etc. Then yesterday evening I received a really nasty e-mail from my BIL. My MIL is probably in the early stages of alzeimers and is having the initial tests. I drove 3 hrs and took her for the first visit. However, I learned from my experience regarding xmas not to step in and keep doing things or I will be left doing it so I e-mailed two other family members living much closer and asked them if they could do the next one. She had been about to go to the hospital in a taxi by herself. No problem with one sister in law but this guy has a major chip on his shoulder and as I said received a nasty lecture in return. He does not agree with her having the tests in the first place etc etc. It really upset me so what did I do, reached for the wine.

I probably had about a bottle but am so disgusted with myself. I broke a brillant AF run. Thanks to you Mary I came back to the site this time. Last year I just stayed away and continued drinking. So I am back doing it ODAT. Sorry for the vent.

Rustop

**rustop61** · October 7, 2007, 04:05 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Hi guys

I am just after reading yesterdays site and I feel so much better already. We all have our individual struggles and as Cindi says if we can get AF in dribs and drabs then thats the way we do it. The support of this site helps us get there, thank you all for being there for me.

Rustop

**Janice** · October 7, 2007, 05:16 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Rustop, you have done brilliantly and as the old saying goes - a slip does not mean a fall, you still have your sobriety. You sound as if you've got your fair share of problems to cope with and the last few days have been so stressful for you anyway, taking your cousin to hospital. Families can be so draining and there always seems to be one person who gets landed with things, emotionally and physically. In your case it sounds as if that person is you, in my family it has been myself for nearly 10 years. Stress must definitely be our trigger Rustop - no wonder we reach for the bottle! My father-in-law had vascular dementia so I understand what you and your family are going through with the alzeimers' tests.

You have been so so strong and you can get that back, 1 slip is nothing. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself today, get that "plan" back in action, your cds, vitamins etc going again. I'm afraid there are times when we have to be that little bit selfish for our own sakes.

I feel so much stronger this week, I don't know what has made a difference but being AF has also helped me deal with my grieving for Dad better this week even though it could have been such a hard week with it being his birthday and being on my own. For the first time I haven't dwelt on those bad moments in the last couple of days of his life which I couldn't get out of my mind. I have found myself thinking of happy times more and just generally feeling much more positive even though I miss him so much.

Thinking of you Rustop and wishing you all the best for today - you have been a tower of strength to me over the last few weeks.

Best wishes, Janicexxx

**Guest** · October 7, 2007, 06:24 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Hi Mary, Janice, Teardrop, rustop and all to come.

So pleased for you in staying AF over dinner, Mary.......bet you`re feeling so proud of yourself this morning........that sense of achievement is one of the best feelings ever.

Janice........knew you`d enjoy the X-Factor just as much without the wine........fabulous.

Teardrop, good for you too for last night.......isn`t it funny how when steaming drunk we never want to go home `til they stop serving drink, but when we`re sober we can become something of the party-pooper who wants to leave at a respectable hour!! lol

Rustop........your own words......"a brilliant AF run".........yes you have........you still have that brilliant AF run. O.K........you messed up last night, but noone can take away all your AF to date, so please, don`t cry over what`s done.........you`ll be fine.......good to hear you`re jumping right back in. I think stress is a major contributory factor to why many of us drink or used to drink..........I`ve really thought long and hard about how stress and worries can cause us to seek refuge in the booze, and once I really took on board that drink itself cannot change a thing or improve any situation, only then did I realize that I could in all sobriety,deal with whatever life throws at me. We don`t just stop drinking and everything goes swimmingly........we have to learn to deal with life without the crutch of booze. I feel strong and in control these days........none of us need the alcohol to cope......it is the greatest traitor.........takes as much of us as we allow it, whilst giving us NOTHING in return.

Feeling fabulous..........going on the nicotine patches tomorrow as a serious attempt at quitting the fags........O.M.F.G..........am nervous of this, but I stink to High Heaven, so one must try!!! lol

Have the best of Sundays all !!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

**wantrealmeaning** · October 7, 2007, 07:18 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

hi everyone,

i nearly didn't make it yesterday, went shopping and was struck with really bad cravings. had the usual battle in my mind. even though the craving persisted, the agonising, should i, shouldn't, i didn't last that long.

rus, you have done so well, please please don't be disgusted with yourself, you have a lot on your plate by the sounds of it. your brilliant run of af has helped inspire me to keep on trying and keep on going.

well done teardrop, i refuse to put myself in a social situation just yet, i know i'm not strong enough at the moment.

Janice, you are sounding so much better in yourself, i hope it continues. here's to happy memories.

good luck with the patches star, i stink like a dirty ashtray. i'd like to stop smoking aswell, early days for me with the af though so i'll deal with 1 vice at a time. if you have the same mental attitude you have towards nicotine that you've had to alcohol i think you'll do great.

mary, hope you have a lovely af sunday with your family.

paula. hope your ok today, let us know.

hope everyone here and to come has a lovely stress free sunday

love
want
xx

**retteacher** · October 7, 2007, 07:44 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Everyone: I'm up early in spite of the very late bedtime. I feel a little tired but not hungover, as I didn't drink. For anyone who wants AF but has slipped: Please do not stay away from MWO. I know that's such a natural impulse. I've felt that way, but I forced myself to come here the next day. This is absolutely the only place I'm honest. As Janice said: "This is not a cometition." My recovery is coming. I like the "dribs & drabs" quote. I've noticed that when I do slip now, I don't go into an all-out binge anymore. The slips are much shorter-lived. I will be staying AF today. Mary

**Cinders** · October 7, 2007, 07:46 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Mary, Janice, Teardrop, rustop, Paula, Want,

Good morning everyone. This is one of the best ideas anyone ever had, this thread. I love the complete honesty and the continued searching, even when we slip. I believe it is one of the things that makes this site so powerful.

If I went to AA and slipped, I am sure I would be tempted to quit trying if I slip. That does not happen here. We are all on the same boat, train, plane, wagon. We are all just trying to meet our goals of AF or mods and know we will slip along the way until we finally figure out all the pieces of the puzzle.

I am not saying it is "okay" to just say oh well, no one will mind if I slip, they will still care about me. (Which is true.) What I am saying is that all of us know that every person is different and some will take longer to figure out their puzzles than others. On the way, we will all learn from each other and keep taking positive steps toward our goals.

I still believe that the AF runs are better than no run at all. Period.

And I, for one, am glad that each and every one of us feels we can keep on trying no matter what.

I love and care about all of you and feel the same way myself. People out there care and know I am going to keep at it.

Doing well this round and feel good. I got 11 hours sleep last night. I guess being home and with my hubby helped. :-)

Have a wonderful Sunday all and never quit trying to quit.

Love,
Cindi

**Cinders** · October 7, 2007, 07:49 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Oops, Forgot to say good morning to my girl Starlight!!

Best of luck with quitting the cigs!! So many bad things happen to us from smoking and if you can lick this one, you will have truly taken huge strides to making your physical and mental life better.

I am going to quit smoking, too, as soon as I feel a little better about the drinking. I am getting there!! :-)

Love,
Cindi

**paula** · October 7, 2007, 09:40 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Good afternoon everyone, I have only just got in from work. Hope everyone has achieved
whatever they wanted to, so far I have. I'm feeling much brighter.It's great to be able to
come and talk on this site.
Wish you all well.
Love Paula.xx

**paula** · October 7, 2007, 09:43 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Starlight, Cindi,
good luck with the fags, thank god I never fancied one.
Love Paula.xx

**vinophile** · October 7, 2007, 10:32 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

Happy Sunday,

Once I get on the dancefloor with my drinking thoughts I know for sure that I will drink. Saturday night dinners are my downfall. I did have a few glasses of wine last night. I know this, in the big picture, is not a catastrophe I do feel I let myself down.I will have to draw up an airtight Sat night plan in the future. The weeknights,fortunately, don't seem to be too much of a problem but I have to get over the mindset that I "deserve" to have wine on the weekend.
For those who remained AF yesterday great job!!! I'll have to stick close by your sides next weekend.
For those of us who did give in let's get right back up and keep going.

Rustop, after so many days AF I know you must feel let down but you have been such an inspiration to me, as has Mary. We are moving in the right direction. Recovery is about getting better and healing amd that for sure you are doing.

Janet

**nancy** · October 7, 2007, 11:31 AM

Newbies in Need ODAT - Sunday Oct. 6th

I really enjoyed today's thread. Mary, it's great to hear you can go to a dinner party and not drink. That would be very hard for me to do. And Rustop, I think we have developed dependence on alcohol when times get tough, and it takes a while to change that relationship. As long as you are taking steps forward, that's a good thing.

I was pretty depressed yesterday, usual feelings of emptiness, and I was tempted to drink to relieve it. Instead, I got some non-alcoholic wine. I did hypno CDs yesterday and today and I am going to have one whole AF week under my belt. It's very important for me to separate unhappiness and relief with alcohol. If I can do that, I think I will take a big step forward.

Starlight. I hope you can quit smoking. You can try the patches and gum. And I guess hypnotism is very effective for some people. It causes so many health problems. I really hope you can quit.

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