Thank you all for creating this space and for your encouragement. I have been lurking for a week and after sending my brother off to his second rehab this year I am finally making a concerted effort to stop my own binge drinking.
I am 40, and married, no kids. My husband of 16 years is one of those wonderful people who can drink a beer, or a glass of water, or drink two beers, or one cocktail, or one glass of wine and put it down and forget about it while I gaze longly at it from over my empty glass. I can easily go one, two or three days AF, and maybe then I can have one or two drinks and make tea to distract myself, but every five or six days BAM I'll drink nearly two bottles of wine and hide the empty so he doesn't see it in the morning. Yuck. And this has been going on for at least ten years. I am very tired of calling him or a friend for a ride home from a restaurant's bar and then having to figure out how to get my car in the morning. And trying to remember how I got those bruises on my legs and where the heck my cute new jacket is.
A few years ago I had elevated liver functions and talked to my doctor about the 20 drinks per week I was putting away. She looked appalled, told me the only solution was AA and that there wasn't anything else that worked. I didn't believe her then, and felt short-changed. I have since changed doctors. Went on milk thistle on the advice of a friend with HepC and my liver functions are now just fine even though the alcohol consumption has not changed... so I know supplements DO work. And I know there is "something else," or else all the people I know who have quit drinking without religious 12-step programs were just "playing" at being alcohol abusers??? So here I am.
I just received the CDs (listened to the first one before bed but didn't remember to stop it before he counts you up out of it.. was WIDE awake all night, ouch), the book and the L-Glutamane and Kudzu, which I am on my 2nd day taking. AF yesterday but it was a mental battle. Two drinks the night before, and only one the night before that, so I am generally gearing up for a bender about now. I have an appointment with my general practitioner Nov. 4 and intend to request Topa. But I am very very nervous about taking it. I try to steer clear of meds in general and the side effects, especially the fuzzy head, make me nervous. (I know, I have a fuzzy head a couple times a week already.) I am also afraid she won't give it to me. I am also afraid that I won't ever have my friend Vodka to hang out with again. Any words of encouragement anyone can give me would be grealty appreciated. Have a wonderful day and I am sorry this is so long.
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