New and hopeful!

[Bessie]

Hi All

I've only just found this forum but it's what I have been looking for for a long time. I spend a lot of time on the PC (work and leisure - don't have a tv) and really wanted to find a supportive 'community' to 'talk' to and support me. So, all that and a system too!!

I have read so many stories that are mine! Drinking heavily for probably 20 years now but considered it a problem for the last few years. A bottle of wine most nights but sometimes open the second one. And I hate myself in the morning...beat myself up... curse the lost hours, the health implications...the cost..... the inability to moderate myself.....I guess you know the feeling!? I CAN go without and I love it when I do but those days are few and far between atm. I recently tried counselling but only had two sessions and counsellor moved out of the area (something I said?!) I recognise my triggers and fully appreciate the good side of not drinking but all that logic just doesn't help when the cork comes out of the bottle (or the screw cap, so often these days)

I only drink at night either on my own or with husband who drinks quite heavily too but seems to be more able to have a night off or just a couple of glasses. I can happily go out to dinner and only have one or two glasses if I am driving without feeling a craving for more. And I would never drink during the day - unless on holiday. This makes me feel better about it but doesn't actually mean anything when I am capable of drinking so much later in the day...!

Anyway, I could bang on for ages about me and my problem (I can type quickly so tend to do a lot of it!!) I'd be really interested to hear from anyone who recognises this behaviour (the drinking not the excessive typing!!) and how you are doing, how you have done it - the cds, books, supplements and meds? I am willing to try some or all of them but need to find out more. Off to read some more posts....... and thanks for reading mine.

[Guest]

New and hopeful!

Hi Bessie and welcome.

Each of us is different........what worked for me may not work for you, so best starting point is to read RJ`s book to consider all your options.If you visit the site`s Health Store, you`ll have the opportunity to purchase everything you could possibly need to get yourself off the drink, apart from the meds. If you can`t manage to get a prescription for one of the meds(dependent upon location) from your G.P., you can purchase from one of the online pharmacies.

Glad you`re here Bessie........if you arm yourself with the right tools for you and are wholly determined to quit........you cannot fail.

Wishing you love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[Bluebell]

New and hopeful!

Hi Bessie and welcome.

I hope you have a good look round this site and any questions you have, ask away! There will always be someone around to help!

Nice to meet you.

[Cinders]

New and hopeful!

Bessie,

:welcome:

I can't add to the advice, read the book as step one.

However, I do want to say that your story is very similar to mine, EXCEPT that I had let mine go just a little further. When I was home and not away on one of my "gigs" I would often start drinking very early in the day.

But, yes, 1 - 2 bottles a night became quite the norm for me. Boy, there is nothing like a wine hangover, is there?

I was lucky that I did not damage my career or get a DUI before I found MWO. However, it has taken a long time for me to get to the point that I could even truly attempt more than a few days AF in a row.

So, my advice to you is to keep whacking away at it. This is not an easy addiction to beat and it may take off first time for you or it may take several times. Eventually, it will click.

And, yes, you have to really want it. You have to want it bad enough that you can over come the "call of the bottle." It is that simple and that difficult.

Again, welcome and I am reallly looking forward to "seeing" you around the boards.

Cindi

[meditation mama]

New and hopeful!

Hi Bessie.. and welcome! Starlights advise is great.. Having tools in your box is oneof the best things you can do for yourself. You may not need them all, but they are nice to have around.. I started with jus tthe supps, but found great relief when I started the Topamax. I haven't been taking it for about a month, decided to try mods.. but it is back to AF and Topa for me. Oh, I just started the AllOne and LOVE it! Mix it with my v-8. I really feel great when I take it!

Good luck and stick around..

Namaste,

MM

[free bird]

New and hopeful!

Wow Bessie, I don't think I could have told my story better. You sound soooo much like me. started drinking when I was 14 though just to get drunk with my friends. Now many, many years later opening a bottle of wine (after having a bear), finish the bottle and when no one is looking have another bear. Never have liked drinking during the day and have managed to only have 2 or 3 drinks at a time. Type like a mad woman too. And....wow....I feel like I've had a wine hangover for at least 10 years. Yuk...Yuk...Yuk.

Found this site recently and cannot believe how supportive everyone is to each other (no matter what). That's great....no judgement. We don't need that as we tend to be very critical of ourselvs enought. I read the book and have started supplements and they have, after three weeks, worked well for me. I am very determined though. Buy the way I do feel great with less to no drinking, and waking up in the morning without drinking the night before is SIMPLY DEVINE. I am waiting for my topa and I am very anxious and nervous to start. I have also ordered modafinil to help with the dopa side of topa buy don't know if I will take that. I don't need any more nervous energy.

Anyway best of luck to you. Let us know how you get along.

[betty boop]

New and hopeful!

Bessie :welcome: to MWO

I was doing exactly the same, but like Db2 I had started drinking as soon as I got up some days ......

A word of warning though, this could be your new addiction :H

[auntiegriselda]

New and hopeful!

Hi Bessie.
I want to add my welcome. I found this site by googling and it has been a godsend. If you get the urge to drink, just get on here and someone will help you. I had a weak day yesterday and almost gave in but made it through my 13th AF day with help from Betty, Starlight and others. I have to also say that I feel so much better. It's wonderful getting up in the morning and not being hung over. I can actually think during the day!!
Hang in there and check in here often!

[free bird]

New and hopeful!

Betty Boop, Wow again, I was just thinking that this was becoming my new addiction. Wierd. Is it a bad thing? Just kidding. How could it be?

[Gumby]

New and hopeful!

Bessie, I could have written what you wrote sounds just like me, I certainly feel your pain as I am in the same boat..... lets keep in touch. I tried this program back in January and although I was never AF i was able to cut back. I am returning and so far I haven't been very good but I feel as though I am here for a reason because I care and any time now and with support of others the little light in the attic will turn on. So I can say Iam hopeful!! Wine is my weekness!!

[Determinatrix]

New and hopeful!

Bessie,
Others more eloquent before me have said so much.
Just want to welcome you and encourage you to stay involved.
Dx

[Bessie]

New and hopeful!

What a lovely bunch you all are! Thank you for your words of advice - all heeded. And for those of you who say your stories are just like mine, that is a great comfort. I am not alone.

Tonight is going to be day 1 AF. I don't really want to give up completely - I would like to be able to enjoy drinking like I enjoy smoking. I can have a cigarette or two or even three of an evening and then not bother about it for weeks. That would be my goal for alcohol although it seems a bit unrealistic atm. Still, the first thing is to take days one at a time, read the book (already downloaded) and decide on my plan of action with meds/supplements etc. Oh, and keep popping in here for a good dose of support, common sense and advice! .

:thanks:

[Guest]

New and hopeful!

Wishing you all the best for tonight, Bessie.

Starlight Impress x

[Bessie]

New and hopeful!

Ok - not the best result for first day.....

Despite my determination yesterday I pulled the plug on a bottle of wine. I was having a very good day, productive, busy etc but sat down at the PC to download some music and chat with friends and just felt a bit tooooo good about everything - hence the wine. Damn and blast! Still I am NOT going to beat myself up. I am annoyed with myself but I can overcome that. And I feel a definite, positive shift in my attitude towards drinking as a problem as a result of finding this site. I will beat it, it won't beat me. It is heartening to me that it was the one bottle and that I made a conscious decision to go to bed rather than open another. That's quite a step for me atm!!

It doesn't help that I have cases of the stuff stored in the outhouse - ready for a big holiday event in November - and I keep tucking into it. When I finish this post I am going out to tape all the boxes and store them somewhere where it will be much more difficult to get to. (Not that it will stop me if I really want but I might as well put as many obstacles in my way as possible!!).

I have read as much of the book as I could in one go but have left the plan bit (chap 4 I think) until tomorrow so I can really absorb what it says. Have researched the supplements and meds. Not sure about the hypnotherapy cds but prepared to give it a go.

I have mapped out the rest of the week and realised that I have 3 evenings where I can offer to drive (and only drink 1 glass) or where drink isn't available and we will be back late so won't be so tempted to open a bottle. Can make those my first 3 AF days. Then plan the next days after that. Short periods of time will be easier to deal with I hope?

Anyway, I'm going to keep banging out these rambling updates on my progress ....and I know I will have help when I need it.....:thanks:

[free bird]

New and hopeful!

Bessie,

Sounds like you have a plan. It's definitely a work in progress all the time. You are on the right track. I think all the little steps we take will get us where we want to bee some way or another. Hang in there.