I am a 28 year old female born and raised in Toronto, Ontario. I've had emotional problems for as long as I can remember and have been diagnosed with chronic depression years ago.
I've never received any beneficial treatment for the depression, although I've been really trying to take advantage of every option possible this time around. I've (finally) started seeing a therapist, and my GP, who has been really supportive and as helpful as she could be for the last couple of years, has directed me to a psychiatrist who I see every 6 weeks or so.
I've been drinking heavily since I was 19 (legal age in my province - I was a good girl). I've made many mistakes, hurt myself many times, and made a lot of bad decisions. Although I met my current boyfriend at the bar I used to hang out 6-7 days a week (I go there only once/twice a month now), he and I are living together and he is very UPSET with my drinking.
I can go several days without drinking without a problem - no withdrawal or anything but I do have a big drinking problem. After two or three days, or sometimes a little bit longer (it depends on my emotional state, etc.) I get "itchy". I mean "itchy" both figuratively and literally. I crave alcohol (beer in particular) and my body gets itchy - around my ears, sometimes my chin, etc. Everything feels itchy!!
I want to get well - although I don't know what that feels like. I also want to keep my relationship from failing - and if I don't stop drinking and get better soon he's going to leave,
That's it for now, I guess. This is me. I hope I can get better eventually.
nw
PS - Sorry my post is so long... if you've made it this far - thank you for hearing me. :thanks:
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