I'm writing this at almost 1AM on Friday. I can't sleep, but I'm not stressing about it. One of the reasons I started drinking was to fall asleep. I'd take small glasses of whatever alcohol was available, & that would do the trick. However, because my drinking was progressive, I had to drink more & more to fall asleep. Then I started drinking alone & in private...& the rest is history. By the time I came here to MWO in April, I wasn't really sleeping. I was passing out...only to wake up at some unGodly early morning hour sweaty & w/a pounding heart. Tomorrow I might be a little tired, but I won't be hungover & ill.
I'm finding myself more & more determined to stay sober. The rewards are huge. I have been more irritable than I was when I was drinking. I couldn't feel irritable or any other emotion, because I was so numbed out all the time. Now if I get snappish, I can say "I'm sorry" & we can go on w/our lives.
I'm just beginning day 7 of my AF program. I'm working on a 30 day stretch, but I actually know in my heart that my whole lifetime should be AF. My so-called social drinking days are over.
Cindi: Keep on keeping on! I'm right behind you. Love, Mary
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