i was doing so well.
i managed to get through friday night af with my friend. it was her daughters birthday so stuffing my face with birthday cake helped with the cravings.
yesterday at 5:30pm i decided to treat me and my kids to a chinese, whilst waiting for the chinese i found myself in the off license getting 2 bottles of beer and a bottle of wine. my heart was pounding and i felt like everyone knew my dirty secret. when i'd finished them i went and got ANOTHER bottle of wine. .
2 bottles of beer and 2 bottles of wine........ i feel so disappointed and ashamed.........
why is the love i have for my kids not enough to stop me?......i wasn't stumbling about infront of my kids and i can remember going to bed........which has shocked me after the amount i drank......
i love my kids so much but i hate myself.
gonna get the l - glut tomorrow, they didn't have any in on saturday but are expecting an order tomorrow. looking back, i think when the shop assistant told me they didn't have any i made a subconscious decision to drink then.
i need to get real and honest with myself.
don't really know what to say except i'm full of self loathing
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